A cup of tea and good conversations do wonders for the soul 🍵🧡

Hi ❣ It’s so nice to see you,- like always 😊 I hope all is fine with you 🧡

A good cup of tea and some good conversations do wonders for the soul 🍵. And I had a bit of that this weekend- some cups of tea and some good conversations that was incredibly good for my soul 😊. I don’t know if I can call what my friend and I for “afternoon tea” like the Englishmen have, but in my way it was 😊. It was in the afternoon, it was tea and it was some homemade cakes too, and it was good for the soul 😊.

I had have a bit on my mind lately, and still have, but with some good conversations, some tasty tea together with a good friend and her help to “sorted” out a bit, and make some small, short plans, for day by day, and week by week, not month by month at the moment. It’s good to start in the “small” when things sometimes feels a bit to big and overwhelming,- and it’s even better to get a bit help just during some good conversations 😊.

I’m a bit surprised over this “effect” a “tea “time- out”” can have, both when I’m enjoying a cup of tea on my own, but even more when I’m enjoying it together with someone 🍵.

A cup of tea together with a good friend this weekend 🍵

I know tea has an relaxing effect, and it’s actually healthy too because 99% of a cup of tea is water. Maybe my cup of tea is with 98% of water and the 2% of honey 🌼 ? I really like to squeeze a bit of honey in my tea, but honey is healthy too 😊.

The “perfect” cup of tea I think is a bit various from person to person, but my ” perfect” cup of tea is in general not to hot and not cold, more around 40 degrees I think ( Celsius) 🍵. And my favourite it ment tea with honey, but I do drink other tastes too …. with honey 😊.

I know I’m standing in front of some changes (and challenges too) in my life,- and like ny friend told me- changes is hard in the beginning, messy in the middle, but so gorgeous in the end. I choose to believe her, and in my mind I know that’s so true too. But to be honest,- I actually just want to “jump over” the hard and the messy and straight to the gorgeous 😅.

I know it’s not quite the way it’s “working”, so I, at the moment, do what I did in the beginning of April/ the Easter,- just relaxing a bit, sleep, work- of course, but is a bit nice to myself and don’t press my self to much. But just for a couple of days, before I really need to start working a bit hard for meeting the changes (and challenges) I have in front of me 🥀.

I don’t know “what or where” two or three months in front of me will bring me at the moment. In general we do think we know what we in a way can “expect” us from the days and daily lifes both two and three months in front of us. I know, because I have thought like that my self, even when the life actually have “teach” my something else now and then.

I also know I, one more time, I need to “put” some of my plans and wishes “on hold” for reaching, and special manage to handle the different changes I have in front of me at the moment. But okay,- that’s life 🥀.

I feel incredibly lucky and grateful that have some great friends that can help me “sort out” things in my mind and soul when things can feel a bit difficult, hard, messy and overwhelming 🧡. It’s good to not feel alone, even I know I’m in a way on my own too. I need to “walk the steps” to the changes on my own 😊.

I hope you are so lucky as I am with my great friends 🧡. That you can enjoy a cup of tea and have some nice conversation, nice conversations that both feels like medicine for the soul as well as helping you a bit with to sort things out now and then when you need it 🥀.

I wish you a great day or evening wherever in the world you are 🧡. Thank you so much for using your time and dropping by my blog today 🧡

See you soon 😊

Together with the tea we also had some homemade Norwegian waffles, jam and snacks 😊

Sometimes a cup of tea together with a good friend is like medicine for the soul 🍵. Just a good conversation can help to sort things out a bit, and be helpful to just take one or two steps at the time, instead of three months steps in front of you 😊.

#friends #friendship #lifeis #onmymind #goodconversations #feelinggrateful #enjoying #timeout #feelinglucky #acupoftea #soul #helpful #afternoontea #changes #challenges #positivefocus

Thank you, April 🌹Welcome May 🧡

Hi ❣ It’s so nice to see you,- like always 😊 I hope all is fine with you 🧡

April is soon over and it’s time for me to say Thank you, April for the time “together” and Goodbye 🥀.

