I’m not sure if I want to put myself in that situation one more time … 🥀🌼🥂

Hi ❣ It’s so nice to see you,- like always 😊 I hope all is fine with you during this time we all are going through,- together 🧡

Like I mention to you,- I have open my Tinder app again after 6 months “on hold”, or “non show profile”. But I have doubts about this. Not because it’s Tinder,- I think there’s “funny stuff” in all the dating apps that exist,- but because I’m actually not sure if I want to put myself in a relationship position again, or if I’m even ready to put myself in that situation, a relationship situation 🤔.

I have been thinking a bit about my own experiences with and from, special when it comes to long term relationships,- and I don’t think I want to have it like that one more time. Because in general it’s actually not the best experiences I have in my life, or memories, or feelings….this relationship- thing. It has actually been incredibly exhausting, and it cost far too much to be in a relationship….at least for me.

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But I know many relationship aren’t like that, like my experiences,- and I also have and had my own imagination and illusion about how I thought, and in way still think, a good relationship for me could and should be. It has just not been like that 🙄.

In my mind it’s about the unconditional love, but for some strange reason this love is just there in the beginning of a relationship, and little by little it disappears, and changes to a very conditional love. A change like “don’t do that, do this”,”don’t wear that clothes, wear this”,” don’t be like that, be like this”, “don’t have that opinion, have this” and so on.

In my mind a relationship it’s also about that the partners should be there for each other, support each, take a bit care of each other, respect the differences between each other,- and not try to change the person you actually fall in love with. And it is also about to actually feel that you are loved by your partner. And I have to admit that I’m not quite sure how it feels, or is experienced – to be loved by one’s partner. And it is actually not even sure I have loved my partner either. Maybe it was some other feelings involved instead? 🤔

In my mind it’s also about bringing out the best from each, for and to each other. And in my mind “each other” is “the community” a relationship is between to people that’s falls in love and are in love, and are in a relation to each other 💞. It’s about give and get, get and give.

But my experiences and my reality about relationships was a bit different then I did have in my mind, imagination and illusion 😏.

https://m.soundcloud.com/hmmpodden

So,- probably, or maybe, my imagination and illusion about how a relationship should be is not “correct”? The reality is different? Maybe I have been living in a kind of a “fantasy- world” when it comes to my “expectations” about how a relationship should be ?

Or maybe it is me? Maybe I’m a difficult person and partner to be together with, and live together with? And I don’t bring out the best from a partner, instead more and less the opposite?

2019

My personal and private experiences when it comes to a relationship is different then my imagination and illusion,- like I just mention. My experiences are that men wants to be taken care of, but not take care off. Men did fall in love with something they for some reason want to change. And my experience is that a man’s needs comes first,- if it’s food, clothes, what to watch at the Television, priority for workout, job, goals, dreams, – yes, more and less everything is more important for him to do, and my “job” has been to adapt to this and him. My “things” isn’t a priority.

And to be honest, unfortunately, that exactly what I have done to. Be the “correct” partner,- and in general not actually priority my “things” either. And maybe one of my mistakes when it comes to a relationship is here? That I do my best to “satisfy” and “forget” my own “needs”, dreams and goals. And I know why I do it,- because if not it has been so much conflicts, arguing and fighting, and I don’t like that very much.

For some strange reason also the economy has been changed when I have been living together with a partner. In my mind it’s should be a bit more money left when there was two incomes, two salaries, and the different expenses was paid, but it has actually been less money left. And I’m not sure how that happen 🤔.

http://www.garrods.net

What actually really made me think about if I want to put myself in this relationship situation again was an very innocent comment from a fling I had two meetings with before Spain was quarantined and with a curfew.  I know it was humorous meant, but it set my mind in relation to what I want in and of a love relationship.

He was going to have a holiday and did ask me if he could spend his holiday in my home,- and if I could be his hostess and waitress, and serve him freshly squeezed fruit juice every day, bring grapes and food, and so on. I know it was a joke,- but I did started to think about what I don’t want in a relationship one more time.

I felt I got my earlier long term relationships threw in my head – and thought “No, I won’t. Not one more time”. And then I realized that I’m actually not sure I’m ready for a long term relationship. My earlier experiences are obviously still to much in my mind and feelings.

My memories are most felt up with tiredness, and actually that,- this feeling that I was a hostess and waitress in the long term relationship I had been in during the last 26 years. I in away did loose myself in the relationship.

