Just enjoying my first holiday in my holiday week 🏖🌞

Hi ❣ It’s so nice to see you,- like always 😊 I hope all is fine with you 🧡

Today is my first holiday in this holiday week and … yes, in this holiday home too 😅. I’m living in a holiday home and I actually have holiday too at the moment 😍. Perfect 😁.

I’m going to start in a new job in the beginning of August, and in that case I needed to “take out” one holiday week before I’m starting in the new job,- and then it became this upcoming week 🌞.

Enjoying my first holiday in my holiday week and my holiday home as well 🌞

And my first holiday I have just enjoyed. First no wake- up call, just slept to my body obviously was finish sleeping. A lovely feeling to wake up when I was ready to wake up 😊. And then a nice breakfast outside in the sun on my roof terrace, and then actually some freelance work when there was a bit “speed” in my internet (yes, I know- dont work when it’s holiday… 😅but this is some work I need to do and don’t mind to do if I should manage to reach some of my goals 😊 …. so it doesn’t quite feels like work 😊).

I have prepared a nice meal/ meat for some barbecue too, and I have spent some hours on the beach as well 😊.

The meat getting ready for some barbecue later today, with some fresh herbs from my “garden” 🌞.
It takes me just some very few minutes to go to this lovely beach 🏖.

Reading, relaxing and listen to music. I can’t read with sunglasses anymore, I actually need to use glasses 🤓. But with my eyes and nose in the book and the sun on my back it’s “in function”. That’s the way it is when I’m getting older 😅. I know I can get glasses with sunglass- function, but at the moment it’s not necessary. That day will probably come soon enough 😊🤓.

My book, my glasses and some music on the ear too 🎶🎵
The meat getting ready on the barbecue 🍗

It’s a first time for everything,- and this weekend was actually the first time I have barbecue on my own, just for me and myself. I have barbecue a lot, but never to just myself. It was not to bad to just be me, but of course it’s a bit nicer with good company 😊.

But this “just me”, or actually do different kinds of things on my own, alone without my children, is something I’m going to “learn” now. It’s a bit scary, but I have already manage a couple of things, so I will probably manage a bit more too. I don’t know what “all and everything” I need to learn to do on my own are yet, but I will probably soon enough find out 😊.

I have learn to shop food without my “babyducks” following me in the food store. I have been at the beach several times on my own, and I have moved to a new place,- just me 😊. I have even travel to Madrid, without any kind of “company”.

I know for some people this things I have “learned” to do without my children around me sounds very strange, but I have actually had from one to three of my children around me more and less “all the time” for 27 years. So for me it’s actually a bit strange to not “share” or “do” normal things without one or two or three of my kids around me 😊.

I remember I told my son in the middle that there was days I really was looking forward to live alone and didn’t need to pick up socks or towels in the sofa, or go on glasses and plates “hunting” in my children’s rooms, but I forgot that when the socks, towels, glasses, plates and so one was “gone”, my children was gone too 😅.

This is a so normal situation for mostly every parents when their children are moving out. It’s a situation we are sometimes really looking forward to, but we aren’t always “prepared” on how it will be after the children are “out of the nest” 😊.

Anyway,- I’m going to do the best of this holiday week I have in front of me 😊. The first day was not to bad at all 😊🌞🏖.

I’m going to use some days on “just me” now because I actually need it, and there’s not to many plans for this week either. And that feels great 😊. I have a couple of things I need to do, but I can choose when I want to do them, and I’m going to invite some friends over too, for maybe some barbecue or maybe just some snacks, but great conversations will it be anyway 😊.

I wish you a great day or evening wherever in the world you are 🧡 Thank you so much for using your time and dropping by my blog today 🧡

See you soon 😊

A tasty homemade barbecue meal together with a cold glass of Tinto de Verano 🍷

I’m have enjoyed my first holiday in my holiday home in my holiday week 😊🏖. Breakfast outside under the sun, some hours at the beach, even some barbecue in the evening too 🍗🍷. And of course some thoughts about “living on my own”, having young adults children that’s living their own lifes now, and I need to learn to live just my life now 😊.

