Mid age and midlife crisis 🥀

Hi ❣ It’s so nice to see you,- like always 😊 I hope all is fine with you 🧡

The midlife crisis is no joke.  It can be a pretty tough mental process for many, especially men.  Unfortunately, it turns out that there is a fairly high suicide rate among men who are going through the midlife crisis.  And the average age, worldwide, is 47, 2 years. 

Unfortunately it’s in general men, all over the world, that’s struggling most during this “status in the life period” in life. But of course women too, but maybe in a different way? And it is not “all and everyone” that goes through a mental crisis in the mid age either.

Often is the reason why some feel the mid age are so hard are feelings like unsuccessful, hopelessness over different dreams that hasn’t come through, wishes that’s feels not fulfilled and they are in the middle of the life,- and get a feeling that the life is over. But the middle of the life is not the end. It is the middle of the life. At the same time I can understand this painful feelings inside many fells during this period in life.

Why do so many feel on this bad feelings and thoughts, and also some choose suicide as a “resort” and “solution”? I don’t know, I don’t have the answers, but I can actually really understand this feeling of unsuccessful in life. The hopelessness when dreams and wishes feels like they are not fulfilled, and the feeling of lost youth, and  thoughts  about  a frightening and unknown old age can scares “anyone”, the feeling of not reaching, lack of happiness, depression, emptiness, a feeling of not reaching, and whether one has children – the children who move out, and a home that feels empty. It can be a lots to process at the same time,- as well as there often also are a economic and money “issue”. The economy is not in the direction that is was wishes for in this age.

It’s a kind of feeling that the life is over, and it’s not possible to reach any dreams, wishes and goals anymore, or have any hopes. But it is 😊. Just think about what you actually have manage to do during your 45- 50 years of living? Then it should be possible to “squeeze” in a bit more during the at least next 30- 40 years of your life? Maybe in a bit slower tempo,- but so? 😊

I think I have had my “midlife crisis” in my life, already. This crisis where you actually think you can’t manage anymore, not a tiny little challenge more, at the same time as you feel failed in the economic and material field.  This, unfortunately, is one of the reasons why many, special men choose suicide as a solution instead of the feeling of unsuccessful.

I’m not a man,-, but when I was around 39- 40 I was in “this place” in my life. This incredible painful feeling of being unsuccessful in so many area in my life. It felt more heavy that I could manage. I even planned how and where to do it,- three different times. To try to end this   incredible painful feeling inside me.

The reason why I didn’t manage it was the thoughts of my children. I couldn’t just leave them either, in away alone in the world, and I also knew that my children would never understood why I had left them like that, because of economy, money and material issues. The incredibly painful feeling of unsuccessful. But it was hard, and I can really understand this feeling of being unsuccessful and actually not be able to “see the light in the tunnel”. But “the light  is there”, I know it’s there. So fight as best as you can during  this  hard part of the midlife crisis 💛.

So yes, I know. I know how it feels to not manage life anymore. To not see solutions. To feel useless and unsuccessful. To feel not worthy a shit. But,- still, – I can now say,- life feels good, – even with “the baggage” I have,- but now I slowly try to let go, step by step, trying to leave one heavy part down in the road and let it be there.

Hopefully that was my midlife crisis, and hopefully I will not be in that place in my life again. I actually don’t think so,- I will be in a place like that again,- but I can’t know.

I’m still not successful in the general term of success and successfulness, and m not rich on material things or have a lots of money in my bank account, – but it doesn’t matter anymore 😊. I’m fine,- I have what I need and still do my best to reach my different goals, wishes and dreams in my life. And I know I work hard to keep it going.

I can also imagine that to be in the midlife crisis during an pandemi must be even harder than without an pandemi. So many people has lost their homes, jobs, safety net and different things in life that’s in a way did defined their successes in their life.

I think it’s difficult to have dreams, wishes and goals to work for now at days,- and now and then I’m also “losing” it a bit,- but I try my best to focus on the positive things and try my best to keep the hope alive inside me 😊.

