I have actually said yes to a date 🥀😊

Hi ❣ It’s so nice to see you,- like always 😊 I hope all is fine with you 🧡

My plan was actually not to date for a while, and it has also been a very long time since I have been on a date too. But I did say yes to a date this weekend. I still don’t feel very “ready” for dating, but I have known this man for seven years, and I know we have different things to talk about too, something that’s good to have when you are on a date. And we, in our own way, did “date” for around three years before we stopped dating four years ago.

So that’s one of the reason why I said “Yes, I want to go out on a date with you”. Because I know him, we can talk together and have different things to talk about too. And the other reason,- well,- to be honest, it could be nice to be hugged and cuddled a bit with, and get some nice and positive attention too 😊. And dress myself up a bit as well. And at least I know “what I get” from him, this date, both in the positive directions as well as the bit less positive directions too 😊.

And yes,- it’s my “old” neighbour, the Spanish policeman who asked me out for a date 😊. He is actually not “old”,- I think he is maybe 6 or 7 years younger then me to be honest. So I’m the “old” one here 😅.

He is, as I mention, a policeman, and in his job he is in contact with a lots of different people ….. people with and without the coronavirus too 😳. And he has got thise two “magical” vaccines related to the coronavirus and Covid19 as well, just because of his job, but still he needed to cancel our date this weekend and be in 10 days of quarantine because of the contact with a person who had the coronavirus 😳.

He did tested negative on the first Covid19/ corona test, but positive on the second one, just two days after. So now it’s 10 days home alone together with his two cats for him instead of being on a nice and cozy date together with me 😅. …(…but I actually don’t understand the vaccine “concept” if it’s this way it’s in “function “?🤔)

So here I’m standing dressed up and ready for a cancelled date 😳. A date I actually was looking forward to. What to do then? 🤔 Send a online “request” “all over the world” and ask if someone else wants to date me a bit this weekend?😅😊

I’m just kidding,- he did let me know about the quarantine long before I did dressed up and got ready for dating 😊. I’m actually just dressed up for some shopping and fixing internet a bit, nothing more, nothing less 😊. It’s judt nice to dress up now and then even for some shopping too, and hopefully I can “charm” the internet guy so much that my internet speeds up a bit as well 😊.

So instead of dating this weekend I’m just going to work a bit with my freelance work, and enjoy the sun, the beach, the sand, the ocean, and my roof terrace as well, a lot 🌞🍷. Just relax and taking care of myself 🧡. Easy peacy 😘.

I wish you a great day or evening wherever in the world you are 🧡. Thank you so much for using your time and dropping by my blog today 🧡

See you soon 😊

I like to dress up a bit, maybe even more now then before 😊 Getting ready for a date… or just shopping 😉

So here I’m standing dressed up and ready for a date 😳….a cancelled date because of a positive corona test,- but it was not my test. What to do then? 🤔 I’m just going to relax and taking care of myself instead 🧡. Easy peacy 😘.

#date #dressedup #Covid19 #lifeis #cancellation #thecoronasituation #dating #coronavirus #quarantine #lifeischanging #protection #weekend #relaxing #enjoyinglife #vaccine

It felt like a bad and silly comedy 🙄😅

Hi ❣ It’s so nice to see you,- like always 😊 I hope all is fine with you 🧡

Like I mention in my post “Goodbye June/Welcome July” there was a couple of men “dropping by” into my life under my moving process, except from that I actually didn’t let anyone “drop by” or “into” my life….or body, what’s that’s matter 🙄.

I should probably felt a bit flattered, instead I was a little stressed and actually a little petty 🙄. Why should “all and everyone” show me some kind of interest and some kind of attention the week I was moving? When I was a bit stressed, tired and also felt like a tiny “plane- crash” and not very comfortable with myself? Why now? Wasn’t that a bit to late?

I probably sound a little conceited now, that’s not the point, nor was I “surrounded” by men ….. even though it felt a bit like that then and there.  It all felt more like a silly comedy, to be honest.

