Menopause,- “the new Spring in life” ? 😳😅

Hi ❣ It’s so nice to see you,- like always 😊 I hope all is fine with you 🧡

I did read somewhere that menopause was like “the new Spring in life”,- but I’m not so sure about that one yet 😳. Sometimes it feels a bit more like a cold winter storm, to be honest ❄. But just sometimes 😊. In general I’m still fine during this new “process” in my life, and body. But I don’t know how this menopause process later will be for me.

Menopause,- the new Spring in life? 🌱 I don’t know about that,- but things are changing like the Spring changes the nature from the cold winter time ❄. So maybe it’s something in it?

Some women are open about and talk about menopause, others do not say very much, and some even “deny” that they are there or have been there.  Why this is so I’m not sure.  Shame about getting older?  Fear of a new and unknown phase in life?  Or too big challenges in this phase for them to be able to talk about menopause? Probably a bit of it all.

We women don’t experiences menopause in the same way. Like we didn’t have the same experiences during the puberty. Some women can have a very hard menopause, and other more “sails” through it.

I did start to “research” about menopause before I was in the menopause, and I’m still not “in the menopause” yet, at the same time as I know this phase in life starts a bit before it has been a year since the last period. I wanted to know a bit about this new phase and period in my life, and what I could “expect” as well, as also maybe get some advice how to handle different kinds of challenges if they get to hard. Be a bit prepared for this new changes as well as challenges.

Menopause is in a way “official” when it has been more then one year since the last period, but it start some years before that. And it last some years after that too.

Like I mention, I’m still not “official” in menopause, but in a phase which in the technical language is called pre- perimenopause , but of course I notice different changes both in my body and mind.

I’m not ashamed over getting older, but if I like it? To be honest,- I’m not sure. It’s like I haven’t had the time to think or fell to much about it/ this yet,- if I like it or not, because so fare in this “period” in my life I haven’t been to much alone and be able to think or feel to much about this “new life experience” I’m going to go through.

As you know my children have been moving in and out during the last two- three years. And that’s a part I feel I’m very finish with,- live together with my children, or anyone else. My children can be my neighbours instead 😊. That I would actually loved 🥰.

I not worried to talk about menopause either, at the same time there’s “things” that’s happens in my mind I can’t explain very well. Special this “moody and emotional moments”. What I do know is that I need to be and live alone now so I can “sort” this out, find my own way to “deal” with “this”, handle it and learn to live with it- this “getting older and the different changes”, and now and then, challenges too.

I can’t at this point say I feel I’m going through a new Spring in my life 😅🌱,- but I can understand why some call menopause and the time after for a new Spring in life. Maybe special the time after, when this suddenly mood and emotion storms are a bit more “calm down”, and you in your own way have found “the new way” in life?

I know some feel and thinks their life is “over” when they go through menopause. And some also goes through a kind of “middle life crisis” during this process.

One part or epoch in life is over,- what will the next one brings? What should I do now? For many the children also are moving out during this period in life, and they feel a kind of “useless”, the empty nest syndrome are in a way “knocking on the door”. I need to admit I really like to live alone, so the empty nest syndrome haven’t knocking on my door 😊. Well at least the time I have tried to live alone so fare 😅. Let me put it this way,- I liked it so much to live alone I want to try it for a bit longer period then 2- 3 months 😊. I miss my children, I love my children, I enjoy spending time together with them- but I’m very finish to live together with them. And I’m not ashamed over being that, or feel like that- like I mention in an other post,- it’s feels like my freedom to be able to live alone now 💛.

An other thing during this “getting older” ,- you can get this feeling of being not very “attractive” any more. Maybe special when it comes to the work situation, and maybe also when it comes to dating?

In general I don’t think to much that my life is over because I’m getting older, I’m in my life and very happy and grateful for that 🧡. I’m fine with the fact that my children are out of the nest, and I’m fine in my job. I’m not stressing with this dating either. I have some others thing I want to try to do and “find out” before I’m going to date again,- and it’s not even sure I want to date again, or have a boyfriend. My experience when it comes to dating, men and relationships is that there are a lot of hassles, whining, nagging and unfavorable requirements from men/ boyfriend. I want to have peace in my life, and not hassles, whining, nagging and unfavourable requirements.

