Dear Diary 🍷🍲
Im a bit tired of “running to dates ” now,- it has been more date than I have told you about,- and normally the dates it’s not “going anyway”. I mean- it will not be a further acquaintances or more meetings,- and I dont mean sex….and to be honest- its normally me that don’t see the point to continue meeting. Why use me or his time when I know “this” will never be a relationship, a boyfriend.
So I was not top- motivated for this lunch-date today. And also did made a decision- Im going to take a break from Tinder and dating for a while after this date.
The swedish man seems to be nice,- but he is living in Sweden and have a holiday-home in Spain,- and I got a feeling that we are “looking” for different things. Im looking for a boyfriend, he is looking for a “holiday-fling “.
Its nothing wrong about that- but I don’t want to have it or be a “holiday-fling”.
Did dressed up and showed up
I did dressed up, and I did show up. We did meet at the Benalmadena Marina, a very nice marina in the area. The plan was to eat at an Italian Restaurant, a very nice place with very good italian food🍕🍲🍷,- but that place was empty, closed down😐
We did find an other nice restaurant, the food was fine. The lunch was nice, the time went fast and the conversations went easily. But- he is not “the man” for me. Im never going to fall for him, and I dont want him to touch my soft legs😉
Emma, my daugther- I did show her a photo of him before I did went on the date with him- and she ment I was “out of his league”- hehehe- nice of her- and at least I did felt a bit better😅
So to the end,- that means- he is not “worthy” the “removing-work “, shaving “the fur” on my legs the next days😅. And thats good- because its going to rain the next days, so maybe I need to be warm on my “feet” a bit longer 😉
I didnt take many photos from the date- that did feel a bit rude to sit there with my mobile and focus on photos 😊
Dating “on hold”
Im “putting” Tinder and dating “on hold ” for a while now. Im not going to use much energy on this at the moment- insted I will use my energy in other areas in my life- thst feels a bit more important at the moment 😊
Its not very much to “choose” from at Tinder rather. Thats not Tinder’s mistake- its the people and theier different profiles. Many men don’t give a very good “first impression ” with theier profiles. They have some photos, that doesn’t tell to much about them ( or maybe the photo tells to much?😄). They dont have any text, not very much information at all.
I did think that a “profile” should give a kind of “first impression ” , a impression “to want to get to know this person “. But maybe I did misunderstand?😊🤔
Or maybe its actually no boyfriend for me “out there ” at all? Out there in “the world”…..😔
Why do I still think about Jeff? 🤔🙂
And- Jeff is still “jumping” into my mind now and then, and still I get this nice butterflies in my stomach when Im thinking about him 🦋. I still smile when I think about the time we did spent together last summer ☀️and I still have a good feeling inside my heart when Im thinking about him💛…..and some of my friends mean he dont deserve that ( my butterflies) or me, or my thoughts or energy at all- and maybe they are correct?🤔
But,- why is “something” inside my- something I cant explain- “tell me” that he is interested in me….at the same time- he didn’t actually show me very much interest when he was here in Spain in January- so why this strange feelings?🤔
I don’t feel sad about it, this in January, I was a bit disappointed a couple of days, but then the “disappointment” went away.
Im not texting him any more, I think the last text I did send him was in the middle of February. Im not thinking about him every day; but when I do- its feels like I still miss him in a way. He does something “strange” with my heart😊💛
And today ( after the date) I did got a text from him where he told me he was thinking about me, and that in the end of May he was going to Miami and are going to apply for his Spanish Visa. This Visa is a prove that he can live in Spain, not just be on holiday for a couple of months every year.
I dont know when he is coming back to Spain, and I didnt ask him today rather.
We see whats happen- maybe I see him again, maybe not. I actually dont know- time will show😊- but he did “touch” something in my heart.
Maybe thats why I m a bit “difficult” to date? Or to find me a date, a boyfriend?😊🤔😅
Time will show⏳💛