It takes a bit time to find the balance again 😊🥀

Hi ❣ It’s so nice to see you,- like always 😊 I hope all is fine with you 🧡

I have been living with some “moving in and out” from my home since the beginning of October 2019. And during this time I have found out it takes a bit time to find my balance in the new “living together” and “living alone” situations that has changed more and less every second or third month 😊.

Things goes okay, of course, but I need to try to find a kind of rhythm, routines and balance together with the people I’m living together with as well as my own rhythm, routines and balance when they has moved out again 😊.

The first month it’s a bit like trying out what’s most functional for the people who are living in my home as well as me. And then slowly during the second month it’s seems and feels like we get a kind of balance together, and things in the daily life goes a bit “smoother” and we in a way manage to create a kind of routine together as well as separate.

And then we turn into the third month and a new “round” of trying to find the balance starting again because someone has moved out, and someone is maybe soon moving in again 😊.

It’s almost a bit like I have to reset myself a little bit every time – whether it’s moving in or moving out.  If you understand what I mean?

In a living together situation it’s a bit important to find a balance more and less where everyone is a bit comfortable with. But it is not easy, because we are all different, we have different habits (good and not to good), and we see things in the daily life differently too.

I need to admit I think this “moving in and out” from my home have got smoother then I first had in mind. Maybe because in general it has been my children and their friends that have moved their suitcases in and out, so it’s people I actually know very well 😊.

Now I’m on my own again and have actually been living alone for around a month. I haven’t got or “found” the balance that’s feels best for me yet, but I’m getting closer 😊.

I need to admit I have felt a bit restless and inactive lately, and it has been a little difficult to create new good routines in my life. I’m not sure why I feel and have felt a bit restless, but probably because the life- and living situation has changed again, and I’m going “in and out” from my routines and balance in my life.

And of course this “getting older” process also is influential cause. But I have not quite managed to find my own peace in my everyday life yet.  And I like to have calm, balance, rhythm and routines in my daily life. And I’m not quite there yet…. Maybe I’m a bit a little impatient with myself? I know things takes a bit time sometimes 😊.

I have learned during this around 18 months with a changing life- situation every second and third month that it takes me around 8 to 10 weeks before I’m “there” I want to be and with the balance in my life I feel comfortable with. It doesn’t matter if it’s a living together situation or living on my own,- I’m actually comfortable and have learned to live with the new life situation after around 8- 10 weeks. So you can say I have been a bit “in and out” myself during this 18 months with a changing life- situation, and trying to find my new balance every second or third month 😅. But okay,- that’s life- and I think this time my living alone situation will last a bit longer then 2 or 3 months so I have the chance to find a very good balance in my life too 😊.

I’m not sure if anyone else has it this way? I don’t think the young adult that has been living in my home has felt this “balance” thing in the daily life at the same way as me. And I also think, well at least it looked like that for me, that this young adults found their balance in the daily life very fast, also when they moved into my home 😊. Of course I’m very happy for that, because then at least they felt like “home” and hopefully a bit relaxed with the living together situation 😊.

But I think as older we get a bit more difficult it is for us to “adopt” us into a new life situation, it’s more difficult because we are older, and it takes a bit longer time to feel comfortable and “balanced” in the new life situation. It’s not sure I’m correct. This is just my thoughts and feelings, and also my experiences during the last 18 months.

I’m doing my things, – my job, my freelance work, I knit and I paint too, and I meet my friends now and then as well. So I’m trying my very best to create a balance, my balance in my life. But I still have this restlessness inside me, and Im actually still very inactive in my life even it maybe doesn’t look like that from “the outside”,- and there’s still a couple of more routines I need to try to get a bit better “control” over in my daily life 😊. I’m actually in general a bit more effective then I have been the last month. Hopefully I will be “there” I want to be with my rhythms and routines in my daily life in the middle of May 😅.

Is it just me that is like this? Have this habit and need for having a kind of balance in my daily life, and a kind of rhythm and routines too? And is it just me that actually use over 2 months to “get” the balance in my life I feel comfortable with after some changes in the daily life balance? I hope not 😊. (Anyway I’m who I’m- like to have a kind of balance “here and there ” in my life 😊).

I wish you a great day or evening wherever in the world you are 🧡. Thank you so much for using your time and dropping by my blog today 🧡

See you soon 😊

I feel I need to resett my self a bit after some months with “moving in and out” from my home 😊.

Is it just me that like to have a kind of balance in the daily life? I feel I need to resett my self a bit every time someone is moving in or out from my home, because I like to have a kind of balance in my daily life,- both when I’m sharing my home as well as living on my own 😊.

