Where does the road go in my life now? 🛤💚

Hi ❣ It’s so nice to see you,- like always 😊 I hope all is fine with you 🧡

Like I mention in my last post,- I’m standing on the start line into a new era in my life. At the moment I’m standing and I choose to stand for a tiny little while too, because I just need to do this for myself. I need to feel on my feelings before I start “moving” in one or another direction in my life.

In one way I have some of the same thoughts I had when I was a teenager and was standing on the start line to be a young adult. What to do? Where to go? What can I expect? How do I do this? What do I want? Where do I want “go”? How to “get there”? What will happen there in the future? And so on. Maybe you recognize some of my thoughts from when you was a teenager and on the start line into the young adult life too? 🤔

To be honest,- I think I’m thinking a bit more about this different questions now then I actually did when I was a teenager and on my way to the young adult life. When I was a on my way to be a young adult I lived a bit more in the moment then I’m doing now. And I was also a bit more “what happens happens, it will probably be fun anyway” 😊.

I still think I have a very exciting time in front of me, and I still think I will meet on a lots of joy, fun and happiness,- but I’m probably a bit more conscious of my thoughts, my feelings, and hopefully my choices further too, – than for for example around 30 years ago 😊.

Will I continue be living in Spain? Work as an customer service agent, private teacher and freelance writer? 🎧📝 I have two of my three children here in Spain. At least at the moment,- but I don’t know what they’re plans will be in the future.

Or am I going to move back to Norway? Try to find a job as a teacher or maybe work in the home- nursery or at nursery home? 📚💉 I have one child in Norway, and I really do miss him, at the same time he is living his own life, and I’m not going to be the same part in his life as I was just some few years ago.

Or maybe I’m going to get the opportunity to move to California and squeeze some grapes into wine? 🍇🍷 Or maybe Ireland and visit the leprechaun 🧚‍♂️?

At the moment I don’t know what or where,- and at the moment I actually can’t take any choices either. At the moment I’m in a bit “emotional place” in my life and then it’s not the correct time to make to many and to big choices, elections and decisions in my life and for my future.

What I do know is that I’m going to live in the home I’m living in for a time now. I’m not ready to move anywhere at the moment,- and one of the reasons for that is because it has already been a bit moving in and out from this home during the last 18 months, – even it’s not me that has moved in and out 😊. I just need to have a tiny while of not to much moving “here and there”, just in way to “calm down” 😊.

But I’m actually not sure if I want to continue living in Spain or work as a costumer service agent “for ever”. Or as a private teacher either. But I’m not very tempted to move back to Norway either and work as a teacher or in the home- nursery up there in the North.

At the moment I feel I’m finish with being a teacher and to work in the home nursery, and also as a costumer service agent. But don’t we all have that now and then where you are a bit tired of your job?

And of course,- I’m also a bit “touched” with some emotional feelings because I’m standing on a finish line for one era in my life, as well as a starting line into a new era in my life 😊. So I’m probably not in “the best place” in my life to make any big decisions at the moment either 😊.

I know when we are turning the page on the calendar to August I’m finish working for the department I’m working in. It’s closing down in Norway. But I also know that the company I’m working for have an obligation to try to find an other job to me in the company as long as I have been an employer for more than 6 months,- something I have. But at the same time,- we are living in a corona- situation,- so it’s difficult to tell to much about the future too. I’m can assume what’s in front me until August, but after August I actually have no idea at the moment.

At the moment I have just decided to not do to much of anything, not make to many work- or moving plans or decisions, – just do my work where I’m working, be a private teacher and do my online freelance work, and live in the home I’m living in. Then I see what’s coming up, or what’s happen. I don’t know,- I don’t know if “the road” in the future will be in Spain or Norway or California or maybe another place.

What I do know is that I actually like to work with creative things, and people too,- and I like to see progression in my work too. But my weakness, or strength, is to create, be creative and see a result of my job.  A product.  My dream is really to be able to feed myself on something I make, write, create, paint – or even “squeeze” some grapes into wine? But is something of this actually possible, special because we are living in a corona- situation?

When that’s said,- of course I have seen a lots of great positive progressions in both my work as a teacher as well as in the home nursery 😊. But it’s a different kind of progression.

I want and I like to create, own a product, is a (physical) result of what I do, what I work with.  (ex- paint, knit, write, maybe make wine). But it possible to work and live from something like that? I don’t know.

I do not know what my future will bring me, – but something that contains both joy, happiness and probably a bit new knowledge as well as wisdom, and some changes too.