It’s actually just “just” two long term relationship during this period that has given me this feeling,- but it’s because of this ( short version) “hostess, waitress and actually not been loved for who Im” that has made me not wanted go into a long term relationship again. I’m actually afraid for losing myself, and I’m worried to have the same not to good experiences again.

But like I mention,- it is not certain it is the men I had a long-standing relationship with their fault that the relationship felt that way for me. Maybe, and probably, I was too remiss and not too good at telling them about things I did not like so much in the relationship? In away didn’t “stood up” for myself in the relationship. Instead I let myself stay in the role of “the hostess and waitress” because it created minor conflicts. It was easier to stay in that role and and avoid too many loud-voiced conflicts that made me feel even smaller then I already did felt.

So,- I m not sure if I’m actually ready for a long term relationship, and I’m not sure if I want to put myself in the same situation again as I has been in when it comes to a relationship. And,- I actually don’t even need to put myself into that situation either,- if I don’t want to 😊. It’s my choice 😊.

I’m actually fine with my situation as it is at the moment. At the same time I can admit that I do miss my imagination and illusion I have in my mind about how I did believe and thought a relationship and a “community” with a partner should be.

I see what’s happen in the future, and for how many days I’m going to use the Tinder app. To be honest,- I don’t think I’m going to use it for so many more days 😊. I think I probably should feel a bit more ready then I do at the moment,- and not feel to much about what I actually do miss, or my imagination and illusion, about a relationship 😊.

That was just some of my personal thoughts and private experiences around and about relationship,- and I know a lost of people and couples have much better and more positive experiences then me in this area. Something that makes me still believe in love between two partners, – as is for me is a relation between a woman and a man 😊. Then it’s just for me to see if or when I’m going to take the chance to put myself in that relationship situation again. Who knows, – maybe I even did learn a bit about myself and my relation to a relationship with just writing this text 😊.

I wish you a great day or evening wherever in the world you are 🧡. Thank you so much for dropping by my blog today too 🧡

I have my own imagination and illusion about how I think and thought a relationship for me should be,- but the reality and my experience has been a bit different from that 😊. But I can choose if I want to put myself in that situation again or not,- and to have that choice doesn’t feel so bad 🥀,- even I still have a tiny little wish for a relationship one day there in the future 🧡.

#imagenation #illusion #changes #challenges #relations #relationship #love #unconditionallove #Norwegian #livinginspain #lifeis #myblog #mylife #mypost #lifeexperiences #feelings #choices #positivefocus 💚

Phase 1 in Spain ☀️😷

Hi ❣ It’s so nice to see you,- like always 😊 I hope all is fine with you during this time we all are going through,- together 🧡

It’s different “rules” and restrictions in different countries, and more and less every country in the world is handling the corona- situation differently. Some close down all the border, some have more and less a kind of totally quarantine and curfew with just a very few exceptions, other countries have a just different restrictions to follow, but not with to many consequences if someone “break” the restrictions, and so on.

In Spain we got an more and less total quarantine and curfew for the whole country from the 14. March 2020, with just a very few execeptions to leave our homes. And two months later, 14. May things got a bit better, little by little, step by step. The reopening of Spain will happen in 4 stages, and we are now started on phase 1. Something that mean the “re-opening” of our society as well as the country has slowly started, step by step.

To be in phase 1 in Spain means that means that small shops can open, (small customs stores like perfumery ect.) but with strict security measures.  Restaurants and bars can open outside dining, for serve food and drinks outside, but only use 30% of the original capacity (and there is no serving inside).

Hotels and accommodations can open, but they cannot open the public areas they have and dispose of to their guests.  They must also have a benefit plan for the elderly over 65 years.

Churches and other religious gatherings can open, but only 1/3 of the public capacity can be used.

https://m.soundcloud.com/hmmpodden

Being in Phase 1 here in Spain also means that undue restrictions on professional athletes have been reduced.  And that there is the possibility of contact between people who do not belong to vulnerable or at risk groups.  At the same time, restrictions are being set and established for the elderly and people in risk groups.

It is also mandatory to use mouthcovers in public places for anyone over 5 years of age and where it is not possible to keep 2 meters distance.  Failure to comply with this injunction will result in fines, andfines are provided by the police and authorities.  Well, – a 5 year old doesn’t get a fine, but the adults and those in charge.  All public transport such as taxis, buses, trains, (and planes) are also mandated by mouthcovers, but not many planes are currently flying at the moment.