It’s not very much that’s happen, at the same it’s a bit “here and there” 😊. The days as an customer service agent on the phone are very busy, and have been busy all month 🎧. The phone is more and less calling “non stop”. So I’m very happy I used the Easter days to relax and sleep as much as I did 😊.

I have baked to my children and knit and painted too 🍪 🎨🧶.

My cold showers become warm again and that was very nice 🚿, and I did dropped by the hairdresser too for a short visit to “refresh” my hair a bit ✂️.

I have been dropping by menopause and the midlife, and that’s not over that’s for sure. So I’m probably going to “drop by” that subject now and then a bit more.

I did change the name at my blog, and at the moment I’m also trying out a “email- concept” to my blog and see how that goes and will working out😊.

My oldest son was born in April, and I could “celebrate” 27 year as a mammi 🧡.

I have also had a short “dropping in” to the dating “subject”. I thought I had more “distance” to my experiences from the past then I obviously have. So dating, and relationship are still put “on hold” for a while. I need to resett my self a bit more when it comes to that. That’s the way it is. And well,- I don’t think the online chatting is “helping” either,- but what to do? I need to earn some money.

April has been in it’s own way nice and gentle 💛, and busy too, but now in the end a couple of not to “good news” showed up, “just in case”. But I will probably manage to handle them too, as well as find solutions that’s best for me. I just need to keep calm, use my the wise and do my best, look for and try to find solutions 😊.

The first “not to good news” is that there has been some unexpected withdrawals to my bank account. Not very much, 9 euro here and 10 euro there. Lucky for me the bank found out what is was and did transfer the money back to my bank account. It was actually some unknown phonenumber I have answer, no one in the other end, but to pick up the phone cost me 9 and 10 euro. So I’m not picking up my phone anymore when a number I don’t know is calling me ☎️. I can’t support scammers, that’s for sure.

But scammers did “dropped up” in my computer too 😳. The internet company I’m using called me and asked me about some streaming I did once a week around midnight 😳. I’m not streaming, and had now idea what they talked about. But that one costed me 20 euro pr week, and they couldn’t pay that money back 😔. But they could at least stop the streaming. Obviously someone has hacked into my internet in some or another way. 20 euro pr week doesn’t sound to much for some, but for me it is a bit of money. Special when it has last for 8 weeks too, and I didn’t know. But hopefully this is over as well.

And them the house- owner asked me if I wanted to continue renting the house, and also told my that they needed to change the rent, but in a good way for both them and me. I actually said yes to rent for a bit longer time, because I need to save up some money to deposit, one month houeserent, fee to an rent agent company and a movingcar for moving to a new place…. before I can move 😐. And I actually believed the house owner when they told me “in a good way for both them and me”. We are, after all, living in a pandemic time, with all the various changes and challenges it entails for most people. So I need to admit I haven’t see a rent rise for 150 euro per month coming 😳. Phu,- that one was really like a cold shower 🚿.

But okay,- I will manage to find a solution for this too,- you know when one door is closing a new one is opening up 🔑. Unfortunately I can’t effort moving at the moment either, because it cost both one month deposit, one month rent and in general also one month to the renting agency too. So it’s just to “fold up my arms” , work and work and save as much as I can during the next months.

And yes,- me and my colleague got an other cold shower too, yesterday. It’s not sure the company we are working for will manage to find an other job for us from August. So we both have felt on a tiny little stone in our stomachs today. So at the moment I know I have the customer service agent job on the phone for 3 more months, after that? I have no idea what will happen.

But I have at least my freelance work, so my focus for the next months is actually work and work and work a bit more to manage this “different unexpected not to good news”, and save, save, save as much as I can. And get as many and much online work projects as possible.

