Sometimes the world is just to small πŸ˜―πŸ™„

Hi ❣ it’s so nice to see you,- like always 😊 I hope all is fine with you 🧑

I’m not to fine today πŸ™„. Sometimes the world is just to small πŸ™„.

“Someone” contacted me today,- and it felt not good or okay at all. This “someone” I think maybe you know who it was. I think I’m going to a) continue call it “the bump” from now, and b) not write to much more about “the bump”, just a tiny bit so I can in my own way, try to “relieve” “the bump” as best as I can from my life.

I’m not worried, yet, I just feel and felt a bit sick 😳.

“The bump” was in “the area” and wanted to meet me for a coffee and with smiley- faces 😳. I did got an email this morning- after peaceful silent for some years. I dont drink coffee, and I have no reasons to meet “the bump” again.

And I don’t think “the bump” actually understand what “the bump” did to me and my life, and how that relation affected me and my life in a negative way and direction.

And I got this really bad feeling again that I’m just a big failure in every area in life- special in the “relation- and emotional, and financial area”,- because “the bump” was a close connected to that part of my life some years ago, as you know, and “the bump” broke me so down. Emotional, mental, physical and materialistic / financial.

“The bump” I think miss a couple of “magic” words and understandings in the life, like for example the word “self- knowledge”πŸ™„. I don’t think “the bump” have any understanding for that word….and a couple of more.

Why, for any reason in the world, why should I want to meet “the bump” again? Don’t “the bump” see or understand that at all? 😳 Dont “the bump” remember anything at all? I haven’t any reasons at all to want to see or meet “the bump” again, at the same time I have- but not for any good reasons.

I just sat down for one hour this morning, and didnt do a thing, just felt like an big ice- statue, at the same time like I got the coldest shower in the world with ice- cubes felt up with memories from “the past” 😳.

Lucky for me,- Natasja did send me a text, and “woke me up”. She didn’t know about the email, she just send me a text “How are you?” And then something in a way loosened in me. I got the possibility to put some words about how I was,- and actually manage to start my day 😊. And I did started my day,- and I’m a bit proud too, that I did manage this day without feeling to much “bumpy” and like an ice- statue. Just like an a lump of jelly for a few hours. Little by little the day got a bit “normal” and I got distance to “the bump”. I went to work, I did my job- even good too, and feel a bit like it all has been a bad dream, a kind of a nightmare.


I did choose to not answer “the bump”. Why should I answer? I have not a good word to say to “the bump”,- and then it’s better to just say nothing.

Today the world felt a bit small,- at least my world. I felt a bit like I was going to be “choked”. I felt I couldn’t breath for a while. It’s no room for “the bump” and me in the same world, not ” in my world, and my life”.

It’s like the past never goes away- let me go, let me rest, let me “get back on business “. It’s knocking on the door when I least expect it, and in situations I haven’t thought about 😳.

The last 6- 8 years has been so fucking shit hard, challenging and difficult,- but at least in their own way- the 6 last years has at least been peaceful. Maybe difficult to understand. But yes, they has been very peaceful even different challenginges has “popped up”….to much “popping up”.

Sexy undertΓΈy

But yes I’m a bit proud too today,- I didn’t answer. I went to my job, I did my work, I didn’t cry, not one single tear, and I even was available to work 2, 5 extra hours this evening in my home with my extra job 😊. I haven’t eat to much today, my stomach is still a bit “strange”. But I still stand on my feet,- even I felt pretty small this morning,- I did manage the day 😊.

My eyes are normally blue, but for some reason I don’t know, they changed to grey/green when I’m not feeling to good emotional, like today. They can even be black, but then I’m pretty angry- and most of the time I’m not that πŸ₯°. And you know,- “the eyes are the mirror of the soul” ,- so maybe that’s why they are changing colour? The saying means a bit more then a color- change I think,- at least for me,- it means a bit more then just a change of colours in the eyes 😊. I think I’m going to “research” why one day, why my eyes are changing colour, – but not today 😊.

Does your colour on your eyes changes in different emotional situations?

Anyway,- I hope your day has been a bit better then mine 😊.

I wish you a great day or evening wherever in the world you are 🧑. Thank you so much for dropping by my blog today too 🧑.

I did my best to day,- even the world felt pretty small this morning 😊. My eyes are normally blue,- but today,- for some reason they change to grey/ green 😳. They do that sometimes when emotional “bumps” shows up in my life πŸ™„. But it’s a saying like “The eyes are the mirror of the soul”,- and my soul has been a bit “down” today, a bit “grey” 🧑.