#children #movingout #mammi #raisingup #growingup #gettingolder #midlife #lifeexperiences #changes #challenges #thougths #holiday #holidyahome #beach #sun #enjoyinglife #barbecue

It feels like the time just flies away 💙🎈🎁

Hi ❣ It’s so nice to see you,- like always 😊 I hope all is fine with you 🧡

Today it’s 27 year since I became a mammi for the first time in my life,- to a lovely baby boy. The most fantastic, sweetest and gorgeous baby boy I have ever seen 💙. It was a marvellous moment, and in it’s own way still is 💙.

I still remember that day, 27 years ago, and it’s a day I’m probably going to remember with joy and happiness for the rest of my life 💙. I was so proud, and still is 🥰.

A so proud mammi to my first born child 27 years  ago- a friend of my in Norway did take this photo when she visited us in the hospital 💙

The feeling to hold him in my arms for the first time was fantastic 🥰. I felt so deeply in love with this little baby boy it felt like my heart was going to explode 💖. And this love has not became any less during the years, not at all ❤. Just bigger and stronger for very day 💙.

The love I feel for him is so strong, so unconditional- it’s impossible for me to explain with any words. There’s no words big enough to manage explain my love for him, and how incredibly proud I’m to be his mammi 💙. And how incredibly proud I’m of my son, my oldest son, my first born child 💙.

He is not a baby or child anymore, he is a young adult man. I do forget that sometimes, actually a bit often now and then too. He will probably always be my child, no matter how old he is 💙.

He goes his own ways in life, and that’s so fine 🥰. I see he is happy in his life, he works hard, and he reach the different goals he want to reach. He loves to entertain, something he always has liked to do.

He is helpful, and help out as best as he can if anyone close to him need some help of any kind 😊. And he really love to live close to the nature, and enjoys his life in the mountains 😊.

It’s getting a bit more difficult to find good and useful birthday presents to him as older he get 🎁. He manage to buy what he need on his own now 😊. But I really want to give him something that in it’s own way represent the love I feel for him. The proud. The best wishes for him in his life.

If I could, I have probably given him what ever he wanted and wish for, but I can’t. I can give him my unconditional love, and something that shows my love for him 💙. So this year it became a painted winebottle, but not a empty winebottle. A winebottle with wine inside. A winebottle, one of a kind, just like my oldest son 💙.

It’s the first time I have painted on a winebottle with wine inside. It was a bit different to paint, because the bottle was heavier and the different reflections became different then I’m use to. And I was so worried to loose the bottle when I painted. I really didn’t want it to break.

I have actually looked around in different stores to find a winebottle colour with blue glass, and lucky for me I did manage to fine one after a while 💙.

In case I could not remove the label on the bottle I took a picture of it to be able to show my son what wine is inside the bottle.

I did manage to remove the label, and put it together with his birthday card 😊.

The birthday- card to my oldest son- with the label from the wine too 😊

I have been working with this winebottle for a while, but still I was a bit worried I shouldn’t manage to get finish to my son’s birthday. But I did 😊.

Some few details from the winebottle to my oldest son 💙
The winebottle in different “environment” 😊.

And of course I wanted to try to made the present so “special” as I can and have the possibility to do,- so I found a bit cool winebox to the painted winebottle too 🎁.

Look ,- a bit cool ,- isn’t it? 💙

And of course I made the favourite chocolate cake I always makes to my children’s birthdays 😊🎁

The chocolate cake/ birthday cake and the birthday gift to my oldest son at his 27 years birthday 🎁💙.
And here you can see the winebottle “all around ” 💙

I should actually painted the winebottle in different violet colours, because that’s my oldest son favourite colour 🎨. But since the kids was small I have “created” things and stuffs, like for example clothes in different blue colours to my oldest, in different green colours to my middle son, and my daughter, – she was a bit “luckier” with the colours because I switched a bit between red, pink and violet in different varieties 😊. So then it became blue winebottle to my oldest son 💙.

