I can continue “on the top” 🦱🧢😊

Hi ❣ It’s so nice to see you,- like always 😊 I hope all is fine with you 🧡

Since I’m “touching” this menopause now at days in my blog I can continue a bit “on the top” of the body. Or that’s maybe not quite correct, because I have already wrote a bit what’s happen inside “the top” now and then during this new “phase” in life. The “magical” menopause, or more correctly for me,- perimenopause (a bit of a fancy word for a not always so fancy “situation”)💫.

The brain lives it’s own lifes now and then, and don’t even give a tiny “hands up” before is messing around with the thoughts and feelings, tears and anger, and frustration,- and just in case,- I’m not always sure why this is happening either 😳. But okay,- I’m not the only one 😊.

And of course there’s some thoughts about my future too, up there in my top,- like I told you in my last post 😊.

But there’s also hair “on the top”, and the hair have a habit to change colour as well when “everything” else is changing in the body, and also for many during the menopause. I have actually looked after grey hair for maybe two or three years already😅, but luckily I haven’t found very much yet 😅. I stopped colouring my hair for maybe one or one and a half year ago, and it was different reasons for that 😊.

It was of course easier to look for grey hair when I had my natural hair colour, and I was a bit curious what my natural hair colour actually is. I think I have more and less colour my hair since I was around 15- 16 years old. So maybe it’s time for the natural colour look now? 😊

And I also thought it will be just easier for myself if or when my hair colour turn naturally grey to just let it be that way. So fare there’s not to much grey hair, and I need to admit I’m a bit happy for that. They comes when they comes, and if not, that’s fine too. But at least now it will gets it’s own natural hair colour “touch” when it’s starting to be grey for real 😊.

An other reason why I stopped colouring my hair is because it’s actually a bit stress to do this every fourth or sixth week. Now I don’t need to, and to be honest it feels a bit relieved. If I one day colouring my hair again,- I don’t know. But so fare it feels actually quite nice to just accept the “hair colour situation” the way it is, and don’t stress with this hair colouring every fourth to sixth week 😊.

I don’t have very thick hair, so I have used hair extensions now and then to feel more comfortable with my hair, and of course also with myself. Special because I didn’t feel very comfortable with my thin hair. I have now also dropped hair extensions. I haven’t use that either for over a year, or probably more. My hair is still thin, but okay,- I’m actually a bit fine with that one too. But I need to admit I do “eat” tablets to get thicker hair 😅. Something calls “Medebiotin” and “Relafit Capils”, but maybe I also should start to try some seaweed,- just in case? Even some of this tablets actually should contain some seaweed.

This tablets I did take for 3 months and then 3 months without, and if necessary 3 new months. And I think I’m going to “go” for 3 new months. So fare not to much have happen in the “be thicker hair” area, and it can’t do any harm anyway to eat a bit more of this tiny pills 😅, and it’s not so stressful to remember a tiny little hair pill every morning either 🦱😅.

My natural hair colour,- I’m actually not sure what kind of colour that is, because it’s still a bit mix of added hair color, some bleaching from the sun and then my own, – down there in the bottom.  But it is what it is – and I actually feel quite okay with my hair color as it is …..for now. Maybe I try to color my hair again one day, maybe not. But at the moment I prefer it “all” the way it is 😊.

So maybe as you probably understand I’m actually not “struggling” with my “hair situation” during this pre perimenopause process, something I’m very happy for 😊. Because I know some women do struggling with that too,- on top of all other kinds of “issues” menopause brings.

I wish you a great day or evening wherever in the world you are 🧡. Thank you so much for using your time and dropping by my blog today 🧡

See you soon 😊

My “hair situation” during this pre perimenopause is not to bad,- a tiny mix of different colours,- but I’m actually fine with it 😊. It is what it is 🦱😊

One thing is what’s happen inside the mind and brain during the perimenopause ( and menopause as well), but for some also something happens with what’s “outside” like for example the hair colour. I did stop colouring my hair for over a year ago for different reasons,- and I’m fine with the natural colours that’s “shows up” so fare 😊🦱.

