My daughter’s story

Hi ❣ It’s so nice to see you,- like always 😊 I hope all is fine with you 🧡

I know it is some days between my posts and it’s a reason for that- called “the life”. Things and situations in life that affects us and our time in different forms, shapes and area. Like my daughter’s story. And then it’s not easy to manage “all and everything”,- at least I don’t manage to do “all and everything” like, unfortunately, use my time to write in my blog at the moment, and a couple of more things 😔.

Her story, my daughter’s story, the story about why she is back in my nest she, me, we together has chosen to share it with you. But in our own way, splitted up on a couple of textes and posts. Something that means you will gets different parts of her story. Why we choose to share it part by part it’s because in general a story is in parts, but we often don’t think about it or see it. In one story it can be several small stories.

Just a tiny little “hands up”- of course there will be some “repit repit” in the different stories, just so you know. But that’s because they are natural enough connected to each other. At the same time it was a bit to much to tell you all in once, also for me as the writer and her mammi as well as for my daughter as the “story teller” and the one who have really lived and experience the story.

And by the way, she didn’t moved into my home in the end of October or the beginning of November when I posted she was back in my nest. She moved in closely straight after I was finish with my students and their exams in the middle of October.

But we needed to sort things out, organize, get an overview and also a get kind of distance before we, special she, was ready to share her story. But like I mention- share her story in our own way.

When my daughter moved back home to me she come pretty much “empty handed”, except from a couple of bags with clothes, some shoes and her toilet bag, and her job computer. When I write “empty handed” she had left different things in the apartment she did share with her, now, ex boyfriend, because the plan was to pick up this things a bit later. And it’s also a limit for how much she could manage to carry on her own as well as put in a taxi. I was working so I couldn’t help her- and she knew that. But I could pay the taxi for her and also help her out when I was off from work.

We have manage to pick up most of her things- but that’s a story in an other text.

“Empty handed” means also she had lost all her money. Not just lost them, her ex boyfriend, I’m going to continue call him NC- his name is Nathaniel (Caprino) Engbråten; had actually used her money little by little, but also stolen her money as well as misused her bank account information.

All her savings was gone, even all the cents she had put away in a box did he took. He had actually empty her for more and less all the cents she had in her box- except from 25 cent I did find a bit “here and there” when I did cleaned up the apartment they did rent. Also coming up in another text.

When I say used her savings little by little he used her money for food and Uber, and drinks and fun ( and probably drugs too) and with a promise to pay her back, because he was also working. Or was he actually working? 🤔 It’s difficult to know what’s true or not true when it comes to this man.

Like some of you know my daughter was very sick with Covid19 this summer so, unfortunately, it was easy for him to get her credit card information. And unfortunately not so easy for her to have control or to do to much at that time with the situation because she was to sick. And now she is struggling with this long Covid as well.

When she moved in to my home, she cried and what she said was that she felt NC has not just stolen all her money, but her whole life. Imagine what kind of feeling to feel that someone have stolen your life. I know exactly how that feels- because I have my own experiences when it comes to feel that someone actually steal your life.

She did felt on guilt and shame and that all her dignity was gone. And she is very frustrated over the situation, more frustrated and sad then angry. She feels on a very big lost. Her life. Not the boyfriend- she’s very happy he is an ex boyfriend. Me too- very, very happy for that.

Guilt because she “let” him do this. But like I told her- she was sick, and she does still struggling with long Covid19, so it’s a limit for how much she could manage to do.

She felt on shame because she did believed him, believed his stories. Trusted him when he “promised” to pay her back for what he did “borrow” when she was laying down filled up with fever and a virus tumbling around in her body.

And her dignity- she is a young woman with a pretty good economic control, but suddenly she didn’t had any control at all over her own money. And she had worked so hard to put of savings to a new passport, and for a train trip to the Norwegian Embassy in Madrid, dentist, plane ticket to Norway, spending money to her holiday in Norway and a new mobile phone. All was gone, every little cent was gone. So at the moment,- no new passport yet, no train ticket to Madrid, no holiday to Norway, no dentist, no spending money, no mobile phone. But we need to fix this passport as soon as possible as well as train ticket to Madrid and a new mobile phone to her. I’m trying my very best to help her at the same time as I support her.

She is really starting on zero again. The “lucky” thing is that it’s at least zero and not on a minus. But there has been, very natural enough, some tears fallen from my daughter’s eyes during the firsts weeks she moved back home to me. And many tears in my mammi heart because it’s hard to see your child in so much mental pain and it’s not very much I can do to remove her pain either. The money is probably long gone- she will never see them again. But I’m trying my very best to help her with what I can help her with.