The public figures in Spain are about 28,000 deaths due to coronavirus and Covid19.  I write the public figures!  What I have learned is that there is not a single government that is 100% honest about anything!  It is simply nothing new that a government, regardless of country, does not tell the whole truth, hides parts of the truth, adorns the truth a little and delivers some nice lies, and forties as well.  And it applies to all governments in all the countries in the world,- it is only done in different ways and at different levels. It’s not any different here in Spain, or Norway what that matters. So,- yes the public figures are about 28.000 deaths due to coronavirus and Covid19 here in Spain. That’s why we have been living with quarantine and curfew, and why the country and society slowly open up again during 4 phases.

For me phase 1 means that I can go to the food store without being afraid for the police, and actually shop more and less what I want, and not just the necessary food for the living, but also go to the stor for just shopping some snacks now 😊. And I’m using my mouth cover too 😷.

It also means that I can invite my children and my friends to my home, or meet them on a bar or restaurant if I want. I don’t think I’m going to have any guests from Norway as my family or friends for a while, probably not this year at all. Maybe I’m lucky and get a visit from one or two friends that’s lives in Norway during the Autumn, but I’m not sure. If we haven’t had this corona- situation I had probably already had holiday guests over from Norway now ☀️.

My oldest son and his friend has visited me, and my daughter and her boyfriend too. Except from that I have been living very quiet, also in phase 1. I go to the food store and do my shopping once a week, not very much more then that at the moment 😷.

I can meet my friends now,- but to be honest this week I need to save the money I have left to food, before I get my salary next week. I can’t use any money on a cup of coffee or a glass of coca cola or a glass of wine on a bar or restaurant now. But next week I can,- and then I see what I do. At the moment I’m actually fine with just knowing I have the possibility,- and I use my “freedom” to nice walks in my area instead 😊.

http://www.garrods.net

About this “money- issue” I’m not the only one that needs to wait a bit before visiting a restaurant or a bar for a cup of coffee or a glass of wine. That’s just the way it is. There are after-effects and “ripples” of quarantine and curfew, cuts in wages, and many who have lost their jobs. And to buy a cup of coffee or a glass of wine you actually need to have some money to buy it for.

I’m fine with phase 1 here in South of Spain,- even I haven’t use this “new” possibility of “freedom” very much yet, I like to just know they are there, that the possibilities are there now,- and that’s a kind of “freedom” too 😊.

I wish you a great day or evening wherever in the world you are 🧡. Thank you so much for dropping by my blog today too 🧡.

See you soon 😊

We are in phase 1 in South of Spain now, something that means a bit more “freedom” 😷. But we are required to use mouth cover in different situations, especially in different public areas.  I am good at using my mouth cover, even though I haven’t used much of my new “freedom” yet 😊☀️.

#freedom #Norwegian #livinginspain #lifeis #myblog #mylife #mypost #lifeexperiences #changes #challenges #coronavirus #curfew #quarantine #lifeischanging #protection #differences #restrictions #mouthcover #phaseone #possibility #positivefocus 💚

The same situation and incident affect us differently 🥀 🌎 🌾

Hi ❣ It’s so nice to see you,- like always 😊 I hope all is fine with you during this time we all are going through,- together 🧡

It is a strange time we all are going through,- together. At the same time we go through this time so differently. In one or an other way this corona- situation has affected us, but not necessarily in the same way.

For me the quarantine and curfew wasn’t to bad. I did live together with my oldest son and his friend most of the time, and I was able to meet both my son in the middle and my daughter as well. Not for a long time, but still for some minutes.

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The living together relationship with my oldest son and his friend last a bit longer then the plan was because of the quarantine and curfew. That was a bit hard for all of us, because we felt a bit we was “put on hold” in a living together relation we wasn’t prepared should last so long,- and we did have different goals before the quarantine and curfew happen. At the same time I can say I’m very grateful for this unexpected living together situation 😊. I’m grateful for I got the possibility to live together with my oldest son one more time 💙. And I also learned to get to know his friend in a different way then before. His friend is not to bad at all,- even he is the worst dish- washer I have meet 😅. But except from that,- I can really understand why my oldest son and his friend have the good friendship they have 😊.

My days in quarantine and curfew was filled up with my work, and after a while with workout too, and I did paint and knit a bit as well,- and I did sleep a lot. And Im for some reason still very tired.

http://www.garrods.net

I did in my own way “create” a tiny bit of an “imagination life” in my home under the quarantine and curfew. With that I mean,- I went to my “workout studio” in my bedroom, and to the “beauty saloon” in my bathroom. I went to my “cafe” in my kitchen and to the “cinema” in my livingroom. And I went to my work too, every day in “my job corner” in my livingroom,- and it all worked out for me in it’s own way 😊.