#perimenopause #menopause #midlife #lifeexperiences #changes #challenges #hairsituation #haircolour #naturalhaircolour #lifeis

Menopause,- “the new Spring in life” ? 😳😅

Hi ❣ It’s so nice to see you,- like always 😊 I hope all is fine with you 🧡

I did read somewhere that menopause was like “the new Spring in life”,- but I’m not so sure about that one yet 😳. Sometimes it feels a bit more like a cold winter storm, to be honest ❄. But just sometimes 😊. In general I’m still fine during this new “process” in my life, and body. But I don’t know how this menopause process later will be for me.

Menopause,- the new Spring in life? 🌱 I don’t know about that,- but things are changing like the Spring changes the nature from the cold winter time ❄. So maybe it’s something in it?

Some women are open about and talk about menopause, others do not say very much, and some even “deny” that they are there or have been there.  Why this is so I’m not sure.  Shame about getting older?  Fear of a new and unknown phase in life?  Or too big challenges in this phase for them to be able to talk about menopause? Probably a bit of it all.

We women don’t experiences menopause in the same way. Like we didn’t have the same experiences during the puberty. Some women can have a very hard menopause, and other more “sails” through it.

I did start to “research” about menopause before I was in the menopause, and I’m still not “in the menopause” yet, at the same time as I know this phase in life starts a bit before it has been a year since the last period. I wanted to know a bit about this new phase and period in my life, and what I could “expect” as well, as also maybe get some advice how to handle different kinds of challenges if they get to hard. Be a bit prepared for this new changes as well as challenges.

Menopause is in a way “official” when it has been more then one year since the last period, but it start some years before that. And it last some years after that too.

Like I mention, I’m still not “official” in menopause, but in a phase which in the technical language is called pre- perimenopause , but of course I notice different changes both in my body and mind.

I’m not ashamed over getting older, but if I like it? To be honest,- I’m not sure. It’s like I haven’t had the time to think or fell to much about it/ this yet,- if I like it or not, because so fare in this “period” in my life I haven’t been to much alone and be able to think or feel to much about this “new life experience” I’m going to go through.

As you know my children have been moving in and out during the last two- three years. And that’s a part I feel I’m very finish with,- live together with my children, or anyone else. My children can be my neighbours instead 😊. That I would actually loved 🥰.

I not worried to talk about menopause either, at the same time there’s “things” that’s happens in my mind I can’t explain very well. Special this “moody and emotional moments”. What I do know is that I need to be and live alone now so I can “sort” this out, find my own way to “deal” with “this”, handle it and learn to live with it- this “getting older and the different changes”, and now and then, challenges too.

I can’t at this point say I feel I’m going through a new Spring in my life 😅🌱,- but I can understand why some call menopause and the time after for a new Spring in life. Maybe special the time after, when this suddenly mood and emotion storms are a bit more “calm down”, and you in your own way have found “the new way” in life?

I know some feel and thinks their life is “over” when they go through menopause. And some also goes through a kind of “middle life crisis” during this process.

One part or epoch in life is over,- what will the next one brings? What should I do now? For many the children also are moving out during this period in life, and they feel a kind of “useless”, the empty nest syndrome are in a way “knocking on the door”. I need to admit I really like to live alone, so the empty nest syndrome haven’t knocking on my door 😊. Well at least the time I have tried to live alone so fare 😅. Let me put it this way,- I liked it so much to live alone I want to try it for a bit longer period then 2- 3 months 😊. I miss my children, I love my children, I enjoy spending time together with them- but I’m very finish to live together with them. And I’m not ashamed over being that, or feel like that- like I mention in an other post,- it’s feels like my freedom to be able to live alone now 💛.

An other thing during this “getting older” ,- you can get this feeling of being not very “attractive” any more. Maybe special when it comes to the work situation, and maybe also when it comes to dating?

In general I don’t think to much that my life is over because I’m getting older, I’m in my life and very happy and grateful for that 🧡. I’m fine with the fact that my children are out of the nest, and I’m fine in my job. I’m not stressing with this dating either. I have some others thing I want to try to do and “find out” before I’m going to date again,- and it’s not even sure I want to date again, or have a boyfriend. My experience when it comes to dating, men and relationships is that there are a lot of hassles, whining, nagging and unfavorable requirements from men/ boyfriend. I want to have peace in my life, and not hassles, whining, nagging and unfavourable requirements.