An other part of the midlife crisis is for many women when their children are moving out, and the home feels incredibly empty, silent and the “mammi routines” aren’t there anymore. It’s like “What to do now?”🤔

I don’t have unfortunately, any wise advice to give when someone are goes through a heavy midlife crisis and struggling with keeping things, lifes, their self together, in on or another way. I’m very sorry for that. The only advice I have is,- don’t give up. Look for the small, nice and positive things in a day. It doesn’t need to be so much,- but if you sample the small things they will be much together 💛. And life is always changing, it’s ups and downs, and I know some downs can be pretty hard too 😔. But after a down, there will come an ups,- if not the downs hasn’t been there. I know it’s not easy, I really know that- but it’s worth to at least try and give yourself some time too. It takes time to get out of the cold dark midlife crisis. But it’s possible 😊.

Like I mention earlier in my text,- I’m thinking about what I actually have manage to “squeezed” into my 48 years long life so fare. And it’s actually a bit 😊. Then I think I will probably manage to “squeeze” in a bit more,- even I at the moment are not sure what I want to “squeeze” in. But I will find that if I give myself a bit of time 😊.

Some will also probably think I’m not successful in life,- but in my life I’m in my own way successful, – so that’s fine and good enough for me 😊. It’s my life, and it’s me that needs to be and feel successful in my life,- I don’t need to be that for someone else 😊.

It was actually a bit difficult to explain and write about the midlife crisis, but I hope you got “the essence” of what I wanted to write about and tell? 🥀

I know midlife crisis can be challenging, and I haven’t the best solutions for how to “survive” it,- my best advice is to talk with someone, get some help to sort out your feelings and thoughts,- because you are actually not alone at all to go through a midlife crisis 🧡.

I wish you a great day or evening wherever in the world you are 🧡 Thank you so much for using your time and dropping by my blog today 🧡

See you soon 😊

Roses from my patio- a kind of reminder that I’m in a new flowering in my life- and not like a “fallen” flower eith mo future anymore 🌹

Many people all around the world goes through a midlife crisis, and it can be a pretty hard personal crisis too for some 😔. I have been there my self,- some years ago. But now I choose to look at this new period in my life as a new flowering in my life 🌹.

#gettingolder #menopause #midlife #lifeexperiences #changes #challenges #midlifecrise #hardtime #solutions #hope #optimism #lifeis #thelife #experiences #differences #midage #newflowringinlife 🌹

Orange is orange,- or? 🍊

Hi ❣ It’s so nice to see you,- like always 😊 I hope all is fine with you 🧡

Orange can be different kinds of things like for example a fruit or a colour and also a company 📱.

I like the fruit 🍊, but I’m not the biggest fan of the colour, and even less fan of the company with this name.

Like I mention in my post “March month tends to argue a little” it was a couple of challenges during March, but not worse then can be fixed 😊. Sometimes it’s just take a bit time to get them fixed ( like my shower- text is coming)😊.

I have been using a mobile and internet company with this “fruit” name, but I have tried to change a couple of times, because I had not been to happy with the company. It’s incredibly expensive and I never got an invoice with any explanation for what I actually was paying for,- even I asked many times. Also the chaning- process has this “fruit” company manage to avoid or in a strange way stopped.

My internet turned on/ off several of times, and could be off for weeks before the company actually did fixed it 😳. And it’s a bit important for me to have a functional internet in my home because I’m working from my home 🏡. No internet, no income. And there had been some other challenges too with this company.

I manage to change internet and mobile company some months ago 😊, and also stop the automatic transmission/ payment from my bank account to this “fruit” company. But suddenly this company for some strange reason manage to charge my bank account anyway last month, and then actually months after I had changed to another company, and finish being their customer 😳.