The two months with quarantine and curfew actually went fast. But I have been so incredibly tired during the quarantine and curfew, and felt at sleep on my sofa as well as in my bed. I have been sleeping a lot 😴. Much, much more then what I in general do, and I actually sleep a bit more then many in general do too, because I’m struggling a bit with something called exhaustion. So I can get tired very fast if it is “to much” around me, and then I need to sleep. Short version of my exhaustion.

Under the quarantine and curfew I didn’t feel very comfortable to go to the store, or go outside my from my home at all. Not because of worries for the virus, but because of worries for the police. I was very comfortable in my home, and I like to just stay home too.

What I did missed most under the quarantine and curfew was to be able to go to the store without this very uncomfortable feeling of doing something illegal, and also to meet my children and my friends when I wanted to meet them. Not necessarily to meet them in a cafe or restaurant, but just to be able to invite them to my home.

Under quarantine and curfew I did learn to appreciate the living together time I had with my oldest son as well as looking forward to the living together time I’m going to have together with my two youngest children from next month. I also did learn that as long as I have contact with my children I can be able to live on my own for a while. I could probably “survived” in a cabin fare away from people as long as I could be able to be in contact with my children, be able to pay my expenses, have food on the table, and my different hobbies and interests around me like watching movies, paint, knit, read and write. And also have a “chat up” with my friends 😊. So a cabin fare away from people is not a strange thought for me,- but I’m not sure if this cabin should be in Spain or Norway.

https://m.soundcloud.com/hmmpodden

Living in quarantine and with curfew had no negative psychological or mental affect on me in general. I had a good time in general in the quarantine and curfew. I’m actually struggling a bit more now when the quarantine and curfew is over, and we are in phase 1.

Changes happens in general in just a second, but to learn to live with the new changes can be a challenge and also take a bit more time then just a second to learn to live with them as well as know how to handle them.

For many people around in the world their life situations turned up side down in just one second during this corona- situation, but it will take a bit longer to learn to live with the different new changes, and, unfortunately, also challenges.

I have had two months in my own “bobble”, two months to sort out things in my mind and my thoughts. Well,- the “sort out” is actually not “sort out” at all 😅. But I have been thinking a lot during this two months. Two months to try to find a kind of solutions for my future, my dreams, wishes, hopes and goals. I don’t have any solution at the moment, because I’m in a strange way are waiting for something “more” and something more “unexpected” to happen. It’s like I have a kind of restlessness inside me, a restlessness I didn’t have when I was in quarantine and curfew. This uncomfortable restlessness has “showing up” the last days. And, yes,- it is a uncomfortable feeling, and I’m not sure why I feel that way,- but I’m “diving” into my self for trying to sort out why I have this uncomfortable restlessness inside me.

I know a lots of people around the world has lost their jobs, their home, their “security”. For me a safety net is to have a place to live, a home, a job and be able to pay my expenses. I have all this now, and Im incredibly Grateful for that ❤. But at the same time I have also been living without this safety net a couple of times during the lasts years. And that’s not a very good feeling at all. It’s actually very scary, special when you are alone and have children to support and take care of as well. I don’t think people who haven’t experienced this can imagine how scary it is to loose the “safety net” in their life, and also take care of, raising up and supporting their children at the same time. It’s not a very good feeling or situation.

My children has also been my safety net,- maybe ironic since it’s me that has taken care of them, but in their own way they have made me feel safe. And I’m losing that safety net now, slowly, because they are for real starting their own adults lifes. And that’s scares me,- in two different ways it’s scars me. First of all,- what kind of world are they, my children, going to face now when all and everything just became turned “up side down” from what we knew. And second,- I have not a clue how to just take care of myself. I’m not very good at that,- and I need to learn it,- and that’s scares me a bit too. Well,- to say I can’t take care of myself is a thrut with modification. Because I take care of myself,- I do eat and do my workout, I do take care of my health in different ways, and I take care of my skin and so on. I’m enjoying my time with my hobbies and I do my work as best as I can,- but at the same time,- it is a kind of “take care of myself” I’m not use to do, and I need to learn a bit about that one 😊.

The corona- situation has affected me as well as most of us, but not in the same way as for many others. We are all affected differently even it’s the same virus that’s “tumbling” around in our world and society.

