She is back in the nest 🐣 🍂🧡

Hi ❣ It’s so nice to see you,- like always 😊 I hope all is fine with you 🧡

Some weeks ago, or it’s probably a month ago, I did write a post I called “I will probably do it again and again “. It was about my kids moving in and out from my home. At that time it was my oldest son and a friend of him that moved in and out for some weeks. And I need to admit I’m a bit tired of it. This moving- in and out 😅.

It feels like I put my things, my life, my plans a bit “on hold” for a while under this “moving process”- and I also in a way does that. And of course,- when I got people in my home, and not just people, but my children, I feel on responsibility 🏡.

Because that’s actually what’s happen when you live together with someone, it doesn’t matter who, you still have a kind of responsibility to makes things “work” in a comment home,- even if it’s together with the children, a friend or a boyfriend/ girlfriend and so one.

It’s probably “easier” to live together with my children, because we have lived together for many years, but at the same time not. When I live together with my children I’m “the mammi”. You maybe understand what I mean?

Both of my sons are organized, but my daughter not so much for some strange reason. And I like to have it organized around me. But all my three children help out in the home as best as they can when they live together with me,- so I have not to much to complain about when it comes to that- but it’s still this “responsibility”- thing that you have in different kinds of relationships, special a living together situation.

But still when it comes to my children, no matter how tired I’m of this moving in and out from my home,- I will always and over and over and over again let them move in, let them rest, take care of them, be their mammi, be there for them- mo matter what❤. It’s a part of this unconditional love I feel and have for all three of them ❤.

And now my daughter is back in the nest again. I did see this was coming a while ago, so I was a bit mentally prepared this time for a new moving in- process. Why she move back to the nest again is her story, and not for me to tell this time. My story is that I’m a mammi, her mammi, and I care so much for her and love her so unconditional that it’s not a question what I want or not. Not a question how tired I’m.

My child needs me- it’s so easy as that. And then Im here for her, and my sons too ❤. I will always be there for my children no matter how tired I’m. And I’m a bit tired now, to organize my home and then re- organize it a bit too so it’s a bit more practical to live here for my kids too. And I’m a bit tired of live together with someone, even my children.

I have dreams on my own, for my self, and also I really like to live on my own, to just have the responsibility for just myself and no one else for a while. Do my things in my way. Be just me 😊.

This is not a secret for my children,- they know I’m very ready to just continue live alone, they know I’m a bit tired, but at the same time as they also know they will always come first, they will always be welcome and stay as long as they need 🧡.

An other thing, this time I have been a bit better to continue doing and working with my own plans and dreams, and not put to much ” on hold”, except from a couple of days when I needed to re- organize the home a bit. That’s a positive change for me- that I have manage that 😊. Maybe I’m starting to get use to this moving- in and out so it’s easier for my to continue doing “my things”?

And I have decided that when there hasn’t been any kind of any moving process, not in and out, not for my children, not for myself for at least 6 months- maybe then I can “brag” about my new “alone era” in my life? Maybe then I can “brag” about a new period and epoch in my life? Because obviously I’m still not there- that’s for sure 😅.

At the moment it seems that I’m in a kind of middle way process- finish with raising up my kids, finish with the mammi responsibility, finish with living together with them- but in a way still not finish …..but for how long? I don’t know.

Obviously my children really like my nest too- that’s for sure 🐣🥰. And that’s actually a good thing 🧡. Because if not, they probably haven’t come back home again and again and again 😊.

I wish you a great day or evening wherever in the world you are 🧡 Thank you so much for using your time and dropping by my blog today 🧡

See soon, I hope 😊.

My daughter and me- she is back in the nest again 🐣 ( I know I’m tired- I know I look tired too- but that’s the way it is 😴)

She is back in the nest again 🐣. Why she is back in the nest is her story- my “story” is that I’m a bit tired now😴 – but still I’m going to do it over and over and over again for my children ❤. And obviously my kids like my nest too, because they continue coming back to it 🥰🐣.