She did manage to call into the bank and try to stop the transactions, but because of a delay in the system he – NC- actually manage to empty a bit more 😳. It was a delay between her call to her bank account and when her bank account actually was closed. This is- phu- something she also can show to the police and the bank- the time when she did call in for stopping the transactions and the time all was stopped, closed down.

And the police,- yes! This time she did went to the police and reported him. It’s going to be a court case in the beginning of December. And she is though now- I don’t think any man can fool around with her anymore.

And the police treated her so well. Also when she explained about the different mental issues NC has exposed her for the police took her very seriously and also had a back up team for women that also has been exposed for mental violence and not just physical violence.

We have been visiting the police station a couple of times during the lasts weeks 👮‍♂️. But I hope it will be a time before I need to call the emergency number again 😳. But a good thing is that my daughter’s limit to contact the police now is very low. It doesn’t cost her anything to call in something that’s not correct, right or not legal when it come to her, her life and things that’s happen in her life or around her.

But the thing is,- she isn’t so alone in this situation and this story as she first believed. Really not. But she is one of very few that went to the police and reported NC- maybe it will comes more police reports now? After she went to the police suddenly more and more stories about NC “rolled up”. Stories that have happen 3 years ago, maybe even more.

Young girls and young boys that had the same experiences, but they didn’t went to the police because of the shame, because of their lost dignity, because they felt stupid and alone in their situation. Something they are not. But to meet an manipulator does something not very good your mind and soul,- I know.

And even it’s a sad situation for this young girls and boys- I’m actually glad they have each other. It’s just a comfort to actually know you are not alone and the only one in this situation.

My daughter did loose totally “only” around 5000 euro, and there’s many other girls and boys that have lost their money “because” of him, as well as their dignity. Because of the ways he use their credit card information and bank account information, and because of all his lies and not true stories. The way he treated them.

He is police reported now- and my daughter feel relieved because the police took her so seriously and because she is absolutely not alone in this sad- bad economic situation. But there’s still many steps to walk.

This was a short summary of this part of my daughter’s story. It’s, unfortunately, closely impossible to write it all down. But I, we, will try our best to tell you it all – in a short summary version, little by little,- step by step, day by day 📝.

I’m proud of my daughter that went to the police and I’m proud of her for the way she deals with the situation at the same time as she also still struggling with long Covid19 and do her work as best as she can. And she doing good, very good- but I will come back to that story too – an other day 😊.

I wish you a great day or evening wherever in the world you are 🧡. Thank you so much for using your time and dropping by my blog today 🧡

See you soon 😊

My daughter’s box where she sampled and save her cent for “better days” was also empty 😔

Imagine how it feels if someone steel all your money? It wouldn’t be a very good feeling. Then imagine how if feels if you feel someone have stolen your whole life from you 💔.

#dignity #lifeis #thelife #caprinomusic #NathanielCaprinoEngbråten #Nathanielengbråten #Nathanielcaprino #steelinglife #steel #money #challenges #difficultsituation #mydaugther #beingamammi #hardtime #Covid19 #mydaugthersstory #thestory

Mid age and midlife crisis 🥀

Hi ❣ It’s so nice to see you,- like always 😊 I hope all is fine with you 🧡

The midlife crisis is no joke.  It can be a pretty tough mental process for many, especially men.  Unfortunately, it turns out that there is a fairly high suicide rate among men who are going through the midlife crisis.  And the average age, worldwide, is 47, 2 years. 

Unfortunately it’s in general men, all over the world, that’s struggling most during this “status in the life period” in life. But of course women too, but maybe in a different way? And it is not “all and everyone” that goes through a mental crisis in the mid age either.

Often is the reason why some feel the mid age are so hard are feelings like unsuccessful, hopelessness over different dreams that hasn’t come through, wishes that’s feels not fulfilled and they are in the middle of the life,- and get a feeling that the life is over. But the middle of the life is not the end. It is the middle of the life. At the same time I can understand this painful feelings inside many fells during this period in life.

Why do so many feel on this bad feelings and thoughts, and also some choose suicide as a “resort” and “solution”? I don’t know, I don’t have the answers, but I can actually really understand this feeling of unsuccessful in life. The hopelessness when dreams and wishes feels like they are not fulfilled, and the feeling of lost youth, and  thoughts  about  a frightening and unknown old age can scares “anyone”, the feeling of not reaching, lack of happiness, depression, emptiness, a feeling of not reaching, and whether one has children – the children who move out, and a home that feels empty. It can be a lots to process at the same time,- as well as there often also are a economic and money “issue”. The economy is not in the direction that is was wishes for in this age.