I’m lucky and grateful ❤. I have my home, I have my jobs, okay,- my income has been cut a bit,- but still I have a salary and still I’m able to get “the wheels goes around”. I’m able to pay the rent and other expenses as well as have food on the table. Now at days that’s not a matter of course anymore for many people 😔. So in that way this new world situation hasn’t affected me in a negative way or direction. But it has affected my mind and thoughts, and also how to make plans for the future, my future.

For some reason I can’t explain, I’m not worried about the coronavirus, and to be sick, but I’m worried about all the different changes and challenges it gives and has given to so many people in the world as well as our life- and world situation. Changes and challenges are “on the way”, that’s for sure, but it’s not sure what kind of changes and challenges we can expect.

I know that when one door is closing a new door is open up. But I also know that we human, we people, me included, can have some struggling with open the new door as well as take a look at the new things that’s behind the new open door.

I needed, as well as many other, to change my plans and also the “road” to reach my goals, dreams and wishes.

I have made a 2,5 year plan and a 7,5 year plan with different goals I hope I will be able to reach them both. I don’t know what will happen, because as most of us know,- things can change in a second.

I have made up some thoughts about my work, my job, my hobbies as well as thoughts about relationships too,- and maybe even where I want to live later in my life 🏡.

The corona- situation and the corona- crisis is not the worst crisis I have been through in my life. This is a world wide situation, but still there are people that probably has been through much more personal and private crisis then this,- including me. And there will be people around the world that during this time will have their worst crisis in their life 😔. I think it is important to remember this,- and not judging anyone. Not judging anyone because this corona- situation is not the worst private and personal crisis someone has been through. Not judging anyone because the crisis they are going through are the worst they have experienced in their life. Not judging anyone because they are happy or sad. This situation has affected us so very differently and it’s important to remember that 💛.

At this point I can’t say how much this corona- situation, this new world situation has affected me or will affect me and my life. I don’t know. But I do know if has affected me, special when it comes to changing my plans in life, goals and wishes, as well as my mind and thoughts, in it’s own way. And I’m actually not looking forward to move back to the working- office in the end of June. The reason why, is very simple,- it will be a “time- thief” to travel to and back from work. A “time- thief” I don’t like. Because one thing is for sure for me,- I really like to work from my home 😊. It gives me another “time” 😊.

Hopefully this “tiredness” I have been struggling a bit with during this corona- time will slowly go over to a bit more energy, and I will have more energy to write more textes to my blog too 😊. And not just drop by with some thoughts about “this and that” now and then 😊.

I wish you a great day or evening wherever in the world you are 🧡. Thank you so much for dropping by my blog today too 🧡. And even it can seems that this corona- situation is a negative world situation I really hope the situation has brought you something good and positive in your life too 🧡.

A lovely sunrise an early morning in South of Spain ☀️. We can look at the same sunrise but still see different things. It’s the same with the situation we all are going through,- this corona- situation. It’s the same “virus” that’s affects us, but it still affects us all so differently 💛.

#coronavirus #curfew #quarantine #lifeischanging #Norwegian #livinginspain #lifeis #myblog #mylife #mypost #lifeexperiences #changes #challenges #affection #newdirection #newsituation #differences #feelinggrateful #feelinglucky #positivefocus 💚

13 years of exclusion ⏳🍂🍃

Hi ❣ It’s so nice to see you,- like always 😊 I hope all is fine with you 🧡.

Bullying other people can be done in different ways, with both silence and exclusion, or ugly words and even punches and kicks.  Both are bullying, just done in different ways.  Both of them hurt the victim of bullying,- badly,- maybe for life.

Why is someone being bullied?  Why do other bullies become?  I don’t have the right answer. I can only assume.

Bullying is happening all over the world, and both children and adults are being bullied.  There are also children who bully, and there are adults who bully.  There is bullying at school, there is bullying at work, and in different private areas too.

Who are the victims of the bullying?  What makes someone vulnerable to bullying while others get away?  Who are the bullies?  What causes some to bully others?  Is it envy?  Insecurity?  Words and conversations the bully has heard from the adults from home around the dinner table?

http://www.garrods.net

I don’t have the facet or the answers.  What I do know is that being subjected to bullying for a long time does something to a human mind, its thoughts about its self, its intrinsic value, and it’s not positive.

What I suppose may be the reason why others are bullied is insecurity, envy, and the difficulty of themselves, maybe different challenges in their home, with their parents? I don’t know, I can only assume.

What I do know is that being bullied destroys.  It destroys self-esteem, self-confidence, belief in oneself, belief in others.  Bullying can even kill. And have killed many young and adult hearts as well as lifes. But in some few cases being bullied can make a person incredibly strong too. If they did survived the years of bullying.