But,– when those emotional waves are coming, just running and rumbling through my soul, thoughts and mind I’m not so comfortable in my life. I can get a bit “bunch” of negative thoughts and feelings about closely “all and everything” to be honest. But still actually not about relationship, dating or men. My negative thoughts goes more to “what am I going to do with my life?” Move to a new place? Back to Norway? To another country? What about work? Do I want to work as a costumer service agent on the phone for the rest of my life? And in my mind “the rest of my life” are a couple of years to be honest. And I also struggling with thoughts that I have been not the best mammi for my children. So this are mainly my negative waves, or “boble”. Sounds maybe like a nice and “easy” boble- but it’s not. I’m very “phu hu poor me” when this “waves” are “dropping by”.

And yes,- there’s one more emotional wave,- this tears that’s dropping up sometimes from no where. And the fuse that has become even shorter than it was before.  Things that have not annoyed me that much before can be incredibly annoying now.

But still in general I feel more and less like me. Without to many challenges, or “emotional waves” 🌊. But the thing is,- I’m not prepared for this “waves” when they “drops by”. I have actually no idea when they are dropping by 😳 They don’t give to many “hands up” or “warnings” like “we are going to mess a bit with your mind today” before they in a way are just “rolling over” me 😳.

Lucky for me they don’t last to long,- a day or two, and then I have some days, maybe even a couple of weeks without. But when they are “tumbling and rumbling” in my body- I really don’t feel I’m going through a new Spring in life- that’s for sure. And an other thing,- I really prefer to be alone during those “emotional waves moments” .

Unfortunately people in general doesn’t understand this, this “suddenly waves”, this need to be alone, be able to find your own way to handle them. The exception is, someone who actually are going through the same, or have bee thought menopause. They understand very well. Because it’s just not to “put your self together”. It’s actually not so easy. Not with this.

So yes,- I do really understand why some women in the 50’s, during this menopause, are a bit “trolly”. I’m a bit “trolly” my self,- even I don’t want to be “trolly”.

And I do understand this “colour up” with makeup and nail polish, clothes and accessories,- we don’t want to feel useless or invisible,- special not in work situations, and I can also understand the dating situation too,- even I’m not there.

We are some women with a lots of knowledge, in general even a good working moral,- something I can’t say many younger have. And,- we have so much to offer. Maybe I should write a bit more about my thoughts about the work situation and this feeling of being invisible in different work situations when you have turned 45 and on top of that is a woman in another post? Because I have some thoughts about that too,- more then I hade before 😊.

Anyway,- the new Spring in life? Yes in one way I can see and understand the “metaphor”, in other ways not at all. I think it depends where you are in the menopause as well as how “hard” and challeng the menopause is. This can, natural enough, be various from woman to woman 🧡. It’s can feel like a bit chaotic Spring now and then 😊😳😊

I wish you a great day or evening wherever in the world you are 🧡 Thank you so much for using your time and dropping by my blog today 🧡

See you soon 😊

The new Spring in life? Something happens, some changes, with both the mind and body during menopause,- and it could be like a kind of Spring?

I did read somewhere that menopause was like the “new Spring” in life. In one way I can understand the “metaphor”. But sometimes I need to admit that it feels like a very ” cold and stormy” Spring 😳😅🌱.

#midlife #lifeexperiences #changes #challenges #menopause #mentalhealth #emotions #feelings #thougths #outifthenest #gettingolder #growingup #newspringinlife #lifeis #midlifecrise

It needs to heal in it’s own way and tempo 🧩⚖

Hi ❣ It’s so nice to see you,- like always 😊 I hope all is fine with you 🧡

Like I mention in my last post,- to have some mental challenges in life is more and less like break a leg or get a sore throat. Sometimes a kind of treatment is necessary, other times the body heals it self. Sometimes you get a scar, other times not.

To compare mental challenges with physical challenges is probably the best way for many people to understand a bit about mental challenges in life.