But,– when those emotional waves are coming, just running and rumbling through my soul, thoughts and mind I’m not so comfortable in my life. I can get a bit “bunch” of negative thoughts and feelings about closely “all and everything” to be honest. But still actually not about relationship, dating or men. My negative thoughts goes more to “what am I going to do with my life?” Move to a new place? Back to Norway? To another country? What about work? Do I want to work as a costumer service agent on the phone for the rest of my life? And in my mind “the rest of my life” are a couple of years to be honest. And I also struggling with thoughts that I have been not the best mammi for my children. So this are mainly my negative waves, or “boble”. Sounds maybe like a nice and “easy” boble- but it’s not. I’m very “phu hu poor me” when this “waves” are “dropping by”.

And yes,- there’s one more emotional wave,- this tears that’s dropping up sometimes from no where. And the fuse that has become even shorter than it was before.  Things that have not annoyed me that much before can be incredibly annoying now.

But still in general I feel more and less like me. Without to many challenges, or “emotional waves” 🌊. But the thing is,- I’m not prepared for this “waves” when they “drops by”. I have actually no idea when they are dropping by 😳 They don’t give to many “hands up” or “warnings” like “we are going to mess a bit with your mind today” before they in a way are just “rolling over” me 😳.

Lucky for me they don’t last to long,- a day or two, and then I have some days, maybe even a couple of weeks without. But when they are “tumbling and rumbling” in my body- I really don’t feel I’m going through a new Spring in life- that’s for sure. And an other thing,- I really prefer to be alone during those “emotional waves moments” .

Unfortunately people in general doesn’t understand this, this “suddenly waves”, this need to be alone, be able to find your own way to handle them. The exception is, someone who actually are going through the same, or have bee thought menopause. They understand very well. Because it’s just not to “put your self together”. It’s actually not so easy. Not with this.

So yes,- I do really understand why some women in the 50’s, during this menopause, are a bit “trolly”. I’m a bit “trolly” my self,- even I don’t want to be “trolly”.

And I do understand this “colour up” with makeup and nail polish, clothes and accessories,- we don’t want to feel useless or invisible,- special not in work situations, and I can also understand the dating situation too,- even I’m not there.

We are some women with a lots of knowledge, in general even a good working moral,- something I can’t say many younger have. And,- we have so much to offer. Maybe I should write a bit more about my thoughts about the work situation and this feeling of being invisible in different work situations when you have turned 45 and on top of that is a woman in another post? Because I have some thoughts about that too,- more then I hade before 😊.

Anyway,- the new Spring in life? Yes in one way I can see and understand the “metaphor”, in other ways not at all. I think it depends where you are in the menopause as well as how “hard” and challeng the menopause is. This can, natural enough, be various from woman to woman 🧡. It’s can feel like a bit chaotic Spring now and then 😊😳😊

I wish you a great day or evening wherever in the world you are 🧡 Thank you so much for using your time and dropping by my blog today 🧡

See you soon 😊

The new Spring in life? Something happens, some changes, with both the mind and body during menopause,- and it could be like a kind of Spring?

I did read somewhere that menopause was like the “new Spring” in life. In one way I can understand the “metaphor”. But sometimes I need to admit that it feels like a very ” cold and stormy” Spring 😳😅🌱.

#midlife #lifeexperiences #changes #challenges #menopause #mentalhealth #emotions #feelings #thougths #outifthenest #gettingolder #growingup #newspringinlife #lifeis #midlifecrise

Then you have gone too fare ….. 🕰⏳🤨

Hi ❣ It’s so nice to see you,- like always 😊 I hope all is fine with you 🧡

I’m not sure if this is about my age, or things that have happened I my life with me before, my earlier experiences,- but I don’t tolerate anything when someone is “crossing my time- line”, or lines in general,- but special my time- line, my time off from work, and how and what I use my time off to. That’s my business! No one have any kind of rights to put up any kind of questions mark to what I’m using my time to when I’m not at work.

I know this is not just me….this is about many grown up people that have started to value the time, their time much more then before.

They see the value of their time alone as well as together with people they care about. And they see the value of the time as much more pressure and “expensive” then things and materials.

The time is also something you actually don’t or can’t get back. You can’t buy the time for money. When it’s gone it’s gone,- it want come back. It can’t be replaced either.

