Mid age and midlife crisis 🥀

Hi ❣ It’s so nice to see you,- like always 😊 I hope all is fine with you 🧡

The midlife crisis is no joke.  It can be a pretty tough mental process for many, especially men.  Unfortunately, it turns out that there is a fairly high suicide rate among men who are going through the midlife crisis.  And the average age, worldwide, is 47, 2 years. 

Unfortunately it’s in general men, all over the world, that’s struggling most during this “status in the life period” in life. But of course women too, but maybe in a different way? And it is not “all and everyone” that goes through a mental crisis in the mid age either.

Often is the reason why some feel the mid age are so hard are feelings like unsuccessful, hopelessness over different dreams that hasn’t come through, wishes that’s feels not fulfilled and they are in the middle of the life,- and get a feeling that the life is over. But the middle of the life is not the end. It is the middle of the life. At the same time I can understand this painful feelings inside many fells during this period in life.

Why do so many feel on this bad feelings and thoughts, and also some choose suicide as a “resort” and “solution”? I don’t know, I don’t have the answers, but I can actually really understand this feeling of unsuccessful in life. The hopelessness when dreams and wishes feels like they are not fulfilled, and the feeling of lost youth, and  thoughts  about  a frightening and unknown old age can scares “anyone”, the feeling of not reaching, lack of happiness, depression, emptiness, a feeling of not reaching, and whether one has children – the children who move out, and a home that feels empty. It can be a lots to process at the same time,- as well as there often also are a economic and money “issue”. The economy is not in the direction that is was wishes for in this age.

It’s a kind of feeling that the life is over, and it’s not possible to reach any dreams, wishes and goals anymore, or have any hopes. But it is 😊. Just think about what you actually have manage to do during your 45- 50 years of living? Then it should be possible to “squeeze” in a bit more during the at least next 30- 40 years of your life? Maybe in a bit slower tempo,- but so? 😊

I think I have had my “midlife crisis” in my life, already. This crisis where you actually think you can’t manage anymore, not a tiny little challenge more, at the same time as you feel failed in the economic and material field.  This, unfortunately, is one of the reasons why many, special men choose suicide as a solution instead of the feeling of unsuccessful.

I’m not a man,-, but when I was around 39- 40 I was in “this place” in my life. This incredible painful feeling of being unsuccessful in so many area in my life. It felt more heavy that I could manage. I even planned how and where to do it,- three different times. To try to end this   incredible painful feeling inside me.

The reason why I didn’t manage it was the thoughts of my children. I couldn’t just leave them either, in away alone in the world, and I also knew that my children would never understood why I had left them like that, because of economy, money and material issues. The incredibly painful feeling of unsuccessful. But it was hard, and I can really understand this feeling of being unsuccessful and actually not be able to “see the light in the tunnel”. But “the light  is there”, I know it’s there. So fight as best as you can during  this  hard part of the midlife crisis 💛.

So yes, I know. I know how it feels to not manage life anymore. To not see solutions. To feel useless and unsuccessful. To feel not worthy a shit. But,- still, – I can now say,- life feels good, – even with “the baggage” I have,- but now I slowly try to let go, step by step, trying to leave one heavy part down in the road and let it be there.

Hopefully that was my midlife crisis, and hopefully I will not be in that place in my life again. I actually don’t think so,- I will be in a place like that again,- but I can’t know.

I’m still not successful in the general term of success and successfulness, and m not rich on material things or have a lots of money in my bank account, – but it doesn’t matter anymore 😊. I’m fine,- I have what I need and still do my best to reach my different goals, wishes and dreams in my life. And I know I work hard to keep it going.

I can also imagine that to be in the midlife crisis during an pandemi must be even harder than without an pandemi. So many people has lost their homes, jobs, safety net and different things in life that’s in a way did defined their successes in their life.

I think it’s difficult to have dreams, wishes and goals to work for now at days,- and now and then I’m also “losing” it a bit,- but I try my best to focus on the positive things and try my best to keep the hope alive inside me 😊.