And my oldest son has got some different knitted things in different violet colours so I think he know I know what’s his favourite colour anyway, and they all three know I have this “habit” to still give them things “touched” with the colours from their childhood 🥰.

So it’s actually and really 27 years since I became a mammi for the first time today 🥰. It feels incredible, – the time just flies away. I feel so incredibly grateful and lucky, and so proud 💙.

I wish you a great day or evening wherever in the world you are 🧡 Thank you so much for using your time and dropping by my blog today 🧡

See you soon 😊

It was not easy to put lights inside a not open bottle, so then it became a bit lights around the the bottle instead 💙

Imagen it’s 27 years since I had this tiny little baby boy in my arms and felt so deeply in love 💙. He will probably always in a way be my child no matter how old he is 💙. In my post you will find my birthday gift to him this year, and if you want to take a look, you are welcome to do 🥰.

#mammi #raisingup #growingup #gettingolder #Norwegian #livinginspain #lifeis #myoldestson #lifeexperiences #lifeisgood #thelife #feelinggrateful #feelinglucky #proud #birthday #gift #winebottle #create #creative #myart #art #oneofakind #oilcolor #oilpainting #unconditionallove ❤

I feel on a kind of sadness 💙💙❤

Hi ❣ It’s so nice to see you,- like always 😊 I hope all is fine with you 🧡

I feel on a kind of sadness inside me. Not sadness over new wrinkles or lighter hair, or hormones balance that’s changing. But a kind of sadness that an era in my life is over. The era to be a fulltime mammi. This is over.

I’m still my children’s mammi, I’m always going to be that, but not in the same way I have been for closely 27 years.

I’m actually not sad over the fact that my children are young adults and live on they own either,- but because an era in my life is over, and this time will never come back.

Maybe it sounds strange to feel on sadness, but at the same time still not be sad? Or feel in a kind of grief while not being grieving? But that’s still the way I feel inside me,- because I’m a mammi and because an era in my life is over for always.

I think it’s just someone who have been in the same situation as me that actually will understand what I mean- when it comes to feel on sadness and grief, but not be sad or grieving, because of a era in life is over.

It’s not like I go around and cry all the time, or want my children to move back home again. I’m good in that way,- this is something I feel inside me, in my heart, soul and thoughts, and it’s actually difficult to explain. And I allow myself to feel this without too much interference and influence from outsiders too.

I’m very grateful for all the time, the years, the memories my children and me have together ❤. And I know we will create new memories together too, but in a different way then before 😊.

The sadness is over a time that’s over. An incredible fantastic time together, but also an incredible busy and hard days as a single mammi. I don’t miss the business, at the same time I’m very happy I know I tried my very best to follow up and raise all my three children in different eras in their life ❤.

I hope, think, believe and actually see my children has got a lots of good things and stuffs in their “bagback” from growing up together with me 😊. But of course I also think about all the things I could and should done differently when they was children and growing up. As well as when they was teenagers and on their way to be young adults.

It’s many things I should wish I could done differently, at the same time as I can’t go back to the past and change anything. And I can’t bother myself with thoughts like that either- then I’m going to be “nuts” in my head.

What I can do is to be grateful for being their mammi and for the marvellous young adults they all three are become ❤. And I’m, as I mention, incredibly grateful for all our time and memories together ❤. But I’m also going to allow myself to feel on this sadness and a kind of grief I have inside me for an era in my life that’s over, and use the time I need to use on “this” feelings.

I know this sadness and feeling of grief will change and be different, but I’m using the time I need to “go through” this feeling of sadness and grief inside me in my own way. And like I mention, – it’s difficult to explain how, why and what I’m feeling, it’s just feelings inside me and an era in my life that’s are over together with my children, an era who will never come back, – and that’s the way it is, and that’s the way the life is too 💚.

And now I stand on the starts line to an new era in my life, and at the moment I choose to just stand there a bit too, on the starts line, and feel a bit over emotions and thoughts in relation to a time that is over, before I choose to find any new directions in my life, and start on a new era in my life 💚.

