Today it’s my daughter’s day 🎈🎉🥰

Hi ❣ It’s so nice to see you,- like always 😊 I hope all is fine with you 🧡

The time flies 🛫. Today it’s 21 years since I hold my daughter in my arms for the first time 🥰. My third and last little baby duck is not so much baby duck anymore,- she is actually a young woman at the age of 21.

She was like a tiny little doll when she was born, the sweetest baby girl I have ever seen 🥰. And she was mine, and of course her daddy’s , little girl too. She was born in the same birth room at the same hospital that her oldest brother, but not on the same date or time. Or all my three children are actually born on a Friday for some reason.

I remember the new year evening in 1999 when we turned into 2000, my ex husband, me, my/ our sons and his two older daughters was standing outside and looked at the beautiful and colorful fireworks that brought us from 1999 to 2000. I stood and thought of everyone who wanted a “2000 child”, “a millennium year baby”, and I felt that I was so happy and glad I was not “there” anymore, that I was very happy and grateful for my two healthy, wild, lovely, fantastic and imaginative sons 💙💙.

But still for some reasons more and less 11 months later I did have this “a millennium year baby” I was so happy for I was not going to “struggle” to be pregnant with during 2000 😅. Probably she should in her own way “complete” the family – and I can just say I/ we did wish her so very, very welcome into our life, and I/ we are so incredibly grateful for this very, very sweet and nice “suprice” in 2000 ❤.

She has always been a very quiet, nice and smiling girl. Not a lots of crying and not a lots of challenges when she grew up. Maybe the biggest “challenge” when she did grew up was her selective mutisme? But she managed to “deal” with that one in her own way, little by little, and step by step, and of course also with some help from professionals in the field too.

She was a bit worried for her birthday this year, today. That it shouldn’t be a too nice day, something I can understand. The last year, last 11- 12 months hasn’t been the easiest for her and have given her some bit of challenges in her young life. But out from the different challenges there’s also growing up a strong, young woman who maybe have a bit more experiences in life, a bit more life experiences then other people at her age. And from life experiences there also grows up knowledge and wisdom 💛.

It is during different challenges we also learn about the life and about our self, how to handle and deal with different things, stuffs and situations in life, and also different people we meet on our “road”.

But of course as her mammi I can say I should really wish she was without some of the different challenges and experiences she has been through, at the same time as I know the different changes, challenges and experiences in my daughter’s life also has given her strength, knowledge and wisdom 💛.

It was a happy birthday “girl” I brought in some chocolate cake and a gift to this morning 🥰. She was happy because she was remembered from her friends “here and there and every where”, as well as her family both in Norway as well as in Spain remember her today 😊. And of course I choose to believe that the birthday chocolate cake I did “served” to her in her bed this morning, like I did when she was younger, also “made” her day a tiny bit 😊.

My daughter is 21 year today- it’s her birthday,- and she started her “celebration” with some congratulations from friends, family and colleagues at different social media channels as well as a tiny gift and some chocolate cake from me as a “birthday breakfast” in her bed 🎊🎁

My daughter is a very sweet girl, has a big good heart for both animals and people. She always try to see the good thing in a person as well as help both animals and people in the ways she has the possibility to do. She is a quiet young  woman, with a very good  sense of justice. And she is a young hardworking  woman too. She have different goals in her life and she works hard to get them. And I mean hard. She is “just” 21 year old, and she can easily work  12 hours shift on a Saturday instead of going to a party because she knows that that will bring her closer to her goals. But of course she spent time together with her friends as well in the weekends.

She is going to celebrate her birthday today together with good friends and colleagues this afternoon, and I know she will get an amazing time together with them all 🥰.

My daughter when she was around 5 years old- a sweet , healthy and happy little girl ❤

I’m so grateful for the nice surprise 2000 brought into my life ❤. My love to her is unconditional- and I know she knows that 🧡. I feel so rich and lucky to have her in my life and to be her mammi, and I’m so proud of her and how she handles the different challenges and experiences in her life. And I’m so proud ot being her mammi ❤.

So today I just want to say,- Congratulations with your 21. birthday my amazing and beautiful daughter, my third and last baby duck 🐣. I wish you all the best for every day in your life – for the day today and for all the days you have in front of you ❤. Must the stars shine on you like you shine on and in my days and life ❤🌟.