So when someone ask questions about my time, and even worse actually demand me to tell them what I’m going to use my time to, then they have really crossed the line, my line. A private and personal line. My time that I should and could use to whatever I wanted to do, without any kind of explanations.

It’s actually non of your business to know what someone else is going to or want to use their time too. And in top of that demand an answer to what I’m going to use my time too,- it’s respect less. If I want to tell, I tell, if not just respect that fact that it’s my time, I don’t feel any kind of responsibility to answer that question, and it’s actually non of your business. It’s my choice to tell, not to be demented to tell, or asked questions mark about it.

If I want to tell you,- fine,- but that’s my choice. It’s not your choice to demand or ask questions about what someone else is doing or using their time too,- or personal space what’s that matter. It’s exactly what it is,- personal space.

The time is personal and private,- we can use our time to exactly what we want ( of course as long as we use it in a good way- nothing criminal- if you understand what I mean?) But no one have any rights to tell me, or you, what or how I’m going to use my personal and private time, or personal space.

If I want to spend 3 hours on the sunbed in the sun with a book, on my own,- that’s my choice, that’s my time, that’s my priority, that’s my personal space,- and no one have any kind of rights to tell me that they think, believe or their opinion what else I could and should use that time to.

If I can’t babysit or look after the cat or dog, or what I should use the guestroom to in my own home. If I can’t I cant, if I can I do. If I don’t want I don’t want, if I want I want. It’s actually very easy. It’s became difficult when the questions and demands shows up. I shouldn’t have any needs at all to explain my “no”. It’s my case, not yours.

And if I want to explain my “no” I do that, if not just respect it.

To cross that line with a lots of questions and arguments it’s so untasty and reprehensible.  I’m not doing anything wrong by saying no, without having to give an explanation in addition.

And to tell me how I’m going to use my time in my own home together with demanding and arguments,- then you are a lost case for me,- sorry. I don’t like that at all, and I don’t need people like that in my life either. Been there, done that, and very, very finish with it too.

I’m an adult, I m available to make my own choices when it come to my time off. I know I’m very helpful, I know that I’m in general a good and nice person, I know I m sharing my time with other people as best as I can,- until you cross the line and actually show me non respect for my choices for my own time, and on top of that starts to ask questions about my tim, what Im going to use it to. Then I’m finish. I’m perfectly available to manage my life without people like that in it.

To start to argue and demand an explanation for what I’m going to use my time to, or how Im using the different rooms in my home, for me that’s not a line I do tolerate. It’s unacceptable! Special because I actually know I’m doing my very best to actually share my time with people around me, and help out as best as I can,- but for to be able to do that I also really need to have a refill of just my own time,- without any kind of questions.

I’m probably not the only one that feel it like this when it comes to this exclusive and so value time alone. Unfortunately it seems for some souls that’s that’s unacceptable to be like that, need the time like that, use your own time that’s suits me/ you the best. To do whatever I want to do without any kind of needs to explain.

Now I’m at a point where I’m going to say more no then yes to use my time on someone else, or help them out in a not to good situation,- the exception are my children, close family and close friends, because they actually understand. The people who don’t want do understand, even demand an explanation and want to argue about my time,- I don’t need people ikke that in my life. Then you have gone to fare for me,- I have been there, done that and I’m not going to do it again.

What triggered this reaction in me today is not important for you to know. You still know someone needed and explanation, and not just an explanation, but even demanded a answer for my “no”.  What is important is that my time is so valuable to me that I get furious when I have to explain what I am going to use it for, when I myself have no desire or need to explain it.  And unfortunately, it is not anger that passes quickly.  Normally I am not angry for a long time, but this feels to me like abuse, trampling, lack of respect for both me and my time.

So no,-it didn’t became any menopause post today as my plan was- because I actually feel a so big lack of respect for me as a person and also to be demented to explain what I m going to use my time to, today. And I really don’t like that. Sorry!

So it was more a sigh of relief from me Instead today, – but …..

I still Wish you a great day or evening wherever in the world you are 🧡 Thank you so much for using your time and dropping by my blog 🧡…. your valuable time 🧡🌹

See you soon 😊

Don’t put any question mark on what or how I’m using my time when I’m not at work,- because that’s actually non of your business!