For some it probably don’t sound like a big amount or a big deal to be charged for 50 euro for something I don’t have or use. But for me 50 euro is food for more then a week 😳. And I’m not their costumer anymore either, haven’t been for some months actually. And the monthly payment was actually twice as much when I was customer in this company 😳.

In my mind it was a bit rude to do this. So I went to my bank and got my money back. I had the signed paper that my bank can’t charge anything more from me and my bank account to this “fruit” company. So I got my money back. Like I mention, – it was not a big deal and it was possible to fix it, but in that moment it felt like a tiny little big deal for me.

It’s not very often I don’t reccomend a company for someone, but when it comes to this company I will not recommend it to anyone. But that’s because of my experiences with the company. Some other customers can have the opposite experiences then me and probably can and will reccomend this company 🍊. But that’s the way it is, – we reccomend things based on our experiences. At least I do. I don’t know what you do?

Hopefully I’m finish with this company now, but I have some doubts too. I think there will be some calls from them and offers so I can became their customer again. At the moment I’m not going to be that. I’m very happy with the not “fruit” company I’m using for my internet and mobile now 😊. So fare so good 😊.

I wish you a great day or evening wherever in the world you are 🧡 Thank you so much for using your time and dropping by my blog today 🧡

See you soon 😊

We do our recommendation based on our own experiences most of the time 🍊🍋

When or if I give an recommendation to someone the recommendation is in general based on my own experiences 🍊. I recommend orange, the fruit, because I like it, but it’s not sure someone else like it to much 🍋.

#company #recomanmendation #work #workingfromhome #experiences #differences #lifeis #thatslife 😊

Welcome April with the Spring 🥀🐣 Thank you March for the different experiences 😊🐦

Hi ❣ It’s so nice to see you,- like always 😊 I hope all is fine with you 🧡

April is knocking on the door and has already started. I like it when we turn to April and the Spring. It’s getting lighter, warmer and more colours in the nature. Flowers are growing up and the trees get soft, greens leafs 🍃.

I can say Thank you so much March 🥀. Not one of my favourite months, but still I need to say it became a pretty good month 😊.

I went to Madrid on my own, a trip I didn’t looked very much forward too, but it became a very good trip 🚂. And my daughter moved out and to her own apartment, and enjoying her young adult life 🏠. My son in the middle got a permanent working contract in Norway, and I’m incredibly happy for him 🥰. And my oldest son was on a visit too, an did also helped me out with a couple of things in my home 🏡.

The plan was that I was going to change my working situations too as a costumer service agent in March. Lucky for me this plans changed back again so I can continue working for the same department as well as from my home some more months , something I’m both relieved over as well as thankful for 🎧💻. But,- wow,- there has been some pretty busy days on the phone line the last days, actually last two weeks 🎧.

I have used some really good quality time together with some of my friends 🥰, as well as time to paint, knit and writing in my blog 🎨🧶. And a bit time to sleeping too, actually a lot 😴.

The freelance work situation is a bit better then it has been so fare during this year. But my economy is still a bit pressed, but for some reasons I’m not so stressed as I in general became when there’s a bit to much press on my money. I don’t know why I’m not stressed, but it feels so good to not be stressed. One reason why I don’t feel on this stress that’s I normally get under “economic situations” like this, can be because I’m only taking care of myself now, and then it’s a bit easier to deal with not to much money when it’s just me 😊.

I have had some very fast, but nice walking trips to the work office, and I also had some “company” in my patio even that one “disappear a bit to fast 😔.

So Thank you so much, March,- it was actually very nice to meet you after all 🍂🌷.

And I wish you very Welcome April with the soft Spring in the air 🍃🥀. I’m not sure what this month will bring me,- but I know the month starts with some Easter Holiday, and that feels very good. It’s going to be great with some day “off” as customer service agent 🎧.

I know my oldest son is going to drop by one of the days, as well as my daughter. It will be great to see them both again as always 🥰.