I wish you all a great day or evening wherever in the world you are 🧡. Thank you so much for using your time and dropping by my blog today 🧡.

See you soon 😊

Birthday- gift and some birthday chocolate cake to my daughter’s 21. Birthday- and a tiny photo dome years ago- her photo to her daily train ticket to her job 😊.

This is a fantastic day for me, and have been every year during the last 21 years,- because my daughter was born ❤. I’m so proud of her, and I feel so incredibly grateful for being this wonderful and fantastic young woman’s mammi ❤. Must the stars shine on you  every day in your life, like you every day shine on and in my days and life ❤🌟. All the best wishes to you from your proud mammi 🥰😘❤.

#birthday #daugther #mydaugther #lifeexperiences #proudmammi #mammi #growingup #gettingolder #Norwegian #livinginspain #lifeis #feelinggrateful #feelinglucky #unconditionallove

He is already 24 years old 😳🎁😘💙

Hi ❣ It’s so nice to see you,- like always 😊 I hope all is fine with you 🧡

I actually need to admit that I needed to count a bit today,- but yes,- my middle son is 24 years today 💙. It’s his birthday, his 24. birthday 😊🎁💙.

The time just flies away,- I still remember the first time I hold him in my arms, and he was so sweet and tiny. A beautiful, beautiful baby boy 💙. My beautiful baby boy 🥰. He is not a baby boy anymore, but a lovely and wonderful young man. But it doesn’t feels like it’s 24 years since that day, that day he was this beautiful, beautiful baby boy, but obviously it is 😊.

My handsome and fantastic son in the middle- already 24 years old 🥰💙.

This year is the third time I’m not celebrating his birthday together with him. But that’s life, and that’s the way it is when the children grows up, getting older, having their own life,- and special when we also are living in two different countries 😊. It feels strange anyway. It feels strange to not bake chocolate cake for him, hug him and kiss him. Well,- I can in a way do that on messenger and what’s up,- but it’s not quite the same 😊. But the chocolate cake needs to wait a bit 🎂. And his birthday presents I have send during the “air”, “the online air” 💰.

He’s living and working in Norway,- and I know he is happy in his life and with his different things in his life, and the goals he has in his life too 🥰. And he reach his different goals too. The different goals he set. Step by step 😊. I’m incredibly proud of him and his attitude, the way he handles the life and the different experiences and knowledge lifes gives him 🥰. And also the fantastic way he handles and take care of the people around him,- family and friends 🥰.

So as long he is fine, I’m fine too, even I do miss him and think about him every day 🥰. And I’m really looking forward to see him again, maybe and hopefully one time during the Spring 2022 🥰.

I did check the planes and if it was a tiny possibility to see each other before, to buy a plane ticket for him to Spain,- but unfortunately he doesn’t have any more holidays left from his job this year, so it’s a bit difficult to travel to Spain then. But I told him ( and his little sister and big brother too) that my wishes for this Christmas was to see, hug, kiss, hold around my son in the middle 🥰. I know it’s probably not going to happen,- but I still wish it 😊. Anyway,- I know we will meet during the Spring 2022- so I have something incredible fantastic to look forward too- my son in the middle 💙.

I wish him all the best,- for his birthday, with his dreams and goals, all and everything in his life 🥰.

I feel so rich and lucky to be his mammi. He has given me so much joy and happiness in my life, and he still does 🥰. And I’m so proud of him, the fantastic young man he has become, and so proud to be his mammi- it’s like I quite can’t understand that this marvellous young man is actually my son and I’m the lucky and grateful mammi 💙.

My love for him, my love to him is so unconditional- and I know he knows that ❤💙❤.

So today I just want to say,- Congratulations with your 24. birthday my fantastic and beautiful son in the middle 💙. I wish you all the best for every day in your life – for the day today and for all the days you have in front of you ❤. Must the stars shine on you like you shine on and in my days and life ❤🌟.

I wish you a great day or evening wherever in the world you are 🧡 Thank you so much for using your time and dropping by my blog today 🧡

See you soon 😊

My son in the middle- just a couple days old- my sweetheart and lovely baby boy 💙.