As some of you know my neighbour in the house I lived in before really started to flirt with me when he got the information about me moving from the area. He started a bit before, but okay. He invited me for some wine, but I didn’t felt for “jumping” into any wine glass or bottle together with him then. I was actually to tired, a bit stressed and I needed to use my time to a couple of other things. But yes,- I did flirt back, and maybe I take the flirting to an other “level” now when I have moved? Maybe I “jump” into the wine glass or bottle together with him one hot summer evening? 😉

Thursday 10. June, Irene, my oldest son’s girlfriend, borrowed me her car so I could use the weekend inbetween work to move some boxes and bags, before the moving car took the big things. But I needed to move those things ( boxes and bags) early in the morning or late in the evening because it’s a bit of a challenge to get an parking place close to my new home during the daytime.

I manage to move “one driver” Friday evening, two early Saturday morning, one late Saturday evening, and my plan was to manage the same on the Sunday. The first drive I did manage at 07.00 in the morning and I knew I needed to be at my new home latest 09.30 with the next “round” with boxes and bags if I should manage to get an okay parking place as close as possible to my new home. And that was my only focus too. Reach an parking place.

But….suddenly around 08.30 this Sunday morning (13. June) when I was filling up the car with more bags and boxes this man I was flirting and spending some time with last summer stood in front of me….outside my home 😳. I was a bit supriced and to be honest I’m actually still not sure why he was there, why he came to my home. I can have a kind of image, but I actually just heard a lots of ” bla, bla, bla”. And I was thinking two thoughts, – “I need to manage reach the parking place before 09.30” and “isn’t that a bit rude to stand outside my door 08.30 a Sunday morning when it was him that choose to not have anymore contact with me ?” 😳 And on top of that he told me he had deleted my phone number too 😅,- obviously that’s a kind of hobby some men has when it comes to me,- to block me or delete my number.

I need to admit I’m still not quite sure why he was on my door a Sunday morning at 08.30. I think he tried to explain me, but as I told you,- I had mainly two thoughts in my mind, and actually just heard a lots of “bla, bla, bla”,- I think there came a lots of “bla, bla, bla” out of my mouth too 😅.

But it doesn’t stop there,- Tuesday 15. June, just two days after, I got a text from this American man I had a crush on a couple of years ago, he was just arrived to Spain and wanted to meet me 😳. Suprice,- I didn’t knew he was coming, haven’t heard from him for a long, long time. There has been no attention, no care. I told him I was in the middle of a moving process and didn’t have any time for any meetings. And to be honest,- I actually don’t want to meet him either anymore.

But it’s more,- the next day, Wednesday 16. June I got a new text, from a French man I was a bit together with from the summer of 2016 to the summer of 2017, suprice, – he was I Spain too 😳. I need to admit he is a good looking man, looks a bit like Bruce Willis, but just a bit. But I’m not interested to meeting him either. And that’s for the same reasons, I haven’t heard from him, no attention or any kind of care. I told him that I was in the middle of a moving process. The moving car was coming the next day, the 17. June.

He actually texted me 3 times at the same day, – and I needed to explain to him that I’m not just moving with two suitcases. Because it’s sounds like I should drop everything and just come running to him. I haven’t heard from him either for a really long time, so why should I be running?

My plan was not to go on dates either, but to move, get in order in my new home, try to settle down a bit, work and so on before I even started to think about flirting. Actually take a bit care of my self, and absolutely not take any kind of care about men, and not this men. They have actually never taken very much care about me, but I have taken care about them. Now it’s actually empty inside me “for taking care of ” closely any man. I want to be taken care of a bit now,- and obviously the one who can do that is myself 😊.

This two last men,- the one from US and the one from France,- of course I know why they wanted to meet me,- just for some weeks of summertime flirting. But I haven’t heard from no one of them for months, actually closely years. So why should I wanted to meet them now? To be honest,- the intim part was not so good either and not worth to try out again. I choose rather no intimacy then bad intimacy.