My plan for April is work as much as I can with the freelance work. That’s the first priority. Then it’s painting, knitting, spent time together with my friends- and all this have the same priority for me, even its different things- they still gives me a lots of joy, happiness and positive energies 💚.

And yes,- make good plans, both over the days, weeks and hopefully months too 😊. And try to start with as regular workout and exercises routines as possible- that one will be hard, I just know it, feel it in all of my body 😅. But it’s necessary too, for both my body and my mind 😊.

I can’t actually imagine that there will be to many changes and challenges in front of me now,- but as we all know, – life is, and life is filled up with different kinds of suprices 🙏. So I can’t be sure on anything actually, but I can hope and wish for some “easy going” days, weeks, months now 🧡🙏.

I wish you a great day or evening wherever in the world you are 🧡 Thank you so much for using your time and dropping by my blog today 🧡

See you soon 😊

Flowers from March month 🥀

Thank you so much, March 🥀- not one of my favourite months became not to bad at all 💚. I wish April very welcome together with the soft Spring air 🍃. I don’t know what the days and weeks will bring, but hopefully not to many changes and challenges now 🙏🧡.

#march #april #lifeis #myblog #mylife #mypost #lifeexperiences #changes #challenges #experiences #positivefocus #lifeisgood #thelife #thedailylife #feelinggrateful #feelinglucky #feelingthankful 🧡🙏

A nice glass of wine, good memories and great conversations 🍷😊

Hi ❣ It’s so nice to see you,- like 😊 I hope all is fine with you 🧡

I’m trying to enjoy my life in between my work and work,- and did spent a really nice afternoon together with a good Norwegian friend of my, over a tasty glass of white wine 🥂.

A tasty glass of white wine together with a friend 😊

It has been a while since we have been meeting up, but that’s because of something called coronavirus, restrictions and actually also this “age- process”. This “age- process”, also called menopause, does now and then, something with the “need” of socialisation- but we can drop by that subject an other time 😊.

We both have been single mams for our children for many years. She have two kids- a girl and a boy, and they are at the same ages as my two youngest.

Our children went to the same school, and also spent some of their time off from school together. Her son and my daughter was actually young sweethearts together too 🥰. I know her children and she knows all my 3 children, so it feels a bit familiar too. And our daughters are working together now at the same company as well 😊.

So we have a bit to talk about, both good memories and in so many ways the same experiences too, and of course the life in general…..and well, we did drop by the menopause too 😅. Maybe natural enough since we are both “tumbling” around in this strange and new “age- process”. I’m in the early beginning and she is slowly reaching a kind the “end” of menopause. I think she is around 10 years older then me,- and I’m grateful for having the possibility to ask her different questions about this “getting older process” 😊. But I’m more grateful for just spending time together with her, have a glass of wine and nice conversations.

It was a really nice afternoon over a glass of white wine together with a good friend, good conversations and some good memories too 😊.

I did walk down to the centre and I had a nice walk home as well. I actually did what my kids did teach me when we was for a walk, trip or travel. They did teach my to enjoy the moment, take a look around and just create something out of the walk, trip or travel- like a tiny small adventure in the moment, – if you understand what I mean? 😊.

You know how kids can ask different questions, – like what, when, where, why and so on. It can actually be a bit irritating to be honest 😅,- but when I started to just “enjoy” my kids curiosity, their joy over small “experiences” on the trip, and just looking around me, the trip can contain many small, nice and on its own way exciting details.  Details my kids taught me to look at and enjoy with their various questions and curiosity 😊.

And I had a walk like that on my way back home this afternoon after a glass of wine together with my friend 😊. I actually made a choice to try to have a walk like this on my way home, a walk like a tiny, tiny adventure 😊.

I enjoyed the flowers, and I enjoyed the view over the tivoli and the colours over the sunset. I meet actually a a peacock too on my way home, and I did drop by the food store and bought me a pizza ….with pineapple 🍍. Because suddenly it dropped my mind that I can eat my pizza with pineapple now when I’m living on my own and don’t need to share the pizza together with my daughter ( who not like pineapple on the pizza) 😊.