#mammi #raisingup #growingup #gettingolder #Norwegian #livinginspain #lifeis #myblog #mychildren #changes #challenges #movingout #movingin #unconditionallove #mydaugther #thenest

Welcome November 🍃🌹 Thank you October 🌹🍂

Hi ❣ It’s so nice to see you,- like always 😊 I hope all is fine with you 🧡

I have been working a lot in October, mainly because I had some private students who was going to have an big Norwegian exam in October, called Bergenstesten. So I needed to try to do my best to guide them to the exam, make them as ready and prepared I could. And that has taken a bit off time 📚. But also my normal job is a customer service agent on the phone takes time, even that one has just taken the “normal” weekly work time. And my freelance work- I’m using a bit more time on that one know for different reasons at the moment 😊. I have some dreams and wishes I want try out and see if it’s possible to manage 😊.

And just in case, “of course” my teamleder in my customer “service agent on the phone job” wanted to “upgrade” my skills too in October, so I could and can do some more and other tasks in the customer service agent job🎧. But I need to admit I didn’t feel for any more skills or new tasks or training at all at the moment 😅. I’m actually find on the phone like everything is at the moment 😊. Maybe special because I have different tasks I work on in my other job, my freelance work- like reach my own dreams in life 😊😅. And that’s not to be on the phone as a costumer service agent “for ever”. It’s something different. But the customer service agent job is fine- so please don’t misunderstand me. I was not just prepared for a bit more training in that job straight after finishing teaching my students 📚😅. And I have some dreams and wishes I really wants to try and see if its possible for me to actually reach them and manage them. But then I both need to put in some “offer” in both in my time as well as a bit of money.

To have dreams and wishes are free, but to try to reach them cost both time and money, and I want to and need to try to see if its possible for me to reach and manage my dreams 🌠. I don’t know that if I don’t try, and I can’t “put it on hold” for to long know anymore, I have already done that to long. I have set up a timeline to see if I can manage this, my dream. And I will probably know in a two or three years if or if not I manage it 😊.

I will say Thank you to October for the different opportunities my education, knowledge and different work experiences , and last but not at least, my life experiences gives me when it comes to new and exciting possibilities in different job situations – like my freelance work 🙏.

And I’m Thankful for that my students manage the Norwegian exam, Bergenstesten. It was a bit of a stress, but is was worth it 📚.

October has been very much focus on job in one or another way. And then, unfortunately, not so much time together with my friends, but I have manage to squeeze in a date with my Spanish friend at least🥰. And of course time with my children, – on the phone with my middle one in Norway, and the oldest and youngest has dropped by my home now and then. One of them even dropped by with all his/ her things too 😳😅. Jepp,- one has moved back home to the mammi again during October. No comments from me on that one yet 😅.

I wish November very welcome,- this month is also one of my favourite months- because my daughter was born in November 🧡. And in November there will be homemade birthday chocolate cake too 🎂.

I know November will be busy with work in different ways and forms. And also to continue doing and working with my dreams beside ordinary working- hours and days, and yes, be a mammi in my home as well. And try to squeeze in both some dating with my Spanish friend as well as some nice and cozy meetings together with my friends 😊. And in some or another way I really need to start with some regular workout and exercises again too 😅. I’m just not sure how or where to put those hours in my “schedule” 🤸‍♀️. And I also need to try to be better to write and share posts as well 📝.

With some good planning I can manage this- special if I give my self time to accept that things takes time and maybe little by little I will manage to put “all and everything” in a functional schedule that’sworsk for me- but not “all at once”, and also accept that there will be days where I will not manage closely to do anything- like today 😊.

I did started on a 2 weeks holiday today,- and I have actually not done very much- and I just needed this day to not do very much too – just relax 😊. Then I will manage to do a bit more other days 😊.

Thank you October for changing and challenges, knowledge and wisdom 🙏🍂. And Thank you for my jobs and works and different opportunities I get 📚📝. Thank you so much for my patience friends 🧡,- and Thank October for just the possibility to “meet” you with your ups and downs 😊🧡. And Thank you October for some nice and refreshing walks on the beach during some afternoons- it helps to clear my mind 🏖.

Welcome November- my daughter’s birthday month 🧡. And welcome to two lovely weeks of holiday,- where I just need to use the time and days to “feel up my batteries”, to relax, be a bit selfish and take a bit care of just my self for a tiny little while,- in my own way 🧡. Welcome November to a new freelance job- a job I’m looking forward to start in 📝🌠. And Welcome November with your unknown changes and challenges- I will try my very best to handle them as best as I can in a positive, open minded way and with as much joy I can manage to give different challenges in life 🧡.

