Hi❣ It’s so nice to see you,- like always 😊 I hope all is fine with you 🧡
When I became a #mammi there was no “instruction manual” how to do this “mammi- thing” 🙄. How to became a mammi was not very difficult at all,- we all know how that’s done 😉. But to be a mammi? A good mammi? A mammi that can #raise up #children wisely? A mammi that feels “safe and secure”?
There was no “#instructionmanual” for that. Not with the first child, not with the second one and either not with the third one 💚. So I did try just to do my best,- with the knowledge I had from my mammi and my parents, to raise my two sons and my daughter , and “squeezed” together with a bit how it “all” felt #correct for me as a mammi to raise them too 😊.
It’s was not “everything” I was I agree with how I was raised by my parents- so some of that I didn’t use when I did raise my three children. And there was a lot I agreed with from how my parents did raise me – and I have use much of that when I did raise my children 😊. But ,- I was a girl,- so how to raise two sons on my own? The daughter felt a bit easier, – both because I’m a female my self,- but also ….. I had a tiny bit “#experiences” after trying my best to raise my two sons first before my daughter did “entered” the world 😊. But to be honest, – I actually did never think to much about that one “how to raise two sons as a single mammi”. For me it was not to much difference between raising my sons or my daughter, – in general. I did raise my #children.
I was also more and less alone with raising this three sweet and, for me, unique children 😊. Because during a month they spent in general 26 days with me, and the rest with their dad. So all in all,- they was my responsibility more and less closely 80- 100 % 😊. And the children was also just in age 8 year, 5 year and 2 year when I was divorced from their dad.
Most of us that are parents also knows that a child is not born with a “instruction manual” either,- and if you have more then one child, you know your children can be very different and have different personalities, and also be raised both similar at the same time individual can be a challenge. Their individual needs also to be “seen” as well as “learned”, and also be teaching how to raise 😊.
I’m not sure if I have raised my children “correctly”,- what I do know is that I tried to do my best with the “knowledge” I had,- and I also know that my children are raised with unconditional love from me,- and they know I love them higher than any word can describe ❤.
But how to raise two sons on your own? And a daughter too? How to learn them about relationship between a woman and a man when you are a single mammi your self? And they are not growing up in a relationship between two adults? How to learn my boys, my sons to treat a woman? And how to learn my daughter how to treat a man, a boyfriend?
That one hasn’t been very easy. But I also did tried my very best in this area,- and did try to teach them how to treat people around them, around me. I did use the famous motto “the way you want to be treated is the way you should treat the people around you too”. Hopefully they will remember this for the rest of their life. And hopefully they also will live by it as best as they can too 😊.
And then it was those “normal” things like learn to eat on their own, get dressed, brush the teeth, learn to jump into the shower, bicycling, reading, listen ect.ect,- the list is long, as parents in general know 😊. But we did manage that once,- little by little, step by step 💛.
And then it was to learn “to believe in them self” ❤. That they are more than good enough,- and that they are perfect the way they are, and we are all good in different areas in life 💚. That one was easy to do at home, but a bit more difficult “out there in the world” with so many different arenas of influence such as friends, family, acquaintances, various social media, interests and hobbies, the school. Self-esteem, and belief in oneself could quickly disappear in the “ocean” of other influences. And that one was not always easy to build “up and back” again at home.
And they also did had a very tired mammi too sometimes. A mammi that had sometimes three different jobs that was necessary to have and to manage to do for both be able to pay for the different expenses in a daily family life, and also for trying to do “the best of it” so my children shouldn’t be “left out” or miss to much in this material world. So they shouldn’t be to “different” just because they was growing up with just a mammi. And a tired mammi can take some “short cutes” now and then when it comes to raising a child.
I have done my mistakes as a mammi and with raising my children. Not to many, I hope,- but there are some. I’m, unfortunately, not “the perfect mammi” at all. I’m not eve sure if I’m a good mammi. All I know is that those three people are the most beautiful I know ❤. And those three people means more for me then anything else in my life ❤. It was this “missing instruction manual” how to be a good mammi, and how to raise my children,- I really should had one of that when I did raise them,- but okay,- in some way it became “people” of my children too 😊.