#resett #balanceinlife #gettingolder #Norwegian #livinginspain #lifeis #myblog #mylife #mypost #thedailylife #lifeexperiences #changes #challenges #movingout #dailylife #routines #positivefocus

A new flowering in life 🌹🥀

Hi ❣ It’s so nice to see you,- like always 😊 I hope all is fine with you 🧡

This will probably be my last post for a tiny while that’s contains the subject “menopause” in one or another way 😊. At the same time as there of course will drop up post related to “getting older”,- because that’s actually a part of my life- to get and hopefully be older 😊.

I don’t have to much more to write about at the moment when it comes to the different physical changes and challenges during the menopause.

One thing is that I’m just on the start line into menopause myself, another thing the menopause doesn’t affect me more then I have already been written and told you about. It’s a tiny bit challenging when I feel I’m going to “fall apart” at my walks and actually need to sit down before I can continue my walk. At the same time it’s not happen all the time, it has just happen a few times 😊. And of course it’s a bit uncomfortable to wake up after a “water fall” during the nights. But except from that I can’t complain, or have to much more “exacting” to write about or around when it comes to the physical changes around menopause 😊.

It’s not sure the menopause will be a big challenge with to many changes for me either. I don’t know that yet. But if I remember correctly my puberty was not to bad for me, it felt very “normal”. But I think my parents thought it was a bit difficult now and then 😅. I’m their first child too, and their first teenagers,- so they probably didn’t know what to expect either 😊.

My pregnancies hasn’t been to hard either. So the hormones changing I have been through in my life so fare haven’t been the most difficult and challenging time in my life. But of course there was some challenges as well as changes. But not any big ones. Nothing to “brag” about 😊.

The menopause is also different from woman to woman. Like a pregnancy or giving birth can be.

Some of my friends that’s also going through this “period” ( menopause) in life have some thoughts around “life and dead”, as well as “this is the road to the end,- station” in life. Thoughts about a scary old age, the end in life and about dying 😐.

I haven’t actually thought very much about things like that. Maybe I will get thoughts about “life and dead” and “the end station” in life? I don’t know. At the moment I’m just choose to believe and think that I’m actually starting on a new flowering in my life 🌹🥀. That sounds so much nicer and happier, so much greater and so much more fun to look forward to 😊.

I have also been thinking about how much different experiences, knowledge and adventures in life I have manage to get and different experiences during my 48 year in my life. So why shouldn’t I have the possibility to “squeeze” in a bit more too during the next 20- 30, maybe even 40 years? Okay, – maybe in a bit slower motion and tempo then before, because I’m actually getting older and a bit slower 😅.

But I don’t understand why it should be impossible? 🤔 (in my mind it’s not 😊)

I actually don’t want to stop living now,- I want to do some more out of my life, get some more knowledge in different areas in life as well as get more experiencs too, and hopefully get a bit wiser as well? 😊

I’m meet my new era in my life with the idea that this is a new flowering in my life,- and I really like to look at the “getting older” process like that 🥀🌹.

I wish you a great day or evening wherever in the world you are 🧡 Thank you so much for using your time and dropping by my blog today 🧡

See you soon 😊

I meet my new era in my life with the imagination that it is a new period of flowering in my life 🌹🥀

I know some people in my age think that now the “flower withers” 😌. I choose to believe and look at this “getting older” process with an imagination that I’m meeting a new flowering in my life instead 🌹🥀.

#menopause #midlife #lifeexperiences #changes #challenges #process #midage #gettingolder #Norwegian #positivefocus #lifeisgood #livinginspain #lifeis #newexperiences #newflowringinlife 🌹

I feel on a kind of sadness 💙💙❤

Hi ❣ It’s so nice to see you,- like always 😊 I hope all is fine with you 🧡

I feel on a kind of sadness inside me. Not sadness over new wrinkles or lighter hair, or hormones balance that’s changing. But a kind of sadness that an era in my life is over. The era to be a fulltime mammi. This is over.

I’m still my children’s mammi, I’m always going to be that, but not in the same way I have been for closely 27 years.

I’m actually not sad over the fact that my children are young adults and live on they own either,- but because an era in my life is over, and this time will never come back.

Maybe it sounds strange to feel on sadness, but at the same time still not be sad? Or feel in a kind of grief while not being grieving? But that’s still the way I feel inside me,- because I’m a mammi and because an era in my life is over for always.