An other part of the midlife crisis is for many women when their children are moving out, and the home feels incredibly empty, silent and the “mammi routines” aren’t there anymore. It’s like “What to do now?”🤔

I don’t have unfortunately, any wise advice to give when someone are goes through a heavy midlife crisis and struggling with keeping things, lifes, their self together, in on or another way. I’m very sorry for that. The only advice I have is,- don’t give up. Look for the small, nice and positive things in a day. It doesn’t need to be so much,- but if you sample the small things they will be much together 💛. And life is always changing, it’s ups and downs, and I know some downs can be pretty hard too 😔. But after a down, there will come an ups,- if not the downs hasn’t been there. I know it’s not easy, I really know that- but it’s worth to at least try and give yourself some time too. It takes time to get out of the cold dark midlife crisis. But it’s possible 😊.

Like I mention earlier in my text,- I’m thinking about what I actually have manage to “squeezed” into my 48 years long life so fare. And it’s actually a bit 😊. Then I think I will probably manage to “squeeze” in a bit more,- even I at the moment are not sure what I want to “squeeze” in. But I will find that if I give myself a bit of time 😊.

Some will also probably think I’m not successful in life,- but in my life I’m in my own way successful, – so that’s fine and good enough for me 😊. It’s my life, and it’s me that needs to be and feel successful in my life,- I don’t need to be that for someone else 😊.

It was actually a bit difficult to explain and write about the midlife crisis, but I hope you got “the essence” of what I wanted to write about and tell? 🥀

I know midlife crisis can be challenging, and I haven’t the best solutions for how to “survive” it,- my best advice is to talk with someone, get some help to sort out your feelings and thoughts,- because you are actually not alone at all to go through a midlife crisis 🧡.

I wish you a great day or evening wherever in the world you are 🧡 Thank you so much for using your time and dropping by my blog today 🧡

See you soon 😊

Roses from my patio- a kind of reminder that I’m in a new flowering in my life- and not like a “fallen” flower eith mo future anymore 🌹

Many people all around the world goes through a midlife crisis, and it can be a pretty hard personal crisis too for some 😔. I have been there my self,- some years ago. But now I choose to look at this new period in my life as a new flowering in my life 🌹.

#gettingolder #menopause #midlife #lifeexperiences #changes #challenges #midlifecrise #hardtime #solutions #hope #optimism #lifeis #thelife #experiences #differences #midage #newflowringinlife 🌹

Orange is orange,- or? 🍊

Hi ❣ It’s so nice to see you,- like always 😊 I hope all is fine with you 🧡

Orange can be different kinds of things like for example a fruit or a colour and also a company 📱.

I like the fruit 🍊, but I’m not the biggest fan of the colour, and even less fan of the company with this name.

Like I mention in my post “March month tends to argue a little” it was a couple of challenges during March, but not worse then can be fixed 😊. Sometimes it’s just take a bit time to get them fixed ( like my shower- text is coming)😊.

I have been using a mobile and internet company with this “fruit” name, but I have tried to change a couple of times, because I had not been to happy with the company. It’s incredibly expensive and I never got an invoice with any explanation for what I actually was paying for,- even I asked many times. Also the chaning- process has this “fruit” company manage to avoid or in a strange way stopped.

My internet turned on/ off several of times, and could be off for weeks before the company actually did fixed it 😳. And it’s a bit important for me to have a functional internet in my home because I’m working from my home 🏡. No internet, no income. And there had been some other challenges too with this company.

I manage to change internet and mobile company some months ago 😊, and also stop the automatic transmission/ payment from my bank account to this “fruit” company. But suddenly this company for some strange reason manage to charge my bank account anyway last month, and then actually months after I had changed to another company, and finish being their customer 😳.

For some it probably don’t sound like a big amount or a big deal to be charged for 50 euro for something I don’t have or use. But for me 50 euro is food for more then a week 😳. And I’m not their costumer anymore either, haven’t been for some months actually. And the monthly payment was actually twice as much when I was customer in this company 😳.

In my mind it was a bit rude to do this. So I went to my bank and got my money back. I had the signed paper that my bank can’t charge anything more from me and my bank account to this “fruit” company. So I got my money back. Like I mention, – it was not a big deal and it was possible to fix it, but in that moment it felt like a tiny little big deal for me.

It’s not very often I don’t reccomend a company for someone, but when it comes to this company I will not recommend it to anyone. But that’s because of my experiences with the company. Some other customers can have the opposite experiences then me and probably can and will reccomend this company 🍊. But that’s the way it is, – we reccomend things based on our experiences. At least I do. I don’t know what you do?