Now when my children are young adults and more and less don’t live with me any longer I can see a bit about their growing up in the distance, and seeing a “little here and there” that I should have done things a little differently. I don’t think it’s very much I can do with that now,- except from have “a chat and two” with them about a couple of things,- and maybe show them a bit about “the cooking” 😊.
My biggest mistake was “the bump”. There is no doubt about that one 😔. And that one feels very selfish and very unnecessary. But I can’t “go back in time” either, – but I know that the relationship with “the bump” was a very big failure in many areas, also when it comes to “raising my children”. They didn’t actually learn to much good from that one, or having a mammi that just “hide in the corner” for some years.
Hopefully will they have learn that that’s NOT the way a healthy relationship is 🧡. But I’m not sure, – because that’s the relationship they had been living “closest to” and they do remember best 😔. That’s the relationship they have been seeing and watching. And it was really not the best “teaching area ” when it comes to how to have a loving relationship to another person.
If I had the “instruction manual” when I became a mammi I should wish it stood “be careful with having a living together partner”, a boyfriend is fine,- but think three times or even more before moving together with someone, – special when the kids are in the teenagers. That one should really had stood in “the non existent instruction manual” for how to be a mammi,- a good and safe mammi for my children.
I should also hope it had stood,- teach your children a bit more about saving money (well this one was a bit difficult to teach them because it was not very much to put some savings of from 😊), and my daughter is actually very good to use and save money 😊. I should wish I had teach them a bit more how to cook and make food. But at the same time,- it was difficult to “catch” their interest for making food. Even they needed to make dinner at home a couple of times during the week.
I know they all 3 are good in their work, and I know all 3 of them are more and less good to clean up, wash up and have it not to messy in their home 😊. I know all 3 can say Thank you and mean it,- and they are there for both their friends and family 😊. I know one prefer gaming on the computer more then the other two, and one prefer football more than the other two, and one prefer painting more then the other two 😊. And then I also know there are some more differences between them too, in different ways and areas, also a couple of “habits” I’m not to happy with,- but I’m just the mammi 😅. – and all in all- it is probably a combination between their personality and how I did raise them, and what they have been learning in life on their own 😊.
What I can say,- all in all,- imagine how it is to raise three children on your own without to much “instruction manual” ? It’s actually not very easy, so the results for me, are actually not to bad at all- in this raising- process, – even it, of course, also probably could have been done better too 🧡. And hopefully they also will get rid of some habits I don’t like to much,- step by step, little by little as more as they are growing up and see “the world” with “new eyes” as older they get 😊.
To the end,- to be honest, – I’m actually not sure if I should wish there was a “instruction manual” for being a mammi,- because for being a mammi has also teach me so incredibly much about myself, the life and about living,- a lots of more things and stuff too I probably never had learn if there was an perfect “instruction manual” 😊 ❤.
And another tiny little thing,- there are actually made a lots of different “instructions manual” for being a good parent, – BUT,- every child is, as well as every parents is different, and a “instruction manual” will never be totally complete for you as parent or for your child or children’s different personalities 😊. So,- when all comes to all,- one more time 😉,- there will probably be impossible to create a totally “instruction manual” for being a mammi and daddy just because of all the great differences there are as a mammi, daddy and the children 😊.
What do you think, – should there been a “perfect and complete ” “instruction manual” for how to be a mammi and daddy? Should you,- when it all comes to all,- wish you knew exactly what to do in every tiny situation about how to be a mammi or daddy for your child or children? 😊
For me,- I can say it’s just a couple of things I should wish I did knew infront as a mammi, and how to handle those situations, – but in general, – it didn’t went to bad either 💛. Actually 😊,- and it’s actually just my kids that are the correct once to have any opinions about me as a mammi 🧡. Because I’m their mammi, and no one else 😊.
I wish you a great day or evening wherever in the world you are 🧡. Thank you so much for dropping by my blog today too 🧡.
See you soon 😊.
#mammi #raisingup #growingup #parent #children #sons #daugther #singlemammi #nomanual #joy #happiness #different #differences #challenge #wrong #correct #unconditionallove ❤