And the other ting,- no one of them asked me if I did need any kind of help, just texting me and asked “when can we meet?” “Are you finish with the moving soon?” and so on. And like I told them both, – you could and should probably have told me a bit in front that you was coming to Spain, – I have a life here in Spain, I’m not on holiday. And you should probably has given me a bit more attention during this lasts years too, just to “keep up the interest”. I didn’t told them that I wasn’t to impress over their “activities in bed”,- that’s probably not very nice to say. But I wasn’t very impressed over their ability to care either, not then then and not now. I have texted them, asked them “how they are”, “thinking of you” and so on, without to much response back. So nope,- there’s not very much attention from me left anymore.

I’m a very patient person ( or maybe it’s more like I was- you know I’m getting older, wiser and learning 😅), also in this “area” when it comes to men and this “attention and caring part”, as well as give a man I like my attention,- but after a while,- when there’s no “given back” of any kind of attention or care, I’m losing my interest, and not just a little, but totally. The only way the get my interest and attention back is actually to “work for it”, to give back some attention of different kinds. And maybe, but just maybe, he will “be lucky”.

Anyway,- my moving week was “touched” by this,- and now when I think about it,- I feel I was a part of a bad and silly comedy 😅. And I got this song “Get lucky” by Daft Punk on my mind too. I like this song, but …. it’s not easy to “get lucky” with me anymore, that’s for sure. And I don’t understand this men’s “attention” now. Why now? It felt a bit to late for that now.

So fare no one of this men has been “lucky” with me either,- and those two who are or was on holiday in Spain will not be very “lucky” with me either. I’m not sure with this summerflirt from last summer will be “lucky” with me either,- then he need to change his “strategy” a bit, and it’s not even sure he wanted to be “lucky” with me either, but I still don’t understand then why you drop by someone’s door 08.30 a Sunday morning if you haven’t any kind of intention with it ? He got my attention and care during the Autumn and winter too, not just the summer, with both sweet gifts as well as dinner invitations in my home, but that was obviously not enough or good enough. But there will not be any more attention from me. I actually need “something” back, some kind of attention too. I sounds very strict now, but that’s the way it has become 😊.

And I’m not sure if my earlier Spanish neighbour, the policeman, will be “lucky” with me either. It’s 4 years since we was, let me call it neighbours with benefits, but there was so much drama now and then, and I’m not a very big fan of drama. On the other hand, he have actually given me both attention and care,- so maybe he will “get lucky” ?

Like I said,- it felt like being a part of a silly comedy 😅. But okay,- that’s the way it is sometimes, life is a comedy in one or another way now and then 😊. What I know is that I’m not going to give my attention and care “here and there and everywhere”,- it’s just one man ( hopefully someone special- worth my attention and care) that’s going to be “lucky” with me,- I just don’t know who yet 😊.

I wish you a great day or evening wherever in the world you are 🧡 Thank you so much for using your time and dropping by my blog today 🧡

See you soon 😊

An “updated” me, photo taken 5. July 2021 , by me 😊

The week I was moving out from my old home and into my new home felt a bit like a silly comedy 😅. Not because of the moving process, but because of the suddenly, unexpected and very supriced “attention” I got. But I don’t have any wishes to give my attention and care “here and there” anymore, I wasn’t even flattered, but actually a bit more petty 😊.

#movingout #movingin #experiences #flirting #dating #attention #invitation #men #lifeis #livinginspain #comedy #gettingolder #midlife #lifeexperiences #changes #challenges #positivefocus

I’m not currently dating,- and it’s my choice 🌹

Hi ❣ It’s so nice to see you,- like always 😊 I hope all is fine with you 🧡

I’m not currently dating, and it’s a time since I actually did date, and also was “looking” for a date. And I’m very fine with that. I actually don’t miss dating or being in a relationship. Because in my mind I do understand the “dating- concept” as you meet up with someone because you want, and hopefully will get a serious relationship together with this person. Both are interested in each other,- that’s why it is a date. It’s not sure this “understaning” is correct. It’s just the way I understand the “dating- concept”.

But I need to admit that for a period I actually thought that I miss dating, miss being in a relationship, and missed a boyfriend in my life. But the truth is I did miss an imagination, and not my reality when it comes to relationships. But my imagination over how a relationship can or should be.