Hopefully I’m finish with this company now, but I have some doubts too. I think there will be some calls from them and offers so I can became their customer again. At the moment I’m not going to be that. I’m very happy with the not “fruit” company I’m using for my internet and mobile now 😊. So fare so good 😊.

I wish you a great day or evening wherever in the world you are 🧡 Thank you so much for using your time and dropping by my blog today 🧡

See you soon 😊

We do our recommendation based on our own experiences most of the time 🍊🍋

When or if I give an recommendation to someone the recommendation is in general based on my own experiences 🍊. I recommend orange, the fruit, because I like it, but it’s not sure someone else like it to much 🍋.

#company #recomanmendation #work #workingfromhome #experiences #differences #lifeis #thatslife 😊

March month tends to argue a little 🥀😳😊

Hi ❣ It’s so nice to see you,- like always 😊 I hope all is fine with you 🧡

In general I feel March month has a tends to “argue” a little bit 🌱. I feel this month it’s in its own way colour up with some grey colours. I’m not sure why it is like this. Maybe because it is the month after the wintertime and before the Spring- time? As a kind of “month in between the sessions” ? A bit “grey- coloured” month?

When I was living in Norway this was a heavy economic month. I was closely over the different expenses after December and the Christmas- time, and then March dropped up with a lots of different new experiences. It was not just like that for me, but for many people in Norway. March was “the big” experiences month for many. And of course it was hard, even when you tried to put away money for this month it was hard.

To be honest I don’t remember the first March months after we moved to Spain, but I do remember the 3 last ones. And they was all touched a bit of the grey colour. But when that’s said, – this is only my “experiences” 😊.

March 2019 I got a job and felt very happy for that. I had been without a work- contract for some months, and was just earning my money at freelance work. Something that actually can be a bit hard because the available work can various from nothing to a lot. And when it’s no work to do, there’s no money to earn either.

But this job I got was not the easiest job for me to do. The costumer service job was fine, but the Amadeus program was not easy to handle- for me. And my car had flat wheels too, so I needed to walk to the job and back home. It took me one hour each way, so I was away from my home around 10 hours 5 days a week and a bit tired when I was back to my home after a day at work 😴.

I couldn’t effort using money on the train ticket to the work either, because I needed to use the money I had on the regular expenses like the rent, electricity, water, food and new wheels too. And, unfortunately, when March was closely over I got the message that I was not good enough to continue doing this kind of work 😔. So yes, I do remember March 2019 very well, and not as the best month in my life. More like a bit of hard and challenging month.

Then it was back to the freelance work again. I actually really do like to work as a freelancer, but I have also learned that I at least need to have at least 50 % of my regular work on a basic working contract so I at least know I will manage to pay for the regular expenses like the rent, the electricity and water. Food too, of course, but I in general manage to earn enough to the food during my freelance work, even when there’s weeks or periods without to much freelance work to do.

Last year, in March 2020 this coronavirus dropped off in our society, and we all got curfew 😳. And we got a lots of different restrictions to follow too. My oldest son and his friend was living together with me at that time, but was actually “on the way out” to their own home. That didn’t happen.

March 2020 was not as hard as the year before, but very, very different then we was use to live in general. And it was a bit challenging to learn to live by curfew and restrictions, be inside our home more and less 24 hours 🕰. And also listen to the sound of helicopter over our homes as well as “meet” the police on the way to the store.

This year,- well this March has also has it’s different challenges, but again different from last year 😊. This time it feels a bit more like there has dropped up a tiny challenge now and then during the day or week. Challenges that’s in general can be handle, but sometimes takes a bit time to get finish with 😊. And to be honest,- I haven’t share “all” the different challenges I have met on during March. I like to try my best to focus on the positive things, and it has been many positive happenings for me during this March to choose to focus on instead 😊. But of course it is a bit hard to “correct up” the economy again after trying to help my kids out. Special when I have been a bit (very much to be honest,- but I think it’s the age) tired too, and actually prefer to sleep instead of working 😴😅.

But I knew already in the beginning of March that this was going to be a bit busy month with different aspects in life as both work and family, and a bit lack of time to “all and everything” 😊.