I wish you a great day or evening wherever in the world you are 🧡 Thank you so much for using your time and dropping by my blog today 🧡

See you soon 😊

A photo from a photo- so not the best photo,- but still from one of many best memories in my life as a mammi and together with my three children ❤. (I think this is around 12- 13 years ago) 😊

I stand on the starts line to an new era in my life, and at the moment I choose to just stand there a bit, on the starts line, and feel a bit over emotions and thoughts in relation to a time that is over, before I choose to find any new directions in my life, and start on a new era in my life 💚.

#era #raisingup #growingup #mammi #mammifeelings #gettingolder #Norwegian #feelings #thougths #livinginspain #lifeis #mychildren #happiness #joy #feelinggrateful #feelinglucky #sadness #lifeischanging #lifeexperiences #changes #challenges #positivefocus

My first week on my own 😊 … again 😅

Hi ❣ It’s so nice to see you,- like always 😊 I hope all is fine with you 🧡

I’m living alone …. again. All my 3 babyducks has moved out… again…and it’s seems that it’s going to be like this for a while now 😊. But I never know, I don’t know what next week or month will brings, but I assume that “this is it” now 😊.

My oldest son are living in the mountains and is very happy with his life. His friend has also moved back to the mountains, so my mammi- heart is a bit more relaxed now when I know it’s not just him and his dog, Zorro, alone “up there” fare away from people 💙. My oldest son enjoy his work, and he/ they have also extended the contract of the home they are renting. So it looks like they’ll be living there for a while 🏡.

My son in the middle are living in Norway, and he is soon ready to finish the driving licence, and then he is “on the road on his own”, literally 🚙. I think he really is going to enjoy to have his own driving licence 😊. He have also got permanent employment contract, and I’m very, very happy for him 💙. So he is not going to be back in Spain for a while, except from hopefully for a holiday and two 🥰. But when? I don’t know, I just know I miss him a lot, but as long as I know he is happy in his life, my mammi- heart is happy too 💙.

And my daughter, she is enjoying her life in Malaga sourrende by her friends, living in an apartment she likes to live in, and she have a job she really enjoys and also an permanent employment contract 🧡. She is very good to “update” me about her life with sending me Snapchats, something I’m very grateful for 🧡.

And then it’s me 😊. Been on my own for a week (again). But it feels different this time, at least I think so? All my three children are happy in their life, something that makes me incredibly happy for them all ❤. But I’m not sure where in my life I’m at the moment 🤔. I’m fine, and I’m okay, and probably in it’s own way I’m in a way happy too, but I have been thinking a lot about “my life” this last week. But I have no “solutions” for my own life yet 😊. It takes a bit more then a week to find my “new” place in my life 😊. But of course I’m thinking a bit about the future, my future, and what and where and so on. But one day at the time 😊

I don’t feel lonesome, but I’m alone and I’m lonely, and that’s find. At the moment it’s my choice to have it like this. I need it 😊. At the same time I’m a little restless inside me without knowing why, and I’m not completely calm in my new life- situation yet ….. but it’s only been a week- I’m a little impatient.  I have to learn to be patient with myself 😊. But I feel like I’m in a “no – man’s country” at the moment 😳.

I’m not going to do a lots of changes in my life to fast, the different changes are coming “crawling” anyway 😊. And I don’t think there will bring me any good with to many changes to fast in my life either 😊.

My work- situation as a costumer service agent on the phone is not going to change for some months. Something I’m very happy for 😊. I got this message last week. A very nice surprise, and it makes it a bit easier for me to take “the turns” in my life I need to take a bit more in my own tempo. With that means, – I’m still going to work from my home for some more months and for the same department as well 😊. Phu! ,- I’m very happy I don’t need to do any changes there for a while 😊. I’m actually happy it’s not to many changes at the same time, to be honest 😊.

I know I need to create some new plans, routines and a kind of dynamic in my life, both daily, weekly and monthly. With good plans and routines it’s also a bit better to reach different goals 😊. It hasn’t been easy to “keep up” my plans “for running” in a stable way for a longer period when people moving in and out in my home,- but I think there will be a break from that for a while now, something that will hopefully and probably be easier for me to have plans and special be able to doing my plans for more then maybe 6 or 8 weeks at the time, and then have a 3 months “break” 😊.