So yes,- I had a really exciting and nice afternoon,- met up with a good friend, had some good conversations, and in my own way I actually was on a tiny “exploring walk” on my way back home 😊.

Like I have mention before, it’s not the “big things” that’s actually “create” the day, or even the good memories,- it can just be the tasty glass of wine together with a friend, or the nice flowers in the road, or be able to enjoy pineapple on the pizza 🍕

It’s just to try to take a look around, but I also know it’s not always easy to “just” take this look around, see or realise the or those good moments in the day. I don’t think that myself either, but I’m trying my best, because it gives me a bit more good and positive feelings 🧡.

I wish you a great day or evening wherever in the world you are 🧡 Thank you so much for using your time and dropping by my blog today 🧡

See you soon 😊.

Look what I manage to “explore” and enjoy on my 20 minutes walk home 😊. I’m enjoying my life as best as I can 🧡

I’m enjoying my life as best as I can 😊. I’m enjoying the flowers in the road as well as the tasty glass of wine together with my friend 🥀. It’s not always easy to see the tiny small details that actually can create the day 😊. And some of this “possibility” to enjoy the details in a day did my kids teach me with all their curious questions when they was children,- and now I’m trying to the the same in my own way 🦋😊.

#experiences #positivefocus #lifeisgood #thelife #life #myblog #mylife #mypost #lifeexperiences #changes #friends #familiar #adventurer #exploring #friendship #glassofwine #enjoyinglife #mychildren #goodconversations #gettingolder #lifeisfine 🦋

One year ago- and it’s affecting us all in some or another way 😷

Hi ❣ It’s so nice to see you,- like always 😊 I hope all is fine with you 🧡

The 14. March 2020 Spain closed down the society, the borders and also introduced curfews.

It has been a strange year for most of us all over the world. It has been a difficult year for most of us. We have not struggled with the same challenges or same difficult things, stuffs and situations. But most of us have been through different difficult times during this last year. Let us not forget that 🧡.

Sometimes, actually a bit to often, I get the impression that this corona- situation just affects some very few, but it’s not. It’s not all and everyone that are “yelling and smelling”, complains and crying out loud how difficult their life has become because of the coronavirus and the situation around this. And maybe the once who are most quiet struggling even more?

People have lots their loved ones. People have lost their jobs and income, their safety net. People have lost their homes. People are tired. People are lonely. People are worried.

It has been a strange time in my home too this year, but one thing is for sure,- I have really not been alone or felt of any kind of loneliness 😊. And I’m actually grateful for that 🧡. I have had more “traffic” in my home this year then “ever”, and then without any holiday guests too.

I haven’t lost my job either, even maybe my job- situation as a costumer service agent on the phone will change during this Spring. It will just change to a new company. But at the moment I don’t know when. The dates changes from week to week so I just try to do my best and following up 😊.

I’m still working from my home as a costumer service agent on the phone, and I really hope I can continue doing that for a longer period 🎧. I really like and enjoy to work from my home 😊. I think I have the nicest, most practical and best creative home working corner 🎨🎧.

There has been less to do at my freelance online job the two lasts months. And to be honest, that doesn’t feels very good, because I actually need to have at least a minimum of job to do every week. And the minimum has been lower then the minimum I need. But when that’s said, – it seems to get better now 😊.

I still have my students, and that’s a good thing. And I still teaching them online by Skype.

I’m painting and knitting, and I’m so grateful for having a creative mind and creative corner in my home too, to just “hide my mind” in colours now and then 🎨🧶. And my blog is so great to have as well 🧡.

I haven’t had any visit from Norway the last year, and I miss that, at the same time there hasn’t been any “room” for more people in ny home either 🏡. I’m not sure, I have actually no idea if I will get some visit from family and friends in Norway this year either. And I don’t know if I will manage to travel to Norway and visit my family and friends either.