I wish you a great day or evening wherever in the world you 🧡 . Thank you so much for using your time and dropping by my blog today 🧡

See you as soon as possible 😊

From one of my walks at the beach during an afternoon in October 🍂

Thank you October for changing and challenges, knowledge and wisdom 🙏🍂. Thank you for different works opportunities 📚📝. Thank you so much for my patience friends 🧡. And Thank you October for some nice and refreshing walks on the beach during some afternoons to just clear my mind 🏖. Welcome November with your unknown changes and challenges, opportunities, knowledge and wisdom 🧡🍂.

#changes #challenges #work #lifesituation #job #opportunities #october #newmonth #exam #teaching #knowledge #November #focus #positivefocus #holiday #dreams #goals

Goodbye September 🥀Welcome October 🍂⚘

Hi ❣It’s so nice to see you,- like always 😊 I hope all is fine with you 🧡

As August just “run away” September did too. And I haven’t been very good to write in my blog lately. It’s different reasons for that,- the main reasons are busy with work and trying to work with my private plans inbetween too 😊.

September brought both joy and happiness as well as a couple of challenges 😊. Things happened in September as well is in every month during the year,- both in negative as well as positive directions.

When people ask if I want to have the bad or good news first,- I always want to have the bad news first so I have something good to look forward too after,- the good news 😊. And like the different challenges that has “dropped by” in September I have thought a bit about if I should share them in my blog or not. And I have decided to just let the negative things be in the past and instead focus on the good things in September and just continue looking forward and on the bright side 😊.

To bring my thoughts back to the different negative challenges will not do my any good anyway 😊.

Like I mention,- it has been a bit work during September and busy days. But that’s the way it is, and it’s a good thing to have work even when it can be a bit busy and I can be a bit tired, and the energy to “all and everything” else aren’t quite there 😊. Like to write in my blog.

I have been so lucky and spend a lots of time together with my oldest son, and I also got the great news that I can rent this home until March 2023 😊 🏡. And I have also been on a date,- I can tell you a bit more about that one in an other post 😉. And good friends has dropped by my home too 😊.

So in general I just want to say Goodbye September and thank you for both the great moments as well as the different “lessons” 😊. And I wish October very welcome,- one of my favourite months 🥰. My middle son is born in October so this is his birthday month and just because of that also my favourite month 💙. And Natasja has birthday too in October, also a good reason to welcome October 😊.

I don’t know very much what I can expect from October,- there will probably be both lessons in life and new experiences, and happiness and joy too 🧡. So I just welcome this new month that has already started 🧡🤗.

I wish you a great day or evening wherever in the world you are 🧡. Thank you so much for using your time and dropping by my blog today 🧡.

See you as soon as possible 😊.

October is one of my favourite months because my son in the middle was born in this month 🧡.

Like all months September also brought joy and happiness as well as some different not the best challenges 🥀. I choose to not use my energy to focus to much on the negative challenges I met in September, it’s so much better to turn the focus on the positive things in life 🧡.

#positivefocus #lifeisgood #thelife #thedailylife #mychildren #mammi #changes #challenges #lifeis #september #october #newmonth

I will probably do it again and again… 😊

Hi ❣ It’s so nice to see you,- like always 😊 I hope all is fine with you 🧡

My three baby ducks are young adults children now and in general also live on their own,- but now and then they still need to live in my home for a period and more. And I’m starting to wonder if that’s a part of my new “era” and epoch in my life? To not live totally “on my own” for to long …. at least not yet 😊.

“My three baby” ducks on their way out in the world,- but now and then they turn back home to their mammi 🥰

I’m on my own again now, my home is “empty” and it’s just me in the house, and I need to admit it’s nice and quiet, just the way I like to have it now at days in my home, in my life. But this time I think I’m not going to “brag” to much over my new epoch and era in my life,- this “part” where I think I’m going to live alone in my home because my children has moved out …. again 😅. I have already done that one a couple of times,- and it wasn’t quite “correct”.