I don’t have many experiences of being bullied or bullied myself – but I know how difficult it can be to feel alone, to feel failure and to not fit in.  It is not a good experience. It’s not the same as being bullied for years, but I can recognize the feeling a bully victim experiences and has.  I write recognizing, because I don’t really know how unbelievably bad it is to be banned, kept outside the “group of friends” with silence, or exposed to hurtful words. I just can have an imagination about it, and the awful feelings its gives the one who experiences this.

https://m.soundcloud.com/hmmpodden

I don’t know where a bully comes from.  I also don’t know why anyone is being bullied. I know that we do not like everyone, that we do not fit well with everyone. We’re all different, but that’s not reason enough to bully. But is seems to be more coincidence who becomes a bully victim, it is not quite so random who becomes a bully.  Something to think about.

Some people I like better than others, and so it is for all of us.  That’s the reality! But it gives no reason to bully, it gives reason to behave with respect and acceptance for the inequalities. Be polite and attentive. Neither more nor less.

I know about a young girl, she turns 19 this summer.  For 13 years, all the years she attended elementary school, junior high and high school, she has been kept out of the group of friends.  In fact, she doesn’t have a single good friend.  She has never been met with ugly words or punches, but she has been met with silence and austerity, lack of invitations to festivities and company.

She has even invited “friends” to parties and celebration in her home, even with various entertainment.  There have been movie nights and game nights in their garage ceiling.  Her mother has helped her make parties and fun friends evenings.  Her mother has done everything in her power to prevent her daughter from being lonely, being held outside, being shut up, being met with silence.  Her mother has recorded the graduation with teachers at the school, and with parents.  Her mum has also tried not to “interfere” and see if it helped.

Her mom has arranged more for her daughter than I ever did for my 3 kids together.  Just to help her daughter “on her way” to “create” some kind of friendship with others children, and later, teenagers.

I admire her mom for her endeavor, and I admire her daughter who has not “puked out” just because of exclusion and silence from “friends” for 13 years.

And the “friends” has also “shown up” at the different events she and her mammi has created, but not for spending time with her,- just to have a place to be for a while. Have fun for a while, just not with her.

There is nothing “wrong” with this young girl at all.  She is smart, school-savvy, she does not have a “weird” look, rather terse, she is a beautiful girl.  She has various interests and hobbies – fortunately, and she is engaged in her interests and hobbies too.  She has managed to get her driverlince, and she got a little extra job at a gas station too. She is a silent, young girl, but whom hasn’t been that after 13 years with “silent” from “friends”. She doesn’t take up very much place in a room, like some has a habit to do,- but that’s no reason to keep her “outside”.

No matter how hard I try, I can’t find a single good reason for this young girl to be bullied and extorted, and met with silence.

I’m impressed with her, her courage.

And her courage really came to light last Sunday.  All her school friends have had different parties and events this spring to celebrate that 13 years of schooling are now over. Parties and events that she has not been invited to.  She even asks about joining, being allowed to participate, and being met with silence, met with lies and met with no answers, but she has seen the various events through various social media channels, which  a spectator.  For some reason, she was still invited to champagne, breakfast on Sunday, May 17th.  And she showed up!  I had never shown up – simply because I hadn’t dared to even sit down to hear about yesterday’s fun party that I wasn’t invited to, and also because of the feeling of being excluded all the time, during so many years.

This is the very, very short version,- 13 years is a long time. And I could probably have told you so much more, and written down so many examples.

Now, finally, a new chapter in her life begins, a new opportunity to make friends.  In the Autumn this year she starts at university, in a place where no one knows her.  Something that gives her the opportunity for a fresh, new start – and the opportunity to “escape” from all those who, for one or the other strange reasons, have kept her banned from the group of friends, met her with silence.

I’m not sure how I have handle this, 13 years with trying to create friendship, trying to get some friends,- but just be met with silence. But like she says, – you actually and unfortunately, get use to it. That’s the sad thing, and at the same time,- this life experience she has got because of this exclusion has probably made her stronger in a way I don’t understand.

She will “survive”, and she will manage different challenges in life perfectly. She have strong parents behind her back too. But,- unfortunately there are so many children, teenagers and adults that who can’t manage the different challenges that bullying makes, and don’t survive.

I don’t know why some is being bullied and others become a bully.  But bullying damages, destroys.  I also do not know how we can prevent anyone from being bullied and avoid creating bullies.