Mental challenges happens if a person get some not to good experiences in life. The experiences can be many different things,- lose someone close to you, be in a bad relationship, even a bad friendship. It can be so many different things and experiences in life that can make a open, painful sore in a person’s soul and mind. Like the physical open sore needs time to heal, also the open sore in the soul and mind needs time to heal as well. But the healing process is different from person to person, as well as the treatment process also can be different from person to person.

This is not a open sore,- it’s a part of a painting I’m working on,- but it looks a bit like a open inflamed wound, right?

Other times the mental challenges can feels like a big, black, painful and empty holes inside you that you are trying to fill up with different things to both get rid of the pain and close the hole.  Get rid of the empty feeling inside you.

Other times it can be a mix of both the open inflamed sore and the open, empty black hole. And the treatment? It depends on the person, the day, the situation.

I know my daughter very well. I’m probably the one who knows her best, maybe even sometimes better then she knows her self. Because I’m her mammi, I have carried her around, in my stomach, in my arms, in my heart ❤.

And when I say I sometimes wish she was 10 months or 10 years old it’s because it was so much easier to comfort her when she didn’t feel very well. Now at days I’m not always sure what I can do for her so she feels well inside her after what she has been through.

I try to do her days in our home as easy as possible so she can focus on her self, get better, heal her pain, heal her mind, do a good job in her job, get as ready as possible for the big travel to Bali.

I know I can’t fuss too much, demand too much, arguing to much. It’s a lot inside her that must be in place after what she has been through. I know that, and I know things needs to be healed in a way that’s good for her, in her own tempo,- so the scars after her experiences will not be to big in her soul and mind when they are healed.

And I also want her to try to focus on good sleep, regular and healthy food and some exercise. Yoga, walks,- what ever that’s suitable for her. I know this three things are a very important part of getting better, let the mind heal faster.

But to focus on a as regular lifestyle as possible for her is not so easy when she works shifts. Days, afternoons, nights and weekends. It’s not so easy to split the house work between us either when she works like this and also needs to focus to heal her mind and soul.

So even if we have tried,- it’s mainly me that makes the dinners, do the shopping, clean the house, do the dishes and wash the clothes.

So yes,- I can get incredibly tired sometimes. Do different things in the home for two people, take care of her as good as I can and do my own work and my own things too. I actually don’t manage “all and everything”,- but I know this is just for an period. And I know that this is the best solutions for my daughter at the moment.

In about 4 to 6 weeks she will be on the way to Bali. Things will be different for her as well as for me. Hopefully her soul and mind will be more healed, and if she needs me or her psychologist,- I’m just a phone call away, and her psychologist just a Skype conversation away 😊. And her friends will also be available for a good chat,- I know that 😊.

And to be honest,- I need to “heal” a bit too after this period. My daughter know I needs it too,- that Im tired now it’s not a secret. And I’m going to have one week holiday when my daughter has travelled to Bali and in that holiday is just for myself and for to do absolutely nothing (wonder if I can manage that 😅?) 😁.

So,- we both needs to be healed a bit,- but just in very different ways and for very different reasons. I know my daughter will be fine,- she is a strong, young woman ❤. And I will be fine too,- it’s going to be fine to just clean my own cups and plates, wash just my sock and jumpers, clean up just after just my self for a while 😁. I don’t need to heal a open inflamed sore in my soul or a empty painful black hole inside me, likely daughter needs to do. So my “treatment” is very easy actually compared to what my daughter’s has to work with ❤. But she is getting there,- better and better after every “down trip” 🙏🧡.

And she have found her drawing book and colours too during the last days,- a very, very good sign that her mind and soul is starting to heal more and more. I’m so happy and grateful she’s starting to filling up the painful, black hole with colours 🎨🧡. And the inflation is getting better, but I know there still will be days that that one can be painful again.

I wish you a great day or evening wherever in the world you are 🧡 Thank you so much for using your time and dropping by my blog today 🧡

See you soon 😊.

Sometimes the pain inside can feel like a painful, open, black hole inside you that needs to be fixed or filled up with something,- it’s just not always easy to find out what.