I also need to admit that I’m going to do this over and over and over again,- let my kids live in my home for a while, for a period when ever they need this kind of help from me. No matter how tired I’m or how “needy” I’m with this focus on my self, my life and my time. And my children know that- I’m here and I will be here as long as they need me – no matter how, why, when and what 🧡.

And I know I’m incredibly lucky that have this possibility to help my children in this way,- let them have a bed to sleep in, food on the table now and then when they need it, and need this kind of help from me 🧡.

And I know I’m incredibly lucky that have this three children that obviously feel in their own a kind of safty and comfort with coming back and back and back again to their mammi’s home when they need this kind of help ❤. And I’m incredibly grateful for exactly this,- that my children actually feel in a way safe and comfortable around me, and loved by me- if not I don’t think they have come back home again as they do now and then ❤.

I wish you a great day or evening wherever in the world you are 🧡. Thank you so much for using your time and dropping by my blog today 🧡

My three “baby ducks” needs now and then to be back in the home with their mammi- and even I’m finish with all “this” my children will always be welcome to stay in my home whenever they need it ❤.

#mammi #raisingup #growingup #gettingolder #Norwegian #livinginspain #lifeis #menopause #midlife #movingout #movingin #lifeexperiences #changes #challenges #mychildren #happiness #joy #feelinggrateful #feelinglucky

I’m not ready for this …. again 😳😅

Hi ❣ It’s so nice to see you,- like always 😊 I hope all is fine with you 🧡

During the two last years I have had some kind of “moving in and moving out” process mostly every second or third month in my home. Then it has been to reorganize the home as best as possible to get room and space for both the people and their things and stuffs, as well as my own.

This last moving situation was my own, and that’s around 3 months ago.

My plans changes every time in a situation like this, this “moving out and moving in”- situation, and its delays my plans too….. and unfortunately, I use time to “get back in business” again as well, to “find” my routines again. Or even find a new routine. I don’t know if this is “normal” for “all and everyone”,- but for me it takes a bit time to get back in my “normal” routines after a “moving in and moving out” situation.

In general it’s my children that’s move in and out, and now and then some friends of them too. So “here we go again” 😅.

I manage to live “on my own” for around 10 weeks this time before I got a “child” dropping by with bags and boxes, and a dog and a friend too.

And I got 2 weeks “notice” before they just come “rumbling” into my home with all their stuffs.

Some of ny oldest son’s bags stable in the livingroom at the moment

I need to admit a couple of things when it comes to this last “moving in” – situation,- I did actually cry a bit, for myself, alone in my bed, because I wasn’t and I’m not ready for this again- reorganize my home, live inbetween boxes and bags, “put my life” as well as plans “on hold” for a tiny while….again, and Im not ready to live together with anyone at the moment, to be honest, closely not even my children at the moment.

I know it sounds awful, and I feel awful too, because I feel it like this. But unfortunately it’s still the truth.

And I didn’t see it’s coming either, this “moving in”. I actually thought I was more and less finish with this “moving in and out” situation for a very long time. But obviously not.

It’s my oldest son, his dog and a friend of him that “moved” into my home for around 2 weeks ago.

I know that wasn’t their plan either, and it was really not my plan,- that’s for sure. But of course I’m helping my child, my children as best as I can with the possibility I can and have. But I told them they could just stay a couple of weeks this time, and use this weeks to find another “living” solutions.

And my oldest son knows I’m not to happy with this “solution” and situation, at the same time he knows I really, really love him, unconditional ❤. I just don’t want to live together with him any more 😅. And my son knows about this text, it’s not a secret for him that I actually wasn’t overwhelmed  by happiness for living  together with him again 😅- and he is also looking forward to not live together with me,- but it was and is necessary at the moment for him to do this 🧡.

My oldest son and his friend had actually a house they should move into, but suddenly the owner changed his mind. Not to let them rent, he chose to but put up the deposit from 2 months to 3 months 😳. And of course that’s not okay. And expensive too,- and the changes and possibilities for getting the 3 months deposit back when you are moving out is more and less, and unfortunately, a “lost case” here in Spain. And maybe even more now at days in this corona- situation and the economic situation the pandemi has “created”, then it was before.

