Hi ❣ It’s so nice to see you,- like always 😊 I hope all is fine with you 🧡.
Bullying other people can be done in different ways, with both silence and exclusion, or ugly words and even punches and kicks. Both are bullying, just done in different ways. Both of them hurt the victim of bullying,- badly,- maybe for life.
Why is someone being bullied? Why do other bullies become? I don’t have the right answer. I can only assume.
Bullying is happening all over the world, and both children and adults are being bullied. There are also children who bully, and there are adults who bully. There is bullying at school, there is bullying at work, and in different private areas too.
Who are the victims of the bullying? What makes someone vulnerable to bullying while others get away? Who are the bullies? What causes some to bully others? Is it envy? Insecurity? Words and conversations the bully has heard from the adults from home around the dinner table?
I don’t have the facet or the answers. What I do know is that being subjected to bullying for a long time does something to a human mind, its thoughts about its self, its intrinsic value, and it’s not positive.
What I suppose may be the reason why others are bullied is insecurity, envy, and the difficulty of themselves, maybe different challenges in their home, with their parents? I don’t know, I can only assume.
What I do know is that being bullied destroys. It destroys self-esteem, self-confidence, belief in oneself, belief in others. Bullying can even kill. And have killed many young and adult hearts as well as lifes. But in some few cases being bullied can make a person incredibly strong too. If they did survived the years of bullying.
I don’t have many experiences of being bullied or bullied myself – but I know how difficult it can be to feel alone, to feel failure and to not fit in. It is not a good experience. It’s not the same as being bullied for years, but I can recognize the feeling a bully victim experiences and has. I write recognizing, because I don’t really know how unbelievably bad it is to be banned, kept outside the “group of friends” with silence, or exposed to hurtful words. I just can have an imagination about it, and the awful feelings its gives the one who experiences this.
I don’t know where a bully comes from. I also don’t know why anyone is being bullied. I know that we do not like everyone, that we do not fit well with everyone. We’re all different, but that’s not reason enough to bully. But is seems to be more coincidence who becomes a bully victim, it is not quite so random who becomes a bully. Something to think about.
Some people I like better than others, and so it is for all of us. That’s the reality! But it gives no reason to bully, it gives reason to behave with respect and acceptance for the inequalities. Be polite and attentive. Neither more nor less.
I know about a young girl, she turns 19 this summer. For 13 years, all the years she attended elementary school, junior high and high school, she has been kept out of the group of friends. In fact, she doesn’t have a single good friend. She has never been met with ugly words or punches, but she has been met with silence and austerity, lack of invitations to festivities and company.
She has even invited “friends” to parties and celebration in her home, even with various entertainment. There have been movie nights and game nights in their garage ceiling. Her mother has helped her make parties and fun friends evenings. Her mother has done everything in her power to prevent her daughter from being lonely, being held outside, being shut up, being met with silence. Her mother has recorded the graduation with teachers at the school, and with parents. Her mum has also tried not to “interfere” and see if it helped.
Her mom has arranged more for her daughter than I ever did for my 3 kids together. Just to help her daughter “on her way” to “create” some kind of friendship with others children, and later, teenagers.
I admire her mom for her endeavor, and I admire her daughter who has not “puked out” just because of exclusion and silence from “friends” for 13 years.
And the “friends” has also “shown up” at the different events she and her mammi has created, but not for spending time with her,- just to have a place to be for a while. Have fun for a while, just not with her.
There is nothing “wrong” with this young girl at all. She is smart, school-savvy, she does not have a “weird” look, rather terse, she is a beautiful girl. She has various interests and hobbies – fortunately, and she is engaged in her interests and hobbies too. She has managed to get her driverlince, and she got a little extra job at a gas station too. She is a silent, young girl, but whom hasn’t been that after 13 years with “silent” from “friends”. She doesn’t take up very much place in a room, like some has a habit to do,- but that’s no reason to keep her “outside”.
No matter how hard I try, I can’t find a single good reason for this young girl to be bullied and extorted, and met with silence.
I’m impressed with her, her courage.
And her courage really came to light last Sunday. All her school friends have had different parties and events this spring to celebrate that 13 years of schooling are now over. Parties and events that she has not been invited to. She even asks about joining, being allowed to participate, and being met with silence, met with lies and met with no answers, but she has seen the various events through various social media channels, which a spectator. For some reason, she was still invited to champagne, breakfast on Sunday, May 17th. And she showed up! I had never shown up – simply because I hadn’t dared to even sit down to hear about yesterday’s fun party that I wasn’t invited to, and also because of the feeling of being excluded all the time, during so many years.
This is the very, very short version,- 13 years is a long time. And I could probably have told you so much more, and written down so many examples.
Now, finally, a new chapter in her life begins, a new opportunity to make friends. In the Autumn this year she starts at university, in a place where no one knows her. Something that gives her the opportunity for a fresh, new start – and the opportunity to “escape” from all those who, for one or the other strange reasons, have kept her banned from the group of friends, met her with silence.
I’m not sure how I have handle this, 13 years with trying to create friendship, trying to get some friends,- but just be met with silence. But like she says, – you actually and unfortunately, get use to it. That’s the sad thing, and at the same time,- this life experience she has got because of this exclusion has probably made her stronger in a way I don’t understand.
She will “survive”, and she will manage different challenges in life perfectly. She have strong parents behind her back too. But,- unfortunately there are so many children, teenagers and adults that who can’t manage the different challenges that bullying makes, and don’t survive.
I don’t know why some is being bullied and others become a bully. But bullying damages, destroys. I also do not know how we can prevent anyone from being bullied and avoid creating bullies.
We are all created different, we are all different, we all will be accepted for who we are. So why just accept the difference instead? Easy to say, easy to write,- not always easy to live by,- but it should be easy to treat each with politeness and respect, and accept for the difference between us. And not bullied anyone because of the differences.
This is just one girl who has been met with silence and exclusion, but there are so many children, teenagers and adults that experience bullying every day. Why? What can we do to stop it?
Like I did mention,- I don’t have the answers. The only thing I can do is to meet people with politeness and respect, and I try my very best to do that too,- even its not easy to meet all with politeness and respect. Special not a bully, and a couple of more.
My thoughts today goes to all the people/ victims who has “survive” to be bullied in some or and other way. You all are incredibly strong 🧡. Be proud of your self 🧡. And my thoughts goes to all that have lost someone because of bullying. I have no words to describe their loss. Words become few and poor. 😔 🧡. I just can send you all my love 🧡.
I wish you a great day or evening wherever in the world you are 🧡 . Be nice to each other 🧡. Thank you so much for dropping by my blog today too 🧡
See you soon 😊.
Today, my thoughts go to those who are somehow bullied, either by being excluded, or being met with hurtful words and kicks. There are children, teenagers and adults who meet with bullying of some kind every day. I admire their courage to meet bullies every day at school, work or private. Today, my thoughts also go to those who have lost loved ones because of what bullying does with another person’s self-esteem. I have no words to describe their loss 🧡.
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