I want to create a good plan for workout and exercises, and I want to have a better plan for my online freelance work too. I want to use time on painting, knitting and writing- do some better and more work in my blog, and I need to create my own study plan for language. But one step at the time 😊. And I want to have time to my family and friends as well. And I actually think I will manage “it all” as long as I’m not “rushing” “it all”, but give myself the time that I feel I need and is correct for me 😊.

And yes,- for some reason some of my friends really want me to start dating again 🤭. Some are trying to arrange different kinds of dates for me, but the thing is,- at the moment I’m not ready for any dating. Im actually not very interesting in dating now at days. It’s a bit more important for me to spend time to “meet this me” without the “mammi- me” just “the me”, then find/ meet a boyfriend at the moment 😊. I don’t miss a boyfriend or to be in a relationship now at days. A “friend with benefit” could be nice to have, but it is what it is at the moment, and it’s fine for me 😊. But of course I presage my friends good thoughts, I’m not just “there” in my life now 😊. When, or if, I’m ready for this dating thing again I can create a “position vacant/ available” in my blog instead and see how that goes 🤭😅.

It’s good to be alone, but it’s a bit silent in my home 😊. I miss my children, to just have them around me, but I don’t miss to be a “service station” for my kids, or to live together with them on permanent basis any more 😊. I like to have just my own mess, and I like to be able to just listen to my music, the music I like, and not just different music in the different floors 🎵🎶. It’s less clothes than needs to be washed, less dish wash and less mess, no socks in the sofa and I don’t need to nag, and I can be moody totally alone,- that’s good too 😊.

Anyway,- my first week alone has “contained” just me, my work as a costumer service agent, my freelance work, some necessary stuffs like shopping food, washing clothes and the dishes, eat, sleep- oh my- I have been so incredibly tired 😴,- and a lots of thinking 😊. I’m not able to share all of my thoughts with you yet, because I haven’t managed to “organize” them in a good and structured way in my head yet 😅,- they are at the moment just different thoughts “tumbling” a bit around up there on the top until they find their “places” 😊.

And I’m going to continue to share as best as I can in my blog about both my thoughts, my “new” life and other small and big “happenings” in my life 😊.

I wish you a great day or evening wherever in the world you are 🧡 Thank you so much for using your time and dropping by my blog today 🧡

See you soon 😊

Just me, – Laila, thinking a lot and trying to “sort” out my “new” life 😊

My first week “on my own” has been actually that,- on my own alone, doing my jobs, thinking a lot 😊. But I have no “solutions” for my own life yet 😊. It takes a bit more then a week to find my “new” place in my life 😊. But of course I’m thinking a bit about the future, my future, and what, how and where and so on. But one day at the time 😊

#gettingolder #menopause #midlife #lifeexperiences #changes #challenges #movingout #adventurer #lifeis #thefuture #growingup #grateful #changefocus #thougths #mychildren #mammi #justme #mylife #newlifesituation #positivefocus 💚

Oh no, I needed to take a tiny step out of my comfort- zone 😳😅

Hi ❣ It’s so nice to see you,- like always 😊 I hope all is fine with you 🧡

I have “recognize” that there will be different “comfort- zones” in my life I need to start to take a step and two out from, because if not I’m not going to “get anywhere”. Even I need to admit I have no idea where I’m going to “go” yet 😅. But if I’m not starting “walking” one thing it’s for sure, I’m not getting anywhere either 😊.

The thing is, I’m in general not aware that I need to cross over my comfort zone before I actually standing closely in front of it or it stand in front of me. Like when I needed to travel to Madrid.

And I’m not the only one that feel we “suddenly” need to move a bit out of our different comfort zones in our lifes. One thing is because the children has moved out from the sofa, just kidding, from the home 😊, and we need to find a new rhythm and dynamic in our life because of that. And an other thing is this “life changing process” that’s actually are happen in a woman’s body and probably also life and mind in the age of around 50 , this menopause 🤪. (As well as for men too). And then it’s changes in life in general that makes it’s necessary to move out from different comfort zones in life.