This is a fantastic day for me, and have been every year during the last 24 years,- because my son in the middle was born 💙. I’m so proud of him, and I feel so incredibly grateful for being this wonderful and fantastic young man’s mammi 💙. Must the stars shine on you every day in your life, like you every day shine on and in my days and life ❤🌟. All the best wishes to you from your proud mammi 🥰😘💙❤.

#mammi #raisingup #growingup #gettingolder #Norwegian #livinginspain #lifeis #birthday #myson #mymiddelson #unconditionallove #feelinggrateful #feelinglucky

I will probably do it again and again… 😊

Hi ❣ It’s so nice to see you,- like always 😊 I hope all is fine with you 🧡

My three baby ducks are young adults children now and in general also live on their own,- but now and then they still need to live in my home for a period and more. And I’m starting to wonder if that’s a part of my new “era” and epoch in my life? To not live totally “on my own” for to long …. at least not yet 😊.

“My three baby” ducks on their way out in the world,- but now and then they turn back home to their mammi 🥰

I’m on my own again now, my home is “empty” and it’s just me in the house, and I need to admit it’s nice and quiet, just the way I like to have it now at days in my home, in my life. But this time I think I’m not going to “brag” to much over my new epoch and era in my life,- this “part” where I think I’m going to live alone in my home because my children has moved out …. again 😅. I have already done that one a couple of times,- and it wasn’t quite “correct”.

I also need to admit that I’m going to do this over and over and over again,- let my kids live in my home for a while, for a period when ever they need this kind of help from me. No matter how tired I’m or how “needy” I’m with this focus on my self, my life and my time. And my children know that- I’m here and I will be here as long as they need me – no matter how, why, when and what 🧡.

And I know I’m incredibly lucky that have this possibility to help my children in this way,- let them have a bed to sleep in, food on the table now and then when they need it, and need this kind of help from me 🧡.

And I know I’m incredibly lucky that have this three children that obviously feel in their own a kind of safty and comfort with coming back and back and back again to their mammi’s home when they need this kind of help ❤. And I’m incredibly grateful for exactly this,- that my children actually feel in a way safe and comfortable around me, and loved by me- if not I don’t think they have come back home again as they do now and then ❤.

I wish you a great day or evening wherever in the world you are 🧡. Thank you so much for using your time and dropping by my blog today 🧡

My three “baby ducks” needs now and then to be back in the home with their mammi- and even I’m finish with all “this” my children will always be welcome to stay in my home whenever they need it ❤.

#mammi #raisingup #growingup #gettingolder #Norwegian #livinginspain #lifeis #menopause #midlife #movingout #movingin #lifeexperiences #changes #challenges #mychildren #happiness #joy #feelinggrateful #feelinglucky

I’m not ready for this …. again 😳😅

Hi ❣ It’s so nice to see you,- like always 😊 I hope all is fine with you 🧡

During the two last years I have had some kind of “moving in and moving out” process mostly every second or third month in my home. Then it has been to reorganize the home as best as possible to get room and space for both the people and their things and stuffs, as well as my own.

This last moving situation was my own, and that’s around 3 months ago.

My plans changes every time in a situation like this, this “moving out and moving in”- situation, and its delays my plans too….. and unfortunately, I use time to “get back in business” again as well, to “find” my routines again. Or even find a new routine. I don’t know if this is “normal” for “all and everyone”,- but for me it takes a bit time to get back in my “normal” routines after a “moving in and moving out” situation.

In general it’s my children that’s move in and out, and now and then some friends of them too. So “here we go again” 😅.

I manage to live “on my own” for around 10 weeks this time before I got a “child” dropping by with bags and boxes, and a dog and a friend too.

And I got 2 weeks “notice” before they just come “rumbling” into my home with all their stuffs.

Some of ny oldest son’s bags stable in the livingroom at the moment

I need to admit a couple of things when it comes to this last “moving in” – situation,- I did actually cry a bit, for myself, alone in my bed, because I wasn’t and I’m not ready for this again- reorganize my home, live inbetween boxes and bags, “put my life” as well as plans “on hold” for a tiny while….again, and Im not ready to live together with anyone at the moment, to be honest, closely not even my children at the moment.