I’m going to share some few of the challenges I have met during March with you during in some very few post during April. They are not a big deal actually, and even better to share when I have fixed the challenges so you can get the “whole story” from the beginning to the happy end instead 😊.

So maybe March will be easier and easier “to handle” the next years, there in the future 😊? And I don’t will look at this month with a touch of grey colours in the future? 😊

I’m not sure if you have some months during the year you feel are a bit more “grey coloured” even before they are “showing up”? Just because of some earlier not to good experiences? I have March, and of all the things also October and November too. At the same time as this months are some of my best months because my son in the middle is born in one, and my daughter in the other 💙❤. Strange? Yes, it is, – but that’s the way it is 😊.

Anyway,- soon March is over and some “new adventures” are ready to be explored and experienced just around the corner 😊🧡.

I wish you a great day or evening wherever in the world you are 🧡 Thank you so much for using your time and dropping by my blog today 🧡

See you soon 😊

Sometimes I feel March is coloured up with a bit of grey colours, and also that “the wheels” are standing a bit still, and different challenges has a habit to be “connected” to the standing still wheels too 😊.

Sometimes I feel March is coloured up with a bit of grey colours, and also that “the wheels” are standing a bit still, and different challenges has a a tiny bad habit to be “connected” to the standing still wheels too 😊. But that’s life, isn’t it- to meet up on different challenges now and then? 😊

#myexperiences #march #greycolour #challenges #coronavirus #curfew #restrictions #lifeis #thelife #thedailylife #positivefocus #differences

Oh no, I needed to take a tiny step out of my comfort- zone 😳😅

Hi ❣ It’s so nice to see you,- like always 😊 I hope all is fine with you 🧡

I have “recognize” that there will be different “comfort- zones” in my life I need to start to take a step and two out from, because if not I’m not going to “get anywhere”. Even I need to admit I have no idea where I’m going to “go” yet 😅. But if I’m not starting “walking” one thing it’s for sure, I’m not getting anywhere either 😊.

The thing is, I’m in general not aware that I need to cross over my comfort zone before I actually standing closely in front of it or it stand in front of me. Like when I needed to travel to Madrid.

And I’m not the only one that feel we “suddenly” need to move a bit out of our different comfort zones in our lifes. One thing is because the children has moved out from the sofa, just kidding, from the home 😊, and we need to find a new rhythm and dynamic in our life because of that. And an other thing is this “life changing process” that’s actually are happen in a woman’s body and probably also life and mind in the age of around 50 , this menopause 🤪. (As well as for men too). And then it’s changes in life in general that makes it’s necessary to move out from different comfort zones in life.

And I’m not the only adult woman (and men too) that has “created” our own “safty” routines in our life 😊. A kind of safety net. The comfort zone or safety net can be where to shop our food, or what gas station to use for fill up the gasoline on the car, even filling from the same gas pump, or a routine for picking up the mail, or when to do the dishes or make the dinner. It can be small things and daily routines we in general are not thinking very much about, but “suddenly” they changes a bit because things in life changes. And we need to move out from a kind of “comfort zone”.

Comfort zones in life can be so many different things. It depends from person to person.

Routines create safety, and comfort zones, but in general we doesn’t think very much about it, because they are the routines in our life. We are used to them. We like them. They create our safety. They create a comfort we like.

I’m using in general the same food store, or actually I do switch between 3 different ones, but I have one I use most. And that’s because its close to my home, it’s cheap and I feel comfortable with shopping there. And when I had the car I did use the same gas station too, and I also in general use the same gas pump, pump number 5 😅.

Some will probably laugh at bit about me, and that’s fine 😊. And some will understand why I felt like I needed to take a tiny step out of my comfort zone one day this week when I realized that I actually needed to go to the store and buy my own ice coffee – alone too 😳 😅. And that to a store I’m not use to use 😳.

This “ice coffee shopping for mammi” is something my daughter has done for me the last 3 months now, when she has been out for her walks. And,- then she use another food store to buy my ice coffee from then I’m using to buy food. Because in this store the ice coffee is a bit cheaper and it’s tasty good too, and they are in general not empty for ice coffee either like they in general are in the food store I’m using 😊.