I don’t think I’m the only one that doesn’t like to explain what Im using my time off from work to. And even get a demanded explanation too. I don’t like that at all. And when someone actually demands me to give an explanation to what I’m going to use my time off from work to, you have gone to fare. For me you have crossed a line you shouldn’t cross.

#mytime #mythoughts #myfeelings #myvaluetime #respect #mychoices #challenges #gettingolder #midlife #lifeexperiences #noneedforexplanation

“Touching” the menopause 😳😊🥀

Hi ❣ It’s so nice to see you,- like always 😊 I hope all is fine with you 🧡

In my last post I did “touch” the “subject” menopause. A bit “scary subject” for some women, and for others not so much. I’m going to “touch” this subject a bit more during my next posts. I’m not in “the middle” of this “menopause- process” yet, …..I think….I actually know 😊…..but in the beginning,- this stadium befor peri- menopause (proper advanced words are there too 😅). I have “learned” lately that obviously I’m in the middle of the menopause process when I have been a year without my period. And I have just been some weeks without my period 😅,- and there’s something in my body that tells me that I will probably get my period again in a couple of weeks 😳.

I have “touched” the menopause subject a couple of times before in my blog, but not to much for different reasons. I’m not quite “there”, at the same time as I’m, and I’m not struggling to much on daily basis with the different changes and challenges menopause can gives. But of course I notice different “things” “here and there”, both mentally and physically when it comes to “getting older”. So I haven’t had to much to write about, at the same time as I maybe have a bit more to write about now then for just a year ago 😊.

I have always thought ladies in the 50’s has been a little bit scary,- and I know I’m not the only one with thoughts like that. Both men, children, young adults and women not in the 50’s have a couple of thoughts about ladies in the 50’s. I have never been a big fan of ladies in the 50’s. I didn’t like them to much when I was younger. They are rude and mean, grumpy and talk load and seems to have no limit to what can come out of their mouths sometimes 😳. And many use a lots of colours in their hair, the clothes, the nail polish and make up, even nickles and ear rings can be big and colourful so we should be pretty sure to notice them both with our eyes and ears 💍💄. They are a bit like very pretty, colourful and scary trolls 😅😊.( ps- I really hope you know I’m exaggerating a bit now 😊)

And then suddenly after some years, some of this ladies became so soft and nice, caring, smell nice and safe, even the colours are tone down a bit down. It’s like you want to be hugged by them because they are so good and gentle 🥀.

And now I’m one of this scary trolly ladies in the 50’s 😳, and suddenly, little by little I’m starting to understand this scary attitude the ladies in the 50’s had and have, and why.

It’s actually not the easiest “changes in life” we are going through,- and like I mention,- I know I don’t have the biggest challenges at all when it comes to menopause, but still,- “wow” it can be a bit of a emotional waves some days 🌊. And to be honest,- I really like to be alone when this emotional waves “shows up” so I don’t need to be to “trolly” with the people around me.

The body is changing, the hair, the skin, the wrinkles, something inside you as well is changing. Sometimes there’s no control over the tears, other times no control over the anger- and you don’t even know where the tears or the anger comes from, or why it just suddenly showed up. And the clothes is changing too. Or maybe that’s because of the body changes ?😅 And it’s difficult to put the correct words on the different things that’s happen with you during this new period in life- this menopause,- special this “jumping Jack flash” moods. It’s like an adult puberty,- really 😳😊.

Some will of course find it interesting to read about my personal “experiences” so fare during this pre peri- menopause period, others not. Natural enough, because we are in different places in our life 😊. But I will try my very best to share with you some of my experiences in this/ my pre peri menopause during my next posts during this week (what a fancy word for maybe a not so “fancy” period in life?)📝😊.

I wish you a great day or evening wherever in the world you are 🧡 Thank you so much for using your time and dropping by my blog today 🧡

See you soon 😊

I’m still not “there” in my life where I find it necessary to use a lots of colours- I prefer this a bit anonymity “style” 😊

I have always thought ladies in the 50’s (the ladies during this “magical” menopause) has been a little bit scary. And “soon” I will be one of this scary trolly ladies in the 50’s myself 😳, Not because I’m 50 yet,- but because this “exacting” phase in my life is starting- this a bit scary (peri) menopause 🥀.