But I will still Thanks April for the nice and gentle moments and time this month has given me 🧡. Hopefully I can say Thank you for the unexpected “not to good news” too one day, but not today. Today I need to sort out a bit thoughts and feelings, things and also change my plans a bit too. But it will be more hours for work and not to many hours for other things for a while, that’s for sure 😊. But,- That’s life, isn’t it? It is what it is, and I just need to try to do my best of it, as well as the “not to good news” too. Maybe there are some nice surprises behind them? 🥀 I really hope so 🙏.

And Welcome May, the month that slowly brings the summer into our days 🌞. I don’t know very much about what I can expect, but I know it will be sunny days, and days with a bit more work then I had in my mind, and hopefully I will find some kind of “solutions” to both of the “not to good news” I got now in the end of April 🥀. And I know my daughter is coming some days to visit me and be on “holiday” in my home for some days, as well as I know my oldest son will drop by too ❤. So there’s something really good to look forward to in May as well 🥰.

Thank you April for nice and gentle days 🥀, and Welcome May 💛- I really hope you are coming with a lots of sunshine, warm and relaxing days in more then just the physical way,- but also mentally as well as with some “sunny” solutions too 🌞.

I wish you a great day or evening wherever in the world you are 🧡 Thank you so much for using your time and dropping by my blog today 🧡

See you soon 😊

Thank you, April, and welcome May- with your warmer days 🌞

Thank you April for nice and gentle days 🥀, and Welcome May 💛- I really hope you are coming with a lots of sunshine, warm and relaxing days in more then just the physical way,- but also mentally as well as with some “sunny” solutions too 🌞.

#april #may #solutions #changes #challenges #thankful #lifeis #thatslife #thelife

Is it worth it? ❤💘💔

Hi ❣It’s so nice to see you,- like always 😊 I hope all is fine with you 🧡

Like I mention in my post “ I’m currently not dating….” it’s because of my experiences when it comes to dating and even more when it comes to relationships. And I know I need to resett my self a bit, a bit more then I actually thought.

I haven’t lost the faith in love and relationship, because I see both family and friends around me have great relationships. Functional relationships build on a bit different things then my last relationship was. So I know it’s possible to have a healthy and loving relationship with the correct person and partner.

I may seem bitter, critical and cynical when it comes to love and relationships – but I’m not really.  I see that it all, my attitude to relationships, is based on my own experiences, and not necessarily what for most couples and relationships is a reality. I’m just worried the reality I have, my experienc, when it comes to relationship is going to be a reality and truth for me one more time,- and I know I can’t handle that one more time. It takes so much time and energy to just be “here” I’m now, and I have still some steps left to walk.

To be “here” I’m now has took me over 7 years, and there’s still things that’s make me want to throw up when I think about relationship, and I know I’m not ready to handle different “challenges” a relationship can gives, yet.

I’m not interested to be in a relationship now. I need to resett my self, my mind, soul and heart before that can be a “issue” again.

I’m not interested to have all the differents commitments it’s obviously necessary to have when you are in a relationship.

I’m not interested to be treated so bad as I has been in relationship anymore. I’m not interested to give so much from my self and get so little back. I’m not interested in all the different “restrictions” , claim and demand there is in a relationship. I’m not interested to be told all the different things I’m doing wrong. All from what kind of clothes I’m very, complains about the food I’m making or what wrong store I did bought it in. I’m not interested to listen to all the things that are wrong with me and all the different kinds of treatment I need to have so I can be “correct”.

I’m not interested to feel so totally alone anymore. I was and felt more alone, lonely and lonesome in that relationship than I have ever been, and then I’m now when I’m actually alone, now when it’s just me. I actually lost the contact with my family and my friends during this relationship,- and I was totally alone too ( except from my children, I unfortunately, also manage to drag with me in this’ that’s incredibly painful to think about 😭 💔).

And I was scared too, and worried. I felt I had a big, big grey and heavy stone in my stomach. And I did cry a lot, but I had no one to go too.