And I’m not the only adult woman (and men too) that has “created” our own “safty” routines in our life 😊. A kind of safety net. The comfort zone or safety net can be where to shop our food, or what gas station to use for fill up the gasoline on the car, even filling from the same gas pump, or a routine for picking up the mail, or when to do the dishes or make the dinner. It can be small things and daily routines we in general are not thinking very much about, but “suddenly” they changes a bit because things in life changes. And we need to move out from a kind of “comfort zone”.

Comfort zones in life can be so many different things. It depends from person to person.

Routines create safety, and comfort zones, but in general we doesn’t think very much about it, because they are the routines in our life. We are used to them. We like them. They create our safety. They create a comfort we like.

I’m using in general the same food store, or actually I do switch between 3 different ones, but I have one I use most. And that’s because its close to my home, it’s cheap and I feel comfortable with shopping there. And when I had the car I did use the same gas station too, and I also in general use the same gas pump, pump number 5 😅.

Some will probably laugh at bit about me, and that’s fine 😊. And some will understand why I felt like I needed to take a tiny step out of my comfort zone one day this week when I realized that I actually needed to go to the store and buy my own ice coffee – alone too 😳 😅. And that to a store I’m not use to use 😳.

This “ice coffee shopping for mammi” is something my daughter has done for me the last 3 months now, when she has been out for her walks. And,- then she use another food store to buy my ice coffee from then I’m using to buy food. Because in this store the ice coffee is a bit cheaper and it’s tasty good too, and they are in general not empty for ice coffee either like they in general are in the food store I’m using 😊.

My favourite coffee is Ice coffee cappuccino- so now you know 😊

So when I was out of my favourite ice coffee, cappuccino, I actually needed to go to the food store I haven’t use or been in for some years ☕. It was actually not a big deal, and I didn’t felt on a “big ice block in my stomach” either because of this. I just realized and recognized that there will be some small steps out of my different comfort zone and routines, and habits as well, and even some big ones too, in front of me out there in the future 😊. And I’m not sure what they are or when they are showing up. So for me it’s just to try to get use to them, that they are “dropping up” now and then, small and without any big deal as well as big ones who will create some ice blocks in my stomach 😊.

I actually sent a photo to my daughter at Snapchat with a photo of my ice coffee and a text “Mammi needed to go out of her comfort zone today” 😅. Because in it’s own, but not very important way, that was actually still what it was, – a tiny, but not important, step out of my comfort zone 😊.

This ice coffee shopping is just a tiny and very little and small example, maybe even a stupid example, but for some this changes can be a big deal, when for others not so much. And it was also not a big challenge for me to take the walk to this store, it was actually a bit exacting 😊. Because I found also some tasty chocolate sauce and caramel sauce to use on my ice cream 🥰. But I think it is a bit important to think about that something that can seems not like a big deal for some people can be a very big step out of the comfort zone for others- just because we are different, and maybe also because we are in different stages in life as well as in different life processes. Let’s not forget about that, and just respect and accept the difference in this area in life- that we all have different comfort zones, and that we all not like to take a step or two out of this 🧡.

I wish you a great day or evening wherever in the world you are 🧡 Thank you so much for using your time and dropping by my blog today 🧡

See you soon 😊

I manage to buy my ice coffee on my own and even in a store I closely never has been in 😅( this is the photo I also sent my daughter on Snapchat 😊)

When I was out of my favourite ice coffee, I actually needed to move myself a bit out of my “comfort zone” and use another store then I’m use to use 😳😊. It all went well 😅,- but I think it’s a bit important to think about that we all have different comfort zones in life, and what’s not a “big deal” for some can be a big challenge for others when it’s about moving out from different comfort zones in life 🥀.

#mammi #raisingup #growingup #gettingolder #icecoffee #cappuccino favouritecoffe #changes #challenges #comfortzone #differences #lifeis #newexperiences #respect #accept #positivefocus 😊