My favourite coffee is Ice coffee cappuccino- so now you know 😊

So when I was out of my favourite ice coffee, cappuccino, I actually needed to go to the food store I haven’t use or been in for some years ☕. It was actually not a big deal, and I didn’t felt on a “big ice block in my stomach” either because of this. I just realized and recognized that there will be some small steps out of my different comfort zone and routines, and habits as well, and even some big ones too, in front of me out there in the future 😊. And I’m not sure what they are or when they are showing up. So for me it’s just to try to get use to them, that they are “dropping up” now and then, small and without any big deal as well as big ones who will create some ice blocks in my stomach 😊.

I actually sent a photo to my daughter at Snapchat with a photo of my ice coffee and a text “Mammi needed to go out of her comfort zone today” 😅. Because in it’s own, but not very important way, that was actually still what it was, – a tiny, but not important, step out of my comfort zone 😊.

This ice coffee shopping is just a tiny and very little and small example, maybe even a stupid example, but for some this changes can be a big deal, when for others not so much. And it was also not a big challenge for me to take the walk to this store, it was actually a bit exacting 😊. Because I found also some tasty chocolate sauce and caramel sauce to use on my ice cream 🥰. But I think it is a bit important to think about that something that can seems not like a big deal for some people can be a very big step out of the comfort zone for others- just because we are different, and maybe also because we are in different stages in life as well as in different life processes. Let’s not forget about that, and just respect and accept the difference in this area in life- that we all have different comfort zones, and that we all not like to take a step or two out of this 🧡.

I wish you a great day or evening wherever in the world you are 🧡 Thank you so much for using your time and dropping by my blog today 🧡

See you soon 😊

I manage to buy my ice coffee on my own and even in a store I closely never has been in 😅( this is the photo I also sent my daughter on Snapchat 😊)

When I was out of my favourite ice coffee, I actually needed to move myself a bit out of my “comfort zone” and use another store then I’m use to use 😳😊. It all went well 😅,- but I think it’s a bit important to think about that we all have different comfort zones in life, and what’s not a “big deal” for some can be a big challenge for others when it’s about moving out from different comfort zones in life 🥀.

#mammi #raisingup #growingup #gettingolder #icecoffee #cappuccino favouritecoffe #changes #challenges #comfortzone #differences #lifeis #newexperiences #respect #accept #positivefocus 😊

One year ago- and it’s affecting us all in some or another way 😷

Hi ❣ It’s so nice to see you,- like always 😊 I hope all is fine with you 🧡

The 14. March 2020 Spain closed down the society, the borders and also introduced curfews.

It has been a strange year for most of us all over the world. It has been a difficult year for most of us. We have not struggled with the same challenges or same difficult things, stuffs and situations. But most of us have been through different difficult times during this last year. Let us not forget that 🧡.

Sometimes, actually a bit to often, I get the impression that this corona- situation just affects some very few, but it’s not. It’s not all and everyone that are “yelling and smelling”, complains and crying out loud how difficult their life has become because of the coronavirus and the situation around this. And maybe the once who are most quiet struggling even more?

People have lots their loved ones. People have lost their jobs and income, their safety net. People have lost their homes. People are tired. People are lonely. People are worried.

It has been a strange time in my home too this year, but one thing is for sure,- I have really not been alone or felt of any kind of loneliness 😊. And I’m actually grateful for that 🧡. I have had more “traffic” in my home this year then “ever”, and then without any holiday guests too.

I haven’t lost my job either, even maybe my job- situation as a costumer service agent on the phone will change during this Spring. It will just change to a new company. But at the moment I don’t know when. The dates changes from week to week so I just try to do my best and following up 😊.

I’m still working from my home as a costumer service agent on the phone, and I really hope I can continue doing that for a longer period 🎧. I really like and enjoy to work from my home 😊. I think I have the nicest, most practical and best creative home working corner 🎨🎧.

There has been less to do at my freelance online job the two lasts months. And to be honest, that doesn’t feels very good, because I actually need to have at least a minimum of job to do every week. And the minimum has been lower then the minimum I need. But when that’s said, – it seems to get better now 😊.

I still have my students, and that’s a good thing. And I still teaching them online by Skype.

I’m painting and knitting, and I’m so grateful for having a creative mind and creative corner in my home too, to just “hide my mind” in colours now and then 🎨🧶. And my blog is so great to have as well 🧡.