I’m not interested to feel so miserable and confused anymore. Or so unsecured on closely everything. Myself, my work, my interests, my thoughts, my body, my health, my mental mind, my clothes, my habits. I don’t want to feel so totally alone and failed in “all” different areas of life.

I’m not interested to be and feel monitored and looked after.  Be called a liar, or hear that I have no heart – or if I’m so lucky to have a heart, it’s full of black holes. I’m not interested to hear I’m stupid, and “something needs to be wrong with me”, and go to many different treatments to be “fixed” 😳.

I’m not interested to be “brainwashed” one more time. I’m not interested to feel like I’m drawing in a ice cold dark ocean when I’m standing on land in the sunshine.

A relationship for me was to many demands, expectations, pressures, hopes, disappointments, responsibilities, commitments and I did more and less most of this “all the time” wrong too, just in case. I was happy in the wrong way, I was sad in the wrong way, I “did” the relationship- commitment wrong. But when all comes to all,- nothing of this, my experiences is love or unconditional love. It’s “power” and control over an other person. I know that.

But this is my private and personal experience from a boyfriend and to be in a relationship. And in my head I know this kind of treatment in a relationship (or actually general for all treatment of people) is not love, it’s not about the respect for another person.

I know many has other and more positive experiences to be in a relationship then I have. I can’t just find, feel or remember very much positive with a relationship. But,- the good thing is,- I still have an imagination of a good, loving and healthy relationship- I can “work for” when or if I’m going to be ready for a boyfriend and a relationship again.

But to be honest,- it’s not worth it for me, not when I think, feel and do remember how it was to be in a relationship, how it was to be together with a boyfriend. It’s not worth it,- to feel so incredibly miserable closely all the time. At least not at the moment, maybe never, to go through this again.

I probably sounds bitter, but I’m not. I just know that this is my life and I don’t want to have something like that in my life ever again. I’m lucky- lucky that was dropped off in Spain, if not I don’t think I have been here today.

I really need to resett my self, and I don’t know how long time that will take. But what I do know is that a new man in my life will not “fix” this at the moment, fix my mind and soul. My heart, I think my heart is actually fine, because I was never heartbroken to be dropped off in Spain, just in a very big shock.

This Easter I did started to paint the pain, my not to good experiences when it comes to a relationship. I’m going to show you when it’s finish, but it will take a bit time before it’s finished. It’s a bit painful process to paint at the same time an incredible relief feeling too.

Of course I do think about my “why” I wanted to date and hopefully get into a relationship again, but I don’t know at the moment if my “why” is worth it. And I do know that it’s not worth to be in a relationship if it’s like my experiences are.

So that’s why I don’t date, and are not “looking” for a boyfriend and relationship, because I’m worried and scared, and it was not worth it.

Time will show what’s happens, and if I’m changing my mind when it comes to boyfriend and relationship, and if I manage to resett my heart, soul and mind 🌹. But at the moment I’m here I’m and that’s fine, I’m fine 🌹.

I wish you a great day or evening wherever in the world you are 🧡. Thank you so much for using your time and dropping by my blog today 🧡

See you soon 😊

Fixing a broken heart- finish painted by me in 2016.

My experiences from a relationship are not the best, I know that. And it’s actually not my heart that’s broken, I think my heart is very good 🧡. But my experiences that are in my mind and soul still need time to be resett before I will be able to think and believe that a relationship can be different from my experiences 🌹.

#experiences #differences #imagenation #love #unconditionallove #relationship #treatment #dating resettmyself #challenges #changes

I’m not currently dating,- and it’s my choice 🌹

Hi ❣ It’s so nice to see you,- like always 😊 I hope all is fine with you 🧡

I’m not currently dating, and it’s a time since I actually did date, and also was “looking” for a date. And I’m very fine with that. I actually don’t miss dating or being in a relationship. Because in my mind I do understand the “dating- concept” as you meet up with someone because you want, and hopefully will get a serious relationship together with this person. Both are interested in each other,- that’s why it is a date. It’s not sure this “understaning” is correct. It’s just the way I understand the “dating- concept”.