I think it’s just someone who have been in the same situation as me that actually will understand what I mean- when it comes to feel on sadness and grief, but not be sad or grieving, because of a era in life is over.

It’s not like I go around and cry all the time, or want my children to move back home again. I’m good in that way,- this is something I feel inside me, in my heart, soul and thoughts, and it’s actually difficult to explain. And I allow myself to feel this without too much interference and influence from outsiders too.

I’m very grateful for all the time, the years, the memories my children and me have together ❤. And I know we will create new memories together too, but in a different way then before 😊.

The sadness is over a time that’s over. An incredible fantastic time together, but also an incredible busy and hard days as a single mammi. I don’t miss the business, at the same time I’m very happy I know I tried my very best to follow up and raise all my three children in different eras in their life ❤.

I hope, think, believe and actually see my children has got a lots of good things and stuffs in their “bagback” from growing up together with me 😊. But of course I also think about all the things I could and should done differently when they was children and growing up. As well as when they was teenagers and on their way to be young adults.

It’s many things I should wish I could done differently, at the same time as I can’t go back to the past and change anything. And I can’t bother myself with thoughts like that either- then I’m going to be “nuts” in my head.

What I can do is to be grateful for being their mammi and for the marvellous young adults they all three are become ❤. And I’m, as I mention, incredibly grateful for all our time and memories together ❤. But I’m also going to allow myself to feel on this sadness and a kind of grief I have inside me for an era in my life that’s over, and use the time I need to use on “this” feelings.

I know this sadness and feeling of grief will change and be different, but I’m using the time I need to “go through” this feeling of sadness and grief inside me in my own way. And like I mention, – it’s difficult to explain how, why and what I’m feeling, it’s just feelings inside me and an era in my life that’s are over together with my children, an era who will never come back, – and that’s the way it is, and that’s the way the life is too 💚.

And now I stand on the starts line to an new era in my life, and at the moment I choose to just stand there a bit too, on the starts line, and feel a bit over emotions and thoughts in relation to a time that is over, before I choose to find any new directions in my life, and start on a new era in my life 💚.

I wish you a great day or evening wherever in the world you are 🧡 Thank you so much for using your time and dropping by my blog today 🧡

See you soon 😊

A photo from a photo- so not the best photo,- but still from one of many best memories in my life as a mammi and together with my three children ❤. (I think this is around 12- 13 years ago) 😊

I stand on the starts line to an new era in my life, and at the moment I choose to just stand there a bit, on the starts line, and feel a bit over emotions and thoughts in relation to a time that is over, before I choose to find any new directions in my life, and start on a new era in my life 💚.

#era #raisingup #growingup #mammi #mammifeelings #gettingolder #Norwegian #feelings #thougths #livinginspain #lifeis #mychildren #happiness #joy #feelinggrateful #feelinglucky #sadness #lifeischanging #lifeexperiences #changes #challenges #positivefocus

Mid age and midlife crisis 🥀

Hi ❣ It’s so nice to see you,- like always 😊 I hope all is fine with you 🧡

The midlife crisis is no joke.  It can be a pretty tough mental process for many, especially men.  Unfortunately, it turns out that there is a fairly high suicide rate among men who are going through the midlife crisis.  And the average age, worldwide, is 47, 2 years. 

Unfortunately it’s in general men, all over the world, that’s struggling most during this “status in the life period” in life. But of course women too, but maybe in a different way? And it is not “all and everyone” that goes through a mental crisis in the mid age either.

Often is the reason why some feel the mid age are so hard are feelings like unsuccessful, hopelessness over different dreams that hasn’t come through, wishes that’s feels not fulfilled and they are in the middle of the life,- and get a feeling that the life is over. But the middle of the life is not the end. It is the middle of the life. At the same time I can understand this painful feelings inside many fells during this period in life.

Why do so many feel on this bad feelings and thoughts, and also some choose suicide as a “resort” and “solution”? I don’t know, I don’t have the answers, but I can actually really understand this feeling of unsuccessful in life. The hopelessness when dreams and wishes feels like they are not fulfilled, and the feeling of lost youth, and  thoughts  about  a frightening and unknown old age can scares “anyone”, the feeling of not reaching, lack of happiness, depression, emptiness, a feeling of not reaching, and whether one has children – the children who move out, and a home that feels empty. It can be a lots to process at the same time,- as well as there often also are a economic and money “issue”. The economy is not in the direction that is was wishes for in this age.