At the moment I take one tiny step at the time, one from an era that’s over and one into an era that’s started 💚. I need to find my balance in my life before I take to many decisions about my future 😊.

I wish you a great day or evening wherever in the world you are 🧡 Thank you so much for using your time and dropping by my blog today 🧡

See you soon 😊

I’m just going to take one step at the time – one from an era in my life that’s over, and one into the new era in my life 😊.

I don’t know what to future will bring me,- and I don’t know what kind of changes, choices or directions I’m going to do or take 😊. At the moment I just take one step from an era in my life that’s over, and one step at the time into a new era in my life 💚

#changes #directions #choices #lifeis #livinginspain #Norwegian #era #gettingolder #menopause #midlife #erainlife #me #future #questions #thelife #thougths #reflections #positivefocus 💚

I feel on a kind of sadness 💙💙❤

Hi ❣ It’s so nice to see you,- like always 😊 I hope all is fine with you 🧡

I feel on a kind of sadness inside me. Not sadness over new wrinkles or lighter hair, or hormones balance that’s changing. But a kind of sadness that an era in my life is over. The era to be a fulltime mammi. This is over.

I’m still my children’s mammi, I’m always going to be that, but not in the same way I have been for closely 27 years.

I’m actually not sad over the fact that my children are young adults and live on they own either,- but because an era in my life is over, and this time will never come back.

Maybe it sounds strange to feel on sadness, but at the same time still not be sad? Or feel in a kind of grief while not being grieving? But that’s still the way I feel inside me,- because I’m a mammi and because an era in my life is over for always.

I think it’s just someone who have been in the same situation as me that actually will understand what I mean- when it comes to feel on sadness and grief, but not be sad or grieving, because of a era in life is over.

It’s not like I go around and cry all the time, or want my children to move back home again. I’m good in that way,- this is something I feel inside me, in my heart, soul and thoughts, and it’s actually difficult to explain. And I allow myself to feel this without too much interference and influence from outsiders too.

I’m very grateful for all the time, the years, the memories my children and me have together ❤. And I know we will create new memories together too, but in a different way then before 😊.

The sadness is over a time that’s over. An incredible fantastic time together, but also an incredible busy and hard days as a single mammi. I don’t miss the business, at the same time I’m very happy I know I tried my very best to follow up and raise all my three children in different eras in their life ❤.

I hope, think, believe and actually see my children has got a lots of good things and stuffs in their “bagback” from growing up together with me 😊. But of course I also think about all the things I could and should done differently when they was children and growing up. As well as when they was teenagers and on their way to be young adults.

It’s many things I should wish I could done differently, at the same time as I can’t go back to the past and change anything. And I can’t bother myself with thoughts like that either- then I’m going to be “nuts” in my head.

What I can do is to be grateful for being their mammi and for the marvellous young adults they all three are become ❤. And I’m, as I mention, incredibly grateful for all our time and memories together ❤. But I’m also going to allow myself to feel on this sadness and a kind of grief I have inside me for an era in my life that’s over, and use the time I need to use on “this” feelings.

I know this sadness and feeling of grief will change and be different, but I’m using the time I need to “go through” this feeling of sadness and grief inside me in my own way. And like I mention, – it’s difficult to explain how, why and what I’m feeling, it’s just feelings inside me and an era in my life that’s are over together with my children, an era who will never come back, – and that’s the way it is, and that’s the way the life is too 💚.

And now I stand on the starts line to an new era in my life, and at the moment I choose to just stand there a bit too, on the starts line, and feel a bit over emotions and thoughts in relation to a time that is over, before I choose to find any new directions in my life, and start on a new era in my life 💚.

I wish you a great day or evening wherever in the world you are 🧡 Thank you so much for using your time and dropping by my blog today 🧡

See you soon 😊

A photo from a photo- so not the best photo,- but still from one of many best memories in my life as a mammi and together with my three children ❤. (I think this is around 12- 13 years ago) 😊

I stand on the starts line to an new era in my life, and at the moment I choose to just stand there a bit, on the starts line, and feel a bit over emotions and thoughts in relation to a time that is over, before I choose to find any new directions in my life, and start on a new era in my life 💚.

#era #raisingup #growingup #mammi #mammifeelings #gettingolder #Norwegian #feelings #thougths #livinginspain #lifeis #mychildren #happiness #joy #feelinggrateful #feelinglucky #sadness #lifeischanging #lifeexperiences #changes #challenges #positivefocus