I haven’t had any visit from Norway the last year, and I miss that, at the same time there hasn’t been any “room” for more people in ny home either 🏡. I’m not sure, I have actually no idea if I will get some visit from family and friends in Norway this year either. And I don’t know if I will manage to travel to Norway and visit my family and friends either.

I really miss my son in the middle a lot, so I hope there will be a possibility to travel to Norway and at least meet him, hug him, and kiss him a bit 💙.

I really don’t like to use face mask. And because of that I actually don’t “walk out” more then necessary. I go to the food store, the farmacia and also for buy paint and yarn 🎨🧶. And I go for a walk outside now and then too, because I need it, my body and mind need it.

It has been so many different restrictions during the last year that I have actually probably with remember what kind of changes and new restrictions I need to follow. So just to be “on the safe side”, I take my walks between 10.00 and 18.00. I do my shopping before 18.00, and I don’t cross the city borders more then really when it is necessary, like when I needed to travel to Madrid. I know the city borders are open now, but I also know they will close down again and new restrictions are coming up before the Easter 🐣. But I don’t remember the dates anymore, it’s to many changes to follow up when it comes to remember the new restrictions.

I’m miss to meet my friends here in Spain, at the same time as it’s possible for us to visit each other, as well as meet up on a cafe or restaurant, at least until 18.00 or 21 30? I don’t remember 😅. And I do still meet my friends, most of them, but not as much as we did meet up 12 months ago, and not at the same way 😊. And to be honest, I prefer that my friends visiting me in my home, or maybe we can meet up at a cafe now and then too 😊.

For me it’s most difficult is this feeling of not be able to create or make to many plans for the next week, weeks or month and months. It’s not possible because we have no idea what will happen. Or it’s possible, but the chances that the plans needs to change are very big. Then it’s easier to not make or create to many plans, it’s less that needs to be changed.

I have different things I want to plan, but I have put some “on hold”.

And I need to admit I’m incredibly tired now. I feel I closely don’t have a tiny drope of energy left. Probably I have some left one place 😊. But I’m not sure if I’m incredibly tired of the whole corona- situation or because there has been a lots of traffic in my home actually during the last 18 months, not just since March 2020. It has been moving in and out from my home the last 18 months. I think it’s probably a combination of both, but I think it’s mostly because of the traffic in my home I’m so, so tired now 🏡. I’m very grateful for the traffic and the incredible, amazing and fantastic people who have been living in my home during the last year 🧡, but I hope it’s still allowed to be very, very tired at the same time? 😴

I’m looking forward to hopefully get a bit more control and overview over my private economy now when I’m on my own. It’s not easy when I also try to help out this young adults as best as I can, and my “food box” in the kitchen really varies from week or month for how much food it needs to contain to “all and everyone ” 😊. As well as the use of the water or electricity 💡.

And I’m looking forward to try start to do regular workout and exercises again 🤸‍♀️. That one has not been easy to “follow up” together with the traffic in my home the last year 😊.

I have my thoughts about the future, and I don’t feel to comfortable with all this changes in our society and lifes. I’m actually not sure how to deal with them, I just try to do my best with the things I have and know 😊. And I’m very grateful for what I have 🧡. And all in all I actually have not very much to complain about, but a lot to be grateful for ❤.

Hopefully things will be easier little by little, and step by step this year for us all 🧡.

I’m sending you a lots of good thoughts, and wish you a great day or evening wherever in the world you are 🧡. Thank you so much for using your time and dropping by my blog today too 🧡.

See you soon 😊

Spring flowers from one of my afternoon walks- done before 18.00 😊.

It’s one years since the society and life in Spain changed, and in a way “stopped up” 🚫. It’s in general around one year for all of us around the world since our life- situations changed in one or another way 🌍. Hopefully things will be a bit easier, new and positive changes are showing up, slowly and probably step by step, but I choose to believe that they are “on the way”,- like the Spring flowers are 🥀.

#coronavirus #Covid19 #changes #family #friends #myhome #challenges #livinginspain #lifeis #myblog #mylife #lifesituation #society #differences #difficult #affecting #coronasituation #Covid19 #lifechanges #lifeexperiences #differentexperinces #experiences #positivefocus 🍀