It’s a kind of feeling that the life is over, and it’s not possible to reach any dreams, wishes and goals anymore, or have any hopes. But it is 😊. Just think about what you actually have manage to do during your 45- 50 years of living? Then it should be possible to “squeeze” in a bit more during the at least next 30- 40 years of your life? Maybe in a bit slower tempo,- but so? 😊

I think I have had my “midlife crisis” in my life, already. This crisis where you actually think you can’t manage anymore, not a tiny little challenge more, at the same time as you feel failed in the economic and material field.  This, unfortunately, is one of the reasons why many, special men choose suicide as a solution instead of the feeling of unsuccessful.

I’m not a man,-, but when I was around 39- 40 I was in “this place” in my life. This incredible painful feeling of being unsuccessful in so many area in my life. It felt more heavy that I could manage. I even planned how and where to do it,- three different times. To try to end this   incredible painful feeling inside me.

The reason why I didn’t manage it was the thoughts of my children. I couldn’t just leave them either, in away alone in the world, and I also knew that my children would never understood why I had left them like that, because of economy, money and material issues. The incredibly painful feeling of unsuccessful. But it was hard, and I can really understand this feeling of being unsuccessful and actually not be able to “see the light in the tunnel”. But “the light  is there”, I know it’s there. So fight as best as you can during  this  hard part of the midlife crisis 💛.

So yes, I know. I know how it feels to not manage life anymore. To not see solutions. To feel useless and unsuccessful. To feel not worthy a shit. But,- still, – I can now say,- life feels good, – even with “the baggage” I have,- but now I slowly try to let go, step by step, trying to leave one heavy part down in the road and let it be there.

Hopefully that was my midlife crisis, and hopefully I will not be in that place in my life again. I actually don’t think so,- I will be in a place like that again,- but I can’t know.

I’m still not successful in the general term of success and successfulness, and m not rich on material things or have a lots of money in my bank account, – but it doesn’t matter anymore 😊. I’m fine,- I have what I need and still do my best to reach my different goals, wishes and dreams in my life. And I know I work hard to keep it going.

I can also imagine that to be in the midlife crisis during an pandemi must be even harder than without an pandemi. So many people has lost their homes, jobs, safety net and different things in life that’s in a way did defined their successes in their life.

I think it’s difficult to have dreams, wishes and goals to work for now at days,- and now and then I’m also “losing” it a bit,- but I try my best to focus on the positive things and try my best to keep the hope alive inside me 😊.

An other part of the midlife crisis is for many women when their children are moving out, and the home feels incredibly empty, silent and the “mammi routines” aren’t there anymore. It’s like “What to do now?”🤔

I don’t have unfortunately, any wise advice to give when someone are goes through a heavy midlife crisis and struggling with keeping things, lifes, their self together, in on or another way. I’m very sorry for that. The only advice I have is,- don’t give up. Look for the small, nice and positive things in a day. It doesn’t need to be so much,- but if you sample the small things they will be much together 💛. And life is always changing, it’s ups and downs, and I know some downs can be pretty hard too 😔. But after a down, there will come an ups,- if not the downs hasn’t been there. I know it’s not easy, I really know that- but it’s worth to at least try and give yourself some time too. It takes time to get out of the cold dark midlife crisis. But it’s possible 😊.

Like I mention earlier in my text,- I’m thinking about what I actually have manage to “squeezed” into my 48 years long life so fare. And it’s actually a bit 😊. Then I think I will probably manage to “squeeze” in a bit more,- even I at the moment are not sure what I want to “squeeze” in. But I will find that if I give myself a bit of time 😊.

Some will also probably think I’m not successful in life,- but in my life I’m in my own way successful, – so that’s fine and good enough for me 😊. It’s my life, and it’s me that needs to be and feel successful in my life,- I don’t need to be that for someone else 😊.

It was actually a bit difficult to explain and write about the midlife crisis, but I hope you got “the essence” of what I wanted to write about and tell? 🥀

I know midlife crisis can be challenging, and I haven’t the best solutions for how to “survive” it,- my best advice is to talk with someone, get some help to sort out your feelings and thoughts,- because you are actually not alone at all to go through a midlife crisis 🧡.

I wish you a great day or evening wherever in the world you are 🧡 Thank you so much for using your time and dropping by my blog today 🧡

See you soon 😊

Roses from my patio- a kind of reminder that I’m in a new flowering in my life- and not like a “fallen” flower eith mo future anymore 🌹

Many people all around the world goes through a midlife crisis, and it can be a pretty hard personal crisis too for some 😔. I have been there my self,- some years ago. But now I choose to look at this new period in my life as a new flowering in my life 🌹.