It’s a kind of feeling that the life is over, and it’s not possible to reach any dreams, wishes and goals anymore, or have any hopes. But it is 😊. Just think about what you actually have manage to do during your 45- 50 years of living? Then it should be possible to “squeeze” in a bit more during the at least next 30- 40 years of your life? Maybe in a bit slower tempo,- but so? 😊

I think I have had my “midlife crisis” in my life, already. This crisis where you actually think you can’t manage anymore, not a tiny little challenge more, at the same time as you feel failed in the economic and material field.  This, unfortunately, is one of the reasons why many, special men choose suicide as a solution instead of the feeling of unsuccessful.

I’m not a man,-, but when I was around 39- 40 I was in “this place” in my life. This incredible painful feeling of being unsuccessful in so many area in my life. It felt more heavy that I could manage. I even planned how and where to do it,- three different times. To try to end this   incredible painful feeling inside me.

The reason why I didn’t manage it was the thoughts of my children. I couldn’t just leave them either, in away alone in the world, and I also knew that my children would never understood why I had left them like that, because of economy, money and material issues. The incredibly painful feeling of unsuccessful. But it was hard, and I can really understand this feeling of being unsuccessful and actually not be able to “see the light in the tunnel”. But “the light  is there”, I know it’s there. So fight as best as you can during  this  hard part of the midlife crisis 💛.

So yes, I know. I know how it feels to not manage life anymore. To not see solutions. To feel useless and unsuccessful. To feel not worthy a shit. But,- still, – I can now say,- life feels good, – even with “the baggage” I have,- but now I slowly try to let go, step by step, trying to leave one heavy part down in the road and let it be there.

Hopefully that was my midlife crisis, and hopefully I will not be in that place in my life again. I actually don’t think so,- I will be in a place like that again,- but I can’t know.

I’m still not successful in the general term of success and successfulness, and m not rich on material things or have a lots of money in my bank account, – but it doesn’t matter anymore 😊. I’m fine,- I have what I need and still do my best to reach my different goals, wishes and dreams in my life. And I know I work hard to keep it going.

I can also imagine that to be in the midlife crisis during an pandemi must be even harder than without an pandemi. So many people has lost their homes, jobs, safety net and different things in life that’s in a way did defined their successes in their life.

I think it’s difficult to have dreams, wishes and goals to work for now at days,- and now and then I’m also “losing” it a bit,- but I try my best to focus on the positive things and try my best to keep the hope alive inside me 😊.

An other part of the midlife crisis is for many women when their children are moving out, and the home feels incredibly empty, silent and the “mammi routines” aren’t there anymore. It’s like “What to do now?”🤔

I don’t have unfortunately, any wise advice to give when someone are goes through a heavy midlife crisis and struggling with keeping things, lifes, their self together, in on or another way. I’m very sorry for that. The only advice I have is,- don’t give up. Look for the small, nice and positive things in a day. It doesn’t need to be so much,- but if you sample the small things they will be much together 💛. And life is always changing, it’s ups and downs, and I know some downs can be pretty hard too 😔. But after a down, there will come an ups,- if not the downs hasn’t been there. I know it’s not easy, I really know that- but it’s worth to at least try and give yourself some time too. It takes time to get out of the cold dark midlife crisis. But it’s possible 😊.

Like I mention earlier in my text,- I’m thinking about what I actually have manage to “squeezed” into my 48 years long life so fare. And it’s actually a bit 😊. Then I think I will probably manage to “squeeze” in a bit more,- even I at the moment are not sure what I want to “squeeze” in. But I will find that if I give myself a bit of time 😊.

Some will also probably think I’m not successful in life,- but in my life I’m in my own way successful, – so that’s fine and good enough for me 😊. It’s my life, and it’s me that needs to be and feel successful in my life,- I don’t need to be that for someone else 😊.

It was actually a bit difficult to explain and write about the midlife crisis, but I hope you got “the essence” of what I wanted to write about and tell? 🥀

I know midlife crisis can be challenging, and I haven’t the best solutions for how to “survive” it,- my best advice is to talk with someone, get some help to sort out your feelings and thoughts,- because you are actually not alone at all to go through a midlife crisis 🧡.

I wish you a great day or evening wherever in the world you are 🧡 Thank you so much for using your time and dropping by my blog today 🧡

See you soon 😊

Roses from my patio- a kind of reminder that I’m in a new flowering in my life- and not like a “fallen” flower eith mo future anymore 🌹

Many people all around the world goes through a midlife crisis, and it can be a pretty hard personal crisis too for some 😔. I have been there my self,- some years ago. But now I choose to look at this new period in my life as a new flowering in my life 🌹.

#gettingolder #menopause #midlife #lifeexperiences #changes #challenges #midlifecrise #hardtime #solutions #hope #optimism #lifeis #thelife #experiences #differences #midage #newflowringinlife 🌹