We are all created different, we are all different, we all will be accepted for who we are. So why just accept the difference instead? Easy to say, easy to write,- not always easy to live by,- but it should be easy to treat each with politeness and respect, and accept for the difference between us. And not bullied anyone because of the differences.

This is just one girl who has been met with silence and exclusion, but there are so many children, teenagers and adults that experience bullying every day. Why? What can we do to stop it?

Like I did mention,- I don’t have the answers. The only thing I can do is to meet people with politeness and respect, and I try my very best to do that too,- even its not easy to meet all with politeness and respect. Special not a bully, and a couple of more.

My thoughts today goes to all the people/ victims who has “survive” to be bullied in some or and other way. You all are incredibly strong 🧡. Be proud of your self 🧡. And my thoughts goes to all that have lost someone because of bullying.  I have no words to describe their loss.  Words become few and poor. 😔 🧡. I just can send you all my love 🧡.

I wish you a great day or evening wherever in the world you are 🧡 . Be nice to each other 🧡. Thank you so much for dropping by my blog today too 🧡

See you soon 😊.

Today, my thoughts go to those who are somehow bullied, either by being excluded, or being met with hurtful words and kicks.  There are children, teenagers and adults who meet with bullying of some kind every day.  I admire their courage to meet bullies every day at school, work or private.  Today, my thoughts also go to those who have lost loved ones because of what bullying does with another person’s self-esteem.  I have no words to describe their loss 🧡.

#lifeis #myblog #mylife #mypost #lifeexperiences #changes #challenges #lost #courage #admire #bully #beingbuilt #goodthoughts #silence #damage #soul #heart #feelings #differences #respect #bepolite #acceptthedifferences 🧡

No specific topic, niche or genre yet,- just the life, my life, me,- and I m totally fine with that 💛 😊

Hi ❣ It’s so nice to see you,- like always 😊 I hope all is fine with you during this time we all are going through,- together 🧡

I have been blogging and posting for over a year now,- and I have also been reading more from others blogs then I have done before 😊. I’m following different kinds of people and blogs with different kinds of niche, topic and genre,- and it’s very interesting to read about so many different things 😊. I do learn a lot about many things and people, cultures and traditions, something I like 😊. And many bloggers I’m following haven’t either a very specific topic, niche or genre,- at the same time they have,- because they write about their life 😊.

In the beginning when I did started to post my blog I did stress my self up very much with special one thing,- to find a special niche, topic or genre for my blog 😊. Because “everywhere” I did read about blogging I did also read about how important this topic, niche and genre for a blog was. Of course it’s important for some, I can see that,- but at the same time we are all different,- and I think for me, I just need to do this blogging in my way,- because then it’s “me”, it’s more “correct” for me to do it this way,- a bit like “step by step”, and actually let the readers just be a part of my very normal life ….well,- normal for me because this is the life I know, and it’s on its own way a normal life for me.😊.

I can’t follow “a blogging manual” for how to do “my blogging and my writing”,- but I can use some tips and advice now and then for how to try to do the best out of my writing ,- but still do it in my own way and tempo 😊.

I haven’t find any special niche, topic or genre to my blog yet,- except it’s about myself and my life ,- and that should probably be more then enough “topic, niche, genre and theme”,- and it will maybe just be that way too, without any very specific niche, topic, genre or theme, at the same time it is,- it’s me and my life 😊.

Because in my life I have different things and stuffs that’s important for me, just important in different directions 😊. I can’t choose one over another. I can’t choose to say to paint is more important for me then to knit, because both is important for me to do 🎨🧶. Food is important for me to eat, and also I like to make food, and I do eat every day 😊. And,- work out is important for me and my health 🤸‍♀️,- both my body and my mind 😊. I like to do my workout in general, but not always. There are days I just do my work out just because I know it’s necessary for my body and my mind, not because I want to do it. So my “soul” is not so much “into” workout and exercises that I actually can use that as a specific genre for my blog.

https://m.soundcloud.com/hmmpodden

My children,- well they are the most important “ingredients” in my life, and to be a mammi has been my “identity” for over 26 years, and even they are growing up and moving out, Im still a mammi. And my children still have a habit to move back home again now and then too 😅. But I don’t want to and I can’t use my children as a topic for my blog. But when that’s written,- to be a mammi for my three children has created me to the person I’m today 😊.

My jobs are important for me, and my friends as well, but both in very different directions 💛. And I have and also are going to continue to write about job, work and education,- but not so much that I can use it as a topic for my blog 😊. And my friends,- they are a part of my life and will be mention in my blog when it’s natural for mention them in different settings and situations 😊.