#gettingolder #menopause #midlife #lifeexperiences #changes #challenges #midlifecrise #hardtime #solutions #hope #optimism #lifeis #thelife #experiences #differences #midage #newflowringinlife 🌹

Hormone balance changes 🤯😊

Hi ❣ It’s so nice to see you,- like always 😊 I hope all is fine with you 🧡

The hormone balance changes too in my body, but I need to admit I haven’t struggled very much with that one yet, except from this “hot nights” 😊.

My eggs are a bit more “grumpy”, something that makes me a bit more “grumpy” too, now and then. But to be honest, now when I’m alone, living alone, I don’t feel so much this irritating “grumpiness” inside me. Maybe because there’s no around me to be “grumpy” on? 🤔 So I feel my mood is a bit stable, but it’s not sure it is like that 😅. I have no one around me on daily basis to “check out” my mood,- and maybe that’s a good thing at the moment? 😊

My period is “slowing down” too. I still have my period and it’s still coming regular, but it last just a few days now and I’m don’t bleeding so much either anymore.

I have mixed feelings about losing my period, but I had also very mixed feelings when I got my period. So it’s maybe natural to have some mixed feelings around this?

When I got my period I felt so sad that I needed to have this bleeding and pain in my stomach 5 days every month “forever” 😔. But after a while I got use to it. Now I’m in a way looking forward to don’t have this pain in my stomach and the bleeding too, at the same time I have some thoughts about what changes my body will go through to loose my period, and how this can or will affect my “sexual feelings and needs”?

The estrogen is slowing down and then also the sexual feelings and needs can and will slow down too. I actually don’t like that thought.

But if or when this is or should happen, there’s solutions for “keep up the heat in my vagina”. But,- yes, of course I have some thoughts about this,- maybe special because I’m single?

I also had discharge from my vagina before, but I do not see it that much anymore.  And I’m actually not quite sure when it slowed down.  A year ago?  5 years ago?  I have no idea 🤔.  I have not thought much about it either, until now when I think and write about hormones, and various changes in the body, my body.

And sometimes I get such a “milky feeling” in my breast.  As I often got when I was pregnant and when I was breastfeeding.  Like “chest burst”. But it does not last long, and is not a problem or something to complain about.

My bladder has behaved well, I have not had a urinary infection for a long time. But I also drink a little ginger tea occasionally to cleanse my “internal system”.  And the bladder keeps tight, no leaks. I have read about that “leaks” can be a challenge when you get older,- but so fare so good 😊. I think I’m not “old enough” to get any “leaks”, but at the same time I know some women in my age has some challenges with leaks. Hopefully I will manage to “keep tight” “forever” 😊. At least for many years 😊.

I have also felt incredibly bad a couple of times when I have been at my walks. Actually a kind of sick, but still not sick. This hasn’t happened to many times, but I actually needed to sit down and just “put myself together” a bit before I continue my walks.

I can’t actually explain the feeling, it was just physical bad in all my body. I know this “I feel, bad and sick” feeling can drop by too during menopause. Hopefully it would not drop by to many times, because it was not a very good feeling.

I know that there are different solutions and “treatments” if menopause gets to hard and to bad.  There are several natural / alternative treatments, and there are hormone cures.  I know many women are skeptical of hormone regimens because this can trigger different types of cancer.  At the same time, it is possible to go for regular medical examinations for cancer check-ups.

I feel it’s to early for me in the menopause- process to even think about different kinds of treatments, alternative or hormone cures. But I’m actually not a stranger to trying either alternative treatments or hormone cures, should it become challenging, both physically and mentally in menopause.

So fare it is what it is, and not with the biggest challenge actually,- except from the “water falls” some nights, and that couple of times I actually thought I was going to past out on my walks. Because that one was…phu….not good.

But like I have mention before,- I’m just in the beginning of the menopause, and the different menopause changes and challenges are also different from women to women too 😊.

I wish you a great day or evening wherever in the world you are 🧡 Thank you so much for using your time and dropping by my blog today 🧡

See you soon 😊

Just olives as a symbol for “hormones dance” or “hormone balance” and the menopause 🤯😊

I’m just in the beginning of menopause and so fare the hormones are more and less in “balance and stabil” 😊. But if they give me to much troubles I’m not strange of trying different kinds of treatments to get “easier days” 😊.

#menopause #midlife #lifeexperiences #changes #challenges #gettingolder #Norwegian #livinginspain #lifeis #hormonebalance #treatment #thelife #newflowringinlife 🌹