I really miss my son in the middle a lot, so I hope there will be a possibility to travel to Norway and at least meet him, hug him, and kiss him a bit 💙.

I really don’t like to use face mask. And because of that I actually don’t “walk out” more then necessary. I go to the food store, the farmacia and also for buy paint and yarn 🎨🧶. And I go for a walk outside now and then too, because I need it, my body and mind need it.

It has been so many different restrictions during the last year that I have actually probably with remember what kind of changes and new restrictions I need to follow. So just to be “on the safe side”, I take my walks between 10.00 and 18.00. I do my shopping before 18.00, and I don’t cross the city borders more then really when it is necessary, like when I needed to travel to Madrid. I know the city borders are open now, but I also know they will close down again and new restrictions are coming up before the Easter 🐣. But I don’t remember the dates anymore, it’s to many changes to follow up when it comes to remember the new restrictions.

I’m miss to meet my friends here in Spain, at the same time as it’s possible for us to visit each other, as well as meet up on a cafe or restaurant, at least until 18.00 or 21 30? I don’t remember 😅. And I do still meet my friends, most of them, but not as much as we did meet up 12 months ago, and not at the same way 😊. And to be honest, I prefer that my friends visiting me in my home, or maybe we can meet up at a cafe now and then too 😊.

For me it’s most difficult is this feeling of not be able to create or make to many plans for the next week, weeks or month and months. It’s not possible because we have no idea what will happen. Or it’s possible, but the chances that the plans needs to change are very big. Then it’s easier to not make or create to many plans, it’s less that needs to be changed.

I have different things I want to plan, but I have put some “on hold”.

And I need to admit I’m incredibly tired now. I feel I closely don’t have a tiny drope of energy left. Probably I have some left one place 😊. But I’m not sure if I’m incredibly tired of the whole corona- situation or because there has been a lots of traffic in my home actually during the last 18 months, not just since March 2020. It has been moving in and out from my home the last 18 months. I think it’s probably a combination of both, but I think it’s mostly because of the traffic in my home I’m so, so tired now 🏡. I’m very grateful for the traffic and the incredible, amazing and fantastic people who have been living in my home during the last year 🧡, but I hope it’s still allowed to be very, very tired at the same time? 😴

I’m looking forward to hopefully get a bit more control and overview over my private economy now when I’m on my own. It’s not easy when I also try to help out this young adults as best as I can, and my “food box” in the kitchen really varies from week or month for how much food it needs to contain to “all and everyone ” 😊. As well as the use of the water or electricity 💡.

And I’m looking forward to try start to do regular workout and exercises again 🤸‍♀️. That one has not been easy to “follow up” together with the traffic in my home the last year 😊.

I have my thoughts about the future, and I don’t feel to comfortable with all this changes in our society and lifes. I’m actually not sure how to deal with them, I just try to do my best with the things I have and know 😊. And I’m very grateful for what I have 🧡. And all in all I actually have not very much to complain about, but a lot to be grateful for ❤.

Hopefully things will be easier little by little, and step by step this year for us all 🧡.

I’m sending you a lots of good thoughts, and wish you a great day or evening wherever in the world you are 🧡. Thank you so much for using your time and dropping by my blog today too 🧡.

See you soon 😊

Spring flowers from one of my afternoon walks- done before 18.00 😊.

It’s one years since the society and life in Spain changed, and in a way “stopped up” 🚫. It’s in general around one year for all of us around the world since our life- situations changed in one or another way 🌍. Hopefully things will be a bit easier, new and positive changes are showing up, slowly and probably step by step, but I choose to believe that they are “on the way”,- like the Spring flowers are 🥀.

#coronavirus #Covid19 #changes #family #friends #myhome #challenges #livinginspain #lifeis #myblog #mylife #lifesituation #society #differences #difficult #affecting #coronasituation #Covid19 #lifechanges #lifeexperiences #differentexperinces #experiences #positivefocus 🍀