But I need to admit that for a period I actually thought that I miss dating, miss being in a relationship, and missed a boyfriend in my life. But the truth is I did miss an imagination, and not my reality when it comes to relationships. But my imagination over how a relationship can or should be.

I deleted the dating app Tinder in October/ November 2019, and haven’t regret that so fare. But I was “tired” of the “dating” before I deleted the app. It didn’t gave me very much, to be honest. Like relationships haven’t given me to much either. To be fair,- it’s my last “long term- serious” relationship that’s “freshest” in my mind, and also where many of my not to good experiences when it comes to relationships are “build on”. Natural enough, but also maybe unfortunately?

And it’s actually more the 7 years since that relationship ended- something I’m very grateful for 🙏, but still it has “marked” my mind and soul in a bit negative direction and with a bit negative thoughts and experiences when it comes to dating and relationship.

I have met some nice dates during the lasts years, but also some strange dates. But that’s not the reason why I have made a choice and decision to not date for a while.

Dating didn’t gave me very much, or to use the dating app and “try” to find a date, a date that’s also maybe would became to a serious relationship after a while.

Maybe I’m not a “nettdating- person”? Maybe I need to met a man in “the real life” and not during a “switch left or right” app? I know it’s different dating- app’s, not just like the way Tinder is in “function”. But still I don’t think nettdating is something for me.

It’s not just that I’m not a “nettdating- person” that made me choose to not date for a while, but also because I know I need to resett my self when it comes to dating and relationship. Really resett my self. Maybe I manage to do it, maybe not. I don’t know, I don’t even know if I’m going out there in the “dating and relationship” world again either. And it’s fine. I’m fine with that.

I have thought a bit over why I wanted to date at that time I was a bit “busy” with that. And for me it was about attention, be attracted and became attracted of, intimacy and sex, hopefully feel “close” to an other man both mentally as well as psychic, meet someone to share different things and stuffs in life together with, someone to have different experiences together with as well as do things and stuffs together with, feel “connected” together with, someone “special” and be “special” for, feel butterflies in my stomach and some extra heartbeats too, just because of that man and the feelings I had for him, to feel important for someone, to miss someone as well as be missed, and probably a bit more I don’t remember anyone and at the moment 😊.

But the reality, my reality is that I haven’t actually very much real experiences from this, this thoughts about how I think a relationship is “in function”. My own experiences when it comes to, special relationships, are not like my “dreams and imaginations”, if I can call it that. Because my dreams and imagination about a relationship is “my why” I wanted to date and be in a relationship, but the truth is, my truth and my experiences and my reality is not very similar with my imagination.

My experiences from a relationship are actually something I don’t want to go through again. And we date because we want to meet someone that’s makes us feel “comfortable”, feel happy and happiness, joy and love and so on. We in general dates because of “my why” I wanted to date.

So I made a decision for more then over 1,5 years ago that I don’t want to date. I don’t want to date before all of me, my heart, my mind, my soul are ready for dating and ready for the commitments and the responsibility a relationship has. I need to really resett my mind, my heart and my soul first. And I have no idea how long time my “resett- process” will take. Maybe “forever”? I don’t know, and that’s fine 😊.

And it’s actually a good feeling to say “Thank you, but No Thank you, I’m not dating at the moment”, when someone asks me out for a ice tea or a coffee, a glass of wine or a lunch. And in general I don’t even get the question “why not”, and to be honest, it’s actually no one’s “business” either why I don’t date. It’s my choice, and I’m very fine and comfortable with my choice too 😊. And I’m very relaxed with my choice as well, when it comes to this “currently not dating” 😊. And I’m actually not even sure it’s worth it, – the dating and relationship,- to expose myself to maybe get the same experiences again when it comes to relationships.

Like I have mention before,- when or if I’m want to date again and want a serious relationship I can but out an “vaccination available” in my blog 😅. We see what’s happen there in the future 😊.