I know it sounds awful, and I feel awful too, because I feel it like this. But unfortunately it’s still the truth.

And I didn’t see it’s coming either, this “moving in”. I actually thought I was more and less finish with this “moving in and out” situation for a very long time. But obviously not.

It’s my oldest son, his dog and a friend of him that “moved” into my home for around 2 weeks ago.

I know that wasn’t their plan either, and it was really not my plan,- that’s for sure. But of course I’m helping my child, my children as best as I can with the possibility I can and have. But I told them they could just stay a couple of weeks this time, and use this weeks to find another “living” solutions.

And my oldest son knows I’m not to happy with this “solution” and situation, at the same time he knows I really, really love him, unconditional ❤. I just don’t want to live together with him any more 😅. And my son knows about this text, it’s not a secret for him that I actually wasn’t overwhelmed  by happiness for living  together with him again 😅- and he is also looking forward to not live together with me,- but it was and is necessary at the moment for him to do this 🧡.

My oldest son and his friend had actually a house they should move into, but suddenly the owner changed his mind. Not to let them rent, he chose to but put up the deposit from 2 months to 3 months 😳. And of course that’s not okay. And expensive too,- and the changes and possibilities for getting the 3 months deposit back when you are moving out is more and less, and unfortunately, a “lost case” here in Spain. And maybe even more now at days in this corona- situation and the economic situation the pandemi has “created”, then it was before.

The house or apartment you are moving out from can be in perfect order, but still the owner will find “something”, some kind if reason to not pay back the deposit. Of course there are rules and rights for this, to get back the deposit,- but it can be a long and struggling way to go.

I don’t say this is the way for all and everyone, but yes, in general when you are renting a place to live here in Spain you can just say “Goodbye” to the deposit you did pay. Like I mention,- there are rules and rights also for the one who is renting,- but the process can be long and difficult,- and yes,- we live in Spain 😉. To have rules and rights and to practice the rules and rights can be two very different things.

Anyway,- my oldest son, his lovely dog, Zorro and his friend are “camping” over in my home now at days, and I’m not to happy with the situation at all. At the same time as I struggling with feelings like being a bad and selfish mammi who want to live her own life now. I feel on guilt because I’m not very happy over this “moving in”, and it’s my child too. But for my children I try to do as best as I can to help them out, even when I’m not to happy for the situation.

I think the “worst” thing this time is that I live together with someone I don’t want to live together with anymore,- my son’s friend. I have lived together with him before, twice…..and it went okay,- and he is an okay guy,- but not “my kind of guy” or my kind of friend or my kind of living together partner.

Short summary,- he doesn’t do very much, but still except to be “served”. And have even a tiny challenge to say “Thank you” when he gets served.

Some people it’s just like they have a straw into your soul and just “drinking” out the energy. I don’t know if you have any experience with that kind of people?

I understand my oldest son and his friend’s friendship, and why they are friends, but still it’s not my kind of friend or friendship. And I actually think this is more “hard and heavy” for me to live together with this friend then to live just with my son and his dog. Maybe things has felt a bit more easier if it was just thise two that moved in? I think so.

Zorro,- my son’s dog is a very happy and easy dog- so he is actually not the biggest “challenge” now at days 😊. Probably I’m the biggest challenge to be honest 😅. A grumpy mammi 😅

They are all three moving out next week . I feel and felt bad for giving them a “time limit” to find another living solution then to stay in my home “forever”. But I have also plans and things I want to do,- kind of life where I m not just a mammi anymore……a life on my own, without any responsibility for someone else.

I need to admit I don’t have the energy for this at the moment, this living together with my children, and even more together with someone I really don’t want to live together with, and I don’t want it like this either. I need a bit of time on my own now, do my things, live my life, be just me, not the mammi- me. “Fille up” with some other kind of energies for awhile so I probably can “handle” a situation like this a bit better next time then I did and do this time.

A colleague of my told me that my children obviously and probably likes to live with me, and enjoys being around me a bit.  And that I am lucky to have children who come home, and home and home again. It’s not for all parents to actually have this kind of “opportunity” to spend this kind of time together with their children, or even be liked so much by their children. And I see and understand what she mean, and of course feel even more bad then, and a bit shameful too,- just because I actually it’s and wasn’t to happy with this “moving in” situation this time.