#perimenopause #menopause #midlife #lifeexperiences #changes #challenges #gettingolder #growingup #scary #trolly #positivefocus

It was a cozy celebration 🎁🥰

Hi ❣ It’s so nice to see you,- like always 😊 I hope all is fine with you 🧡

The days goes fast at the moment, and they are filled up with two of my three my young adults children “in the home” now at days 🥰. Something I’m enjoying at the same time as the time just “fly away” a bit to fast 🛩.

It was my birthday on Thursday, and I’m now 49 years young 😊. And it was a very nice and cozy birthday celebration together with my three children and Andreas too, Marius’s good friend. Exactly the way I wanted it 🥰.

I’m not use to celebrate my birthday. Or that’s not totally true. I did celebrate my birthday before I moved to Spain together with my family in Norway 😊. But there wasn’t to many birthday celebrations the lasts years before I moved to Spain, and not very much after I/ we moved to Spain,- natural enough 😊.

My plan was not to celebrate this birthday either, but that was before I knew Ruben was going to be here in Spain at my birthday 🥰. Then I wanted to at least celebrate a tiny bit together with my children 🥰.

My beautiful children and a very proud mammi – 27.01.22 🥰

But my birthday didn’t start to good, and I thought for a tiny little while that maybe I just should cancel my birthday as well as all my birthday in the future too 😅. ( You can say a tiny bit drama queen there for a second and two 😂).

Like I mention,- I’m not use to very much celebrations at my birthdays. In Norway it was in general a nice and cozy family celebration together with my children, my parents and my sister’s and their families. Not any big parties of any kind, just nice and cozy celebration with the closest 🧡.

A couple of times I did try to create a kind of birthday party with my friends, but in general I needed to cancel the party. Because most of my friends couldn’t come to the party for different reasons. So after a couple of “tries”, I gave up that “birthday party project” on my birthday 😊. And family celebrations was and still is a nice, relaxing and cozy way to celebrate my birthday 🥰.

Thursday, my birthday, started with that Mathilde’s best friend’s family dog during many years died 💔. And then his whole family tested positive for Covid19 as well, and more and less all of them are sick with headache and fever and so on 😳. Hopefully they all will recover soon 🥀🤞.

Then my oldest son, Marius, called me and told me he wasn’t sure he could be a part of my tiny birthday celebration because he was on the road to the mountains and Andreas. Because Andreas’ s cat suddenly died too 😳.

Uff,- not a very good start on “my day” 😳. And I know some will say it was “just” a cat and a dog, but for those who had this dog and this cat it was like to lose a dear family member 💔.

Marius’s dog, Zorro is like a family member for us, special for Marius 😊

But still it became and was the nicest and most cozy birthday I have had for some years 🥰. We all was together in Marius’ s home and just order some tasty take away food. I think it’s the best burgers I’ve tasted. But of course Andreas burger was 20 minutes late for some reason- but we all got tasty food, and was happy and filled up in our stomachs 🍔😊.

Just the way I wanted my 49 year’s birthday to be 😊. We did eat well, watched a old movie, “Big Mama”, and had some great conversations too 😊. A nice, cozy and relaxed time together 🥰. The perfect Quality time together with my family 🥰.

And some good laughs too 😅

And I got nice many congratulations both on my Facebook as well as on Teams from my colleagues too 🎁😊.

For some my birthday celebration maybe seems not very special, maybe even boring- but for me it was very special and fantastic birthday celebration 🥰. It’s not often I can spend some time together with all my three children at the same time anymore. So I presage every little second, and I’m so proud and grateful for being this three young adults’ s mammi ❤.

I wish you a great day or evening wherever in the world you are 🧡 Thank you so much for using your time and dropping by my blog today 🧡

See you soon 😊

My three beautiful and amazing young adults children ❤ The love of my life 💙💙❤

My birthday celebration this week became exactly the way I wished and wanted it to be 🎁. To celebrate together with my amazing children 💙💙❤. But for a tiny little second I thought it was not going to be any celebration at all 😳.

#mybirthday #lifeis #myblog #mylife #livinginspain #Norwegian #gettingolder #midlife #lifeexperiences #changes #challenges #positivefocus #lifeisgood #feelinggrateful #feelinglucky #mychildren #mammi #family #celebration