The house or apartment you are moving out from can be in perfect order, but still the owner will find “something”, some kind if reason to not pay back the deposit. Of course there are rules and rights for this, to get back the deposit,- but it can be a long and struggling way to go.

I don’t say this is the way for all and everyone, but yes, in general when you are renting a place to live here in Spain you can just say “Goodbye” to the deposit you did pay. Like I mention,- there are rules and rights also for the one who is renting,- but the process can be long and difficult,- and yes,- we live in Spain 😉. To have rules and rights and to practice the rules and rights can be two very different things.

Anyway,- my oldest son, his lovely dog, Zorro and his friend are “camping” over in my home now at days, and I’m not to happy with the situation at all. At the same time as I struggling with feelings like being a bad and selfish mammi who want to live her own life now. I feel on guilt because I’m not very happy over this “moving in”, and it’s my child too. But for my children I try to do as best as I can to help them out, even when I’m not to happy for the situation.

I think the “worst” thing this time is that I live together with someone I don’t want to live together with anymore,- my son’s friend. I have lived together with him before, twice…..and it went okay,- and he is an okay guy,- but not “my kind of guy” or my kind of friend or my kind of living together partner.

Short summary,- he doesn’t do very much, but still except to be “served”. And have even a tiny challenge to say “Thank you” when he gets served.

Some people it’s just like they have a straw into your soul and just “drinking” out the energy. I don’t know if you have any experience with that kind of people?

I understand my oldest son and his friend’s friendship, and why they are friends, but still it’s not my kind of friend or friendship. And I actually think this is more “hard and heavy” for me to live together with this friend then to live just with my son and his dog. Maybe things has felt a bit more easier if it was just thise two that moved in? I think so.

Zorro,- my son’s dog is a very happy and easy dog- so he is actually not the biggest “challenge” now at days 😊. Probably I’m the biggest challenge to be honest 😅. A grumpy mammi 😅

They are all three moving out next week . I feel and felt bad for giving them a “time limit” to find another living solution then to stay in my home “forever”. But I have also plans and things I want to do,- kind of life where I m not just a mammi anymore……a life on my own, without any responsibility for someone else.

I need to admit I don’t have the energy for this at the moment, this living together with my children, and even more together with someone I really don’t want to live together with, and I don’t want it like this either. I need a bit of time on my own now, do my things, live my life, be just me, not the mammi- me. “Fille up” with some other kind of energies for awhile so I probably can “handle” a situation like this a bit better next time then I did and do this time.

A colleague of my told me that my children obviously and probably likes to live with me, and enjoys being around me a bit.  And that I am lucky to have children who come home, and home and home again. It’s not for all parents to actually have this kind of “opportunity” to spend this kind of time together with their children, or even be liked so much by their children. And I see and understand what she mean, and of course feel even more bad then, and a bit shameful too,- just because I actually it’s and wasn’t to happy with this “moving in” situation this time.

I’m actually incredibly lucky, I know that ❤. So there has been a lots of mixed feelings around my “living together situation” this time. Guilt, shame, feeling as a bad mammi, feeling selfish at the same time as I also want to help my child and my children ❤.

And this menopause doesn’t make the situation better or easier either to be honest. I really like and want to be alone when that one is “fucking up” with my brain. And I told my son that too. I know he doesn’t understand, but okay,- it is what it is.

I think maybe if you are a parent with grown up children, or young adults children, you know and understand why I feel the way I feel when it comes to this “moving in” again situation? Or is it just me?

I wish you a great day or evening wherever in the world you are 🧡 Thank you so much for using your time and dropping by my blog today 🧡.

See you soon 😊

A bit stuffs and things here and there,- and the friend need to camp on the sofa. I didn’t had or have any other solutions at the moment. I can’t reorganize “all an everything” either.

I need to admit that I wasn’t ready or to happy for this “moving in” situation a couple of weeks ago, and unfortunately I’m still not. At the same time I feel on guilt and shame and being a bad mammi. At the same time as I of course want to help my child, and i do feel grateful too. So you can say,- it is a bit of mixed feelings at the moment 😳😅.

#children #mammi #raisingup #growingup #gettingolder #movingout #movingin #lifeis #livinginspain #Norwegian #feelingshameful #feelingbad #feelinggrateful #changes #challenges #menopause #midlife #lifeexperiences