Mental challenges can feels like a inflamed sore inside, or like a big, black, painful hole that’s needs to be filled up with something so the pain stops 🚫. My daughter has found her drawing book and her colours, and have slowly started to fill up the black, painful hole with colours 🎨. We all need different ways to find our own way for the treatment of our soul and mind 🧡🥀🙏.

#mentalhealth #treatment #differences #emotions #feelings #thougths #positivefocus #challenges #solutions #possibilities #lifestyle #healing #soul #mind #beingamammi #mydaugther #feelinggrateful

Mental health is also important health 🧡🥀

Hi❣ It’s so nice to see you,- like always 😊 I hope all is fine with you 🧡

Like I mention in one of my last post,- it has been a bit demanding period in our home lately. My daughter has been struggling a bit (a bit more then a bit) mentally with different feelings and thoughts. Like some of you know,- she wasn’t quite lucky with some choice of boyfriends and the two last one didn’t treat her very well. The first one did beat her up physically, while the last one was mentally “violent”, or more correctly, a manipulator.

She goes through some mentally hard periods sometimes, or maybe I can say we? Because when she have all this pain inside her I feel her pain too, and I also feel so incredibly helpless and I feel so, so sorry for her. It’s breaks my heart to see her like that 💔. And I don’t know how I can remove the pain she feels inside her either. It was so much easier to comfort her when she was 10 months or 10 years and had a bad day then this

Some periods is harder to handle then others,- and I need to admit that this time it has been a bit hard for my daughter, and then it’s hard for her mammi as well.

It’s ups and downs periods, and now it’s “lightning” up and I know she will have a good period for a while, we will have a good period in front of us 🥰. It’s getting a bit longer period between the really down periods now, and that feels great- at the same time,- it’s not very great when she “digging” her through the down periods and really try to find her strength, but can’t find it anywhere 😔. But when it’s lighting up and she have all her mentally strength “in order” if feels like a fantastic sunrise for a very long, warm, nice and sunny day.

It’s lighting up in my daughter’s mind like a nice sunrise in a soft Spring morning 🧡 ( the photo is taken from one of my morning trips)

Mental and physical health,- similar, yet different 🧡🥀. I’m not sure why it’s so difficult for many people to understand that mental health problems and challenges can be as painful as a open, inflamed wound on the stomach, or a painful broken arm. But I think it is because you can’t see the mental challenges and pain inside a person like you can see the open inflamed wound or the broken arm.

It’s also therefore difficult to speak about mental health problems and challenges to some people, because they actually can’t understand. I have tried sometimes, but many times it’s not a point to try to explain, some just don’t understand anyway.

As it’s different ways to be physically sick, or have different physically challenging for a period, or illness or even a chronic illness. It’s also different ways to have mental challenges, problems and illnesses as well, also for a shorter or a longer period in life, or maybe even a kind of chronic mental illness. And both is normal,- both physically and mental, and that’s important to remember.

As we can break a arm for different reasons and in general “everyone” understand why the arm is broken and feel sorry for you. But if you break your mental health for a while for different reasons, or more correctly, bad experiences in life, very few have and show very much understanding for that. Strange,- isn’t? Or maybe it’s like I mention,- people can’t see this kind of break, the mental break? Or the pain? They can’t associate or understand the mental pain?

One thing is for sure,- mental health and physically health is both very important to take as good care of as possible,- and now and then also take or have a kind of treatment if necessary.

I have my self needed mental help to sort out things in my mind. And to be honest I felt ashamed for that for many, many years,- ashamed that I was a so weak mental person that needed help from someone else. But we get help, and even medicine, from the doctor if we have for example sore throat, to get better. So what’s the different?

We all also reacts differently to different negative happenings in our life, and handle them differently too. Natural enough because we are all more and less different. Something that’s not to bad for some people can be really bad for other.