I’m actually incredibly lucky, I know that ❤. So there has been a lots of mixed feelings around my “living together situation” this time. Guilt, shame, feeling as a bad mammi, feeling selfish at the same time as I also want to help my child and my children ❤.

And this menopause doesn’t make the situation better or easier either to be honest. I really like and want to be alone when that one is “fucking up” with my brain. And I told my son that too. I know he doesn’t understand, but okay,- it is what it is.

I think maybe if you are a parent with grown up children, or young adults children, you know and understand why I feel the way I feel when it comes to this “moving in” again situation? Or is it just me?

I wish you a great day or evening wherever in the world you are 🧡 Thank you so much for using your time and dropping by my blog today 🧡.

See you soon 😊

A bit stuffs and things here and there,- and the friend need to camp on the sofa. I didn’t had or have any other solutions at the moment. I can’t reorganize “all an everything” either.

I need to admit that I wasn’t ready or to happy for this “moving in” situation a couple of weeks ago, and unfortunately I’m still not. At the same time I feel on guilt and shame and being a bad mammi. At the same time as I of course want to help my child, and i do feel grateful too. So you can say,- it is a bit of mixed feelings at the moment 😳😅.

#children #mammi #raisingup #growingup #gettingolder #movingout #movingin #lifeis #livinginspain #Norwegian #feelingshameful #feelingbad #feelinggrateful #changes #challenges #menopause #midlife #lifeexperiences

A year ago ❤🛫

Hi ❣ It’s so nice to see you,- like always 😊 I hope all is fine with you 🧡

Today it’s a year since my middle son did moved to Norway 🧡. A year since I have hugged him and kissed him.

I’m not the only mammi that haven’t been able to kiss and hug my child, my young adult child, in a year. And that’s because of this corona- situation.

I really miss him. Miss to have him around me, not live together, but just be able to see him now and then, like I did when he was living in Spain. To hug him, kiss him.

I’m very grateful for the possibility to text him, talk with him and see him on “facetime” like WhatsUp and Messenger. And I know all is fine with him up there in Norway ❤.

He have a job, he is soon finish with the driving license, he is training football and exercises, he is spending time together with family and friends, and has even found an apartment he wants to buy 😊.

His plan was to visit me, us, here in Spain during this summer, but it became a bit difficult because of different restrictions during travelling to Spain from Norway. Special Spain. Because Spain has, and in a way still is, a very “red” country for Norway when it’s comes to the corona- situation.

Hopefully he will be able to visit me in Spain during this Autumn, but I don’t know yet, we don’t know yet.

A year goes fast and still so slow, and we do manage to “put in” all kind of different experiences during a year. In one way this year has went fast, in another when it comes to my middle son, I feel it’s like forever since I hugged him ❤.

I’m very grateful all is fine with him, he is healthy and he is enjoying his life, he is a young adult and it’s natural that he lives his own life, but sometimes it’s a bit to fare away. I’m a bit to fare away from him, he is a bit to fare away from me ❤. But this is life, special during this corona- situation.

I miss my middle son, I think of him every day, I text him, and I’m so lucky that I’m able to “see” him and at least give him some “air” – kisses and “air” hugs during Messenger or What’s Up ❤. It’s not for all mammi’s to be able to do that.

And I’m incredibly grateful he is doing well up there in Norway ❤. He is happy in his life, he is enjoying his life ❤. And I’m incredibly proud of him and proud he is my son and proud to be his mammi ❤.

I wish you a great day or evening wherever in the world you are 🧡 Thank you so much for using your time and dropping by my blog today 🧡

See you soon 😊

This photo was taken one year ago at the airport in Malaga/ Spain- my middle son and me ❤ A photo that tells more then any words can say ❤

One year ago my middle son did moved to Norway, and I haven’t been able to see him, hug him or kiss him during this year ❤. I really miss him, but at the same time I’m very grateful he is doing well and is happy in his life❤. And I’m very grateful for things like What’s Up and Messenger too ❤.

#mammi #raisingup #growingup #gettingolder #Norwegian #Norway #mychildren #mymiddleson #proudmammi #coronasituation #mysoninthemiddle #feelinggrateful #unconditionallove