I wish you a great day or evening wherever in the world you are 🧡. Thank you so much for using your time and dropping by my blog today 🧡

See you soon 😊

My imagination about how a relationship should be and my reality about how a relationship is,- is two very different things 🥀.

My imagination about how a relationship should be and my reality about how a relationship is,- is two very different things 🥀. So that’s why I have chosen to not date for awhile,- I need to resett my self, my mind, my soul, my heart before I maybe start dating again 😊. And I’m very relaxed with my decision about not dating 😊.

#dating #relationship #relaxed #decision #mychoice #resettmyself #experiences #differences #imagenation #thougths #feelings #choices

She did “design” it, I made it 😊👗🧶

Hi ❣ It’s so nice to see you,- like always 😊 I hope all is fine with you 🧡

Like some of you know I like to knit,- and I have actually knit since I was 12 years old. And I did knit the first baby clothes to my children too. Their first clothes they used from the hospital and home 🤱.

I have knit a lots of different clothes to my children during the years when they was younger. But when they became older “mammi’s” knit clothes was not so popular for a while. Which was okay for me, I understood that 😊.

But when they became young adults I asked again if they wanted or needed some knit clothes. My oldest son wanted some different sweaters, my middle son didn’t want to much, and not my daughter either, before recently 😊.

I have actually asked her a couple of time if she wanted to draw something she wanted me to knit for her, because she is both creative and she draw very good. ( Im probably not very natural- of course , I think her drawings are good 🥰). But the interest has not been to big before she did see some knit clothes on a social media channel 🧶. Then she asked me if I could knit something for her, – and of course I wanted 🥰.

So she did made me a drawing over what she wanted me to knit, we bought the yarn together so she got the colours she wanted, and she moved out….and I forgot to take good to measure how far, wide and so on by her before she moved out 😳.

So I have actually tried my very best to knit “by my head” as well and asked her during the knit “process” how long and so on.

I need to say the results was not to bad at all,- and she was quite happy too 🥰. And I liked it too. I hope she will ask me again to do something like this for and to her😊.

My daughter in her new knit clothes- “designed” by her, and made by me 🧶

Not to bad at all 🥰. I know it was not the most “complicated” clothes to knit, but I’m a bit proud over the result, – and it suits my daughter so perfect 🥰.

My daughter’s drawing, and that’s what I knot this clothes from- nothing more 🧶

I also made her a tights too. Design by me and made by me. I have actually knit 6 different tights this winter. Two to a friend, three to my self and one to my daughter 🧶. They are so nice to use during the cold winter- time. Soft, warm and comfortable.

So when she visited me this weekend she got a different things and stuffs with her in her back- bag to her apartment 😊. Some knit clothes and some homemade food as well 😊. And of course it was incredible great to see her again and give her some good hugs as well 😊.

I was very excited how her skirt and top would suit her, special because I haven’t very much else to knit from and by then a drawing and my mind. But we are both very happy with the finish product. Good teamwork 😊.

It has been a very nice, relaxing and cozy weekend with some “luxury” for my self, and incredibly nice visit from my daughter 🥰.

I hope your weekend has brought you some happiness and joy too 🧡.

I wish you a great day or evening wherever in the world you are 🧡. Thank you so much for using your time and dropping by my blog today 🧡

See you soon 😊

My daughter in her new knit clothes- skirt, top- “designed” by my daughter, and a tights “designed” by me – and it all made by me 😊🧶.

My daughter asked me if I could knit some clothes to her 🧶,- and I asked her if she could draw to me what she wanted me to make 😊. So more and less with just a drawing and my mind I made a nice summer outfit to her 🥰. Good teamwork by daughter and mammi with a good result too 😊.

#teamwork #motheranddaugther #mydaugther #knitting #create #creative #inspiration #imagenation #knit #homemadedesign #oneofakind #drawing #summeroutfit #madewithlove