I deleted the dating app Tinder in October/ November 2019, and haven’t regret that so fare. But I was “tired” of the “dating” before I deleted the app. It didn’t gave me very much, to be honest. Like relationships haven’t given me to much either. To be fair,- it’s my last “long term- serious” relationship that’s “freshest” in my mind, and also where many of my not to good experiences when it comes to relationships are “build on”. Natural enough, but also maybe unfortunately?

And it’s actually more the 7 years since that relationship ended- something I’m very grateful for 🙏, but still it has “marked” my mind and soul in a bit negative direction and with a bit negative thoughts and experiences when it comes to dating and relationship.

I have met some nice dates during the lasts years, but also some strange dates. But that’s not the reason why I have made a choice and decision to not date for a while.

Dating didn’t gave me very much, or to use the dating app and “try” to find a date, a date that’s also maybe would became to a serious relationship after a while.

Maybe I’m not a “nettdating- person”? Maybe I need to met a man in “the real life” and not during a “switch left or right” app? I know it’s different dating- app’s, not just like the way Tinder is in “function”. But still I don’t think nettdating is something for me.

It’s not just that I’m not a “nettdating- person” that made me choose to not date for a while, but also because I know I need to resett my self when it comes to dating and relationship. Really resett my self. Maybe I manage to do it, maybe not. I don’t know, I don’t even know if I’m going out there in the “dating and relationship” world again either. And it’s fine. I’m fine with that.

I have thought a bit over why I wanted to date at that time I was a bit “busy” with that. And for me it was about attention, be attracted and became attracted of, intimacy and sex, hopefully feel “close” to an other man both mentally as well as psychic, meet someone to share different things and stuffs in life together with, someone to have different experiences together with as well as do things and stuffs together with, feel “connected” together with, someone “special” and be “special” for, feel butterflies in my stomach and some extra heartbeats too, just because of that man and the feelings I had for him, to feel important for someone, to miss someone as well as be missed, and probably a bit more I don’t remember anyone and at the moment 😊.

But the reality, my reality is that I haven’t actually very much real experiences from this, this thoughts about how I think a relationship is “in function”. My own experiences when it comes to, special relationships, are not like my “dreams and imaginations”, if I can call it that. Because my dreams and imagination about a relationship is “my why” I wanted to date and be in a relationship, but the truth is, my truth and my experiences and my reality is not very similar with my imagination.

My experiences from a relationship are actually something I don’t want to go through again. And we date because we want to meet someone that’s makes us feel “comfortable”, feel happy and happiness, joy and love and so on. We in general dates because of “my why” I wanted to date.

So I made a decision for more then over 1,5 years ago that I don’t want to date. I don’t want to date before all of me, my heart, my mind, my soul are ready for dating and ready for the commitments and the responsibility a relationship has. I need to really resett my mind, my heart and my soul first. And I have no idea how long time my “resett- process” will take. Maybe “forever”? I don’t know, and that’s fine 😊.

And it’s actually a good feeling to say “Thank you, but No Thank you, I’m not dating at the moment”, when someone asks me out for a ice tea or a coffee, a glass of wine or a lunch. And in general I don’t even get the question “why not”, and to be honest, it’s actually no one’s “business” either why I don’t date. It’s my choice, and I’m very fine and comfortable with my choice too 😊. And I’m very relaxed with my choice as well, when it comes to this “currently not dating” 😊. And I’m actually not even sure it’s worth it, – the dating and relationship,- to expose myself to maybe get the same experiences again when it comes to relationships.

Like I have mention before,- when or if I’m want to date again and want a serious relationship I can but out an “vaccination available” in my blog 😅. We see what’s happen there in the future 😊.

I wish you a great day or evening wherever in the world you are 🧡. Thank you so much for using your time and dropping by my blog today 🧡

See you soon 😊

My imagination about how a relationship should be and my reality about how a relationship is,- is two very different things 🥀.

My imagination about how a relationship should be and my reality about how a relationship is,- is two very different things 🥀. So that’s why I have chosen to not date for awhile,- I need to resett my self, my mind, my soul, my heart before I maybe start dating again 😊. And I’m very relaxed with my decision about not dating 😊.

#dating #relationship #relaxed #decision #mychoice #resettmyself #experiences #differences #imagenation #thougths #feelings #choices