So I have decided that I leave it this way for a while,- without any specific niche, topic or genre,- the theme will be “my life” in general 😊. Im not going to stress my self up to find “the specific topic, niche or genre”. I’m obviously creating “the way, my way” when Im writing my posts 📝. My blog is me,- even I also know I still don’t let my readers take part in every little things that’s happen in my life or in my mind,- I m going to “come there” as well, but one step at the time, and in my own tempo 😊.

My blog it’s about me and my life,- a Norwegian mature woman that lives and works in Spain, my children are growing up, starting their own life, and I need to find “my life as a mammi not living together with my children any more”. And I think that’s more then enough topic, niche and genre 😊. Its many different things, like the life it’s self is filled up with 🧡.

I could write about makeup, and I also considered that seriously last Autumn, but I’m actually not very interested in make- up. Im most interesting in my mascara,- and a tiny bit interesting to learn a bit about how to use foundation for the skin ( if its called foundation? 😅) 😊. I could also write about skincare, but I do my skincare in my own way at the moment, and I haven’t very much to share in that area either. I take care of my skin as best as I can with the different products I have 😊. It’s very easy 😅. I have already share what I can share both about makeup as well as about skincare 😊.

I could write about hair, and I also do, but not very often. And at the moment I have “quarantine and curfew” hair anyway, so it’s not very much to write about 😅. Im a bit couriers what my natural hair colour actually is at the moment, and is trying to find out of that. I also like to go the the hairdresser two times a year. Imagine that 😊. So I haven’t to many “subjects” to write about in that area either 😊. Just some few,- so I leave it to that 😊.

Of course I could write about clothes, fashion and style too, because I use clothes and in general I actually like my own fashion and style. But,- I have what I have of clothes, shoes and fashion,- and I’m not sure it’s very interesting for other to read to much about 😊.

I can write more about menopause, but I’m obviously still not quite “there”. My menstruation is still very regular. But of course there are different changes in my body because I’m getting older, my body as well as my mind are in a “aging process” – something that’s actually are very natural. It doesn’t matter if you are 10 years, 25 or 47, – we are all getting older 😊. And there’s changes in every “age- category”. You know,- ” every age has its own charm” 😊. Also my age 😅.

Repeat my self mow,- I know 😅. But,- What I know I m going to write about is my life, different happenings and “events”, – it’s not to many of them at the moment because we are still in quarantine and curfew here in Spain, but now with the possibility for a walk outside in the morning and evening 😊.

I’m going to write about my children,- but just when they allowed me to do that, and accept my textes and photos about them. Something they actually so fare has done,-approved both text I have written about them and me, and images I have used of them 😊.

I’m going to write about painting and knitting, and probably about my work now and then too 😊.

And I’m going to write about different things and stuffs that’s happens in my daily life and my life in general, as well as what’s in my mind now and then 😊. Its very easy, but still complex 😊. And for me this are more then enough “niche, topic and genre” 😊. It’s a theme,- the life, my life and different things that’s in one or another way are dropping by in my life 😊. Then I don’t need to stress myself up for finding a specific niche, topic or genre, and actually more just enjoy the writing and writing process as well as sharing my textes with my readers 😊.

As there are so many different people around in the world there will also be so many different bloggers, blogs and textes,- and that’s actually a good thing,- to not create to many “copies” 😊. So I hope my readers around in the world still will enjoy my textes, even I just have a theme, – “the life, my life”💛.

I wish you a great day or evening wherever in the world you are 🧡. Thank you so much for dropping by my blog today too 🧡.

See you soon 😊

Me,- LailaS,- the writer behind this blog without any specific niche, topic or genre,- just the theme “The life, my life” 😊( updated photo as well,- taken today 09.05.2020).

I did started with publish my textes and blog for around a year ago,- and so fare I’m very happy for the way it has worked out and been, and hopefully will continue to be 😊. And I m also so grateful for my readers and followers 🧡. I did stressed my self up a bit when I started to write and post, because I couldn’t find any specific topic, niche or genre for my blog 📝. Now I m not stressed up any more, just very happy with the theme for my blog instead, and in general with my blog as well 🥰. It is what it is,- it’s my blog 🥰.

#mammi #raisingup #growingup #gettingolder #Norwegian #publish #livinginspain #lifeis #myblog #mylife #mypost #lifeexperiences #changes #challenges #topic #niche #genre #theme #fashion #style #mystyle #writing #mytheme #enjoying #happiness #happy #inspiration #lifeisgood #positivefocus 🧡