I know there’s three important things to do to try to keep the mind as healthy as possible,- and that’s a good night sleep, healthy food and moving. Go for a walk, take some steps, do some yoga. But that’s not always easy to manage to do,- special if there’s many different thoughts in your mind when you’re going to bed. And to go for a walk when you haven’t sleeping very well can be a challenge. And food,- well if you feel physical nausea and discomfort it’s not easy to put some food in your stomach either. But to try manage or do two of three, the third one will come too….but sometimes it can take a tiny while. Be patient with yourself 🧡. And special be nice with your self during not to good period in your life 🧡. And to find something, even the smallest tiny positive thing to focus on actually can help the mind to be positive better too 🧡.

Good conversations, or just someone that’s is a good listener is also many times like the best medicine for the mind and soul. But it’s not conversations like this you can have with “all and everyone”,- because it’s not for “all and everyone” to understand different mental challenges.

My daughter rode off the high and difficult emotional waves this time as well.  She’s good, she’s tough and she’s strong ❤.  They were quite big this time, but now the waves have calmed down and the days are heading towards calmer waves for a while. I think she is so, so brave, and also open about this mental challenges when they “shows up” 🧡.

And I’m tired now, I feel my body and my mind have been in a kind of stretch bench the last period.  I have physical pain in my arms and legs 😅 – but Im very good and warm in my heart after riding the storm, if you understand what I mean?

Please just remember that if someone have a kind of mental challenges you can’t understand ,- please just try to associate to with a painful broken arm and just accept the fact that it’s a painful process to go through mental challenges as well as be better,- just like with the broken arm 🦴. Or just be honest and say you don’t understand,- that’s many times okay too, but you can listen., or just be there.

I wish you a great day or evening wherever in the world you are 🧡 Thank you so much for using your time and dropping by my blog today 🧡

See you soon 😊

The emotional waves on our home are calmed down,- hopefully for a while 🤞🧡

I know it’s not for “all and everyone” to understand mental health, special not mental challenges of different kinds and for different reasons 🥀. But mental challenges can be and are as painful as a open inflamed sore on your stomach. Try to remember that if you can’t understand the mental pain inside someone that’s struggling a bit with some mental challenges 🧡.

#mentalhealth #struggling #health #waves #understanding #challenges #demanding #period #lifeis #experiences #differences #emotions #feelings #thougths #positivefocus

It’s small for a reason 🎨😊

Hi ❣ It’s so nice to see you,- like always 😊 I hope all is fine with you 🧡

I have shown you three different “mental health processing ” paintings during the last days,- but I didn’t use three days or three weeks or three months to paint those paintings. I started on the paintings in the Easter 2021. And the Easter last year was in the end of March/ beginning of April- so it’s a couple of months ago, and I was finish with the paintings in the beginning of February this year 😊.

It took a bit of time to manage finish the paintings because it also have been a mental processes progress for me, a process and progress that not always was easy to be in or work through,- but when I was ready to finish the paintings I was finish with so much more than just the paintings 😊.

Three “mental health” paintings- the mental health in positive progress and process 🧡

As you can see the dark painting is the smallest one, and it’s a reason for that. I didn’t want to put to much “attention” on the part that was in it’s own way, painful- but still I needed to “work myself through it”, and put the feelings, thoughts and emotions on the canvas instead of carrying them around with me. In a way “get rid of them” in my own way. But I didn’t think it was worth to much space and place either- but still it needed to be done 🍂.

The blue one, with the broken blue glassbottle, is a bit bigger, and that’s because I made space for the more good feelings, thoughts and emotions- I broke the bad ones, let them be free and made space for the good ones 🧡. I’m more ready for letting something new and good in my life and let other, old, not to good things “be free”, fly away, not be kept inside the glassbottle, or inside me. If you understand what I mean?

And the yellow one- “Breaking out in freedom”- of course that one need to be bigger, take more space and room, get more attention- because that’s also what I want to take more space and place in my life, give more attention too 😊.

I can’t and shouldn’t complain to much over the ten last years in my life, know I have done that now and then, -but it hasn’t been sunshine and a dance on roses. At the same time I have got a lost of different and new experiences then from Norway, and some very good friendship too 🧡.

It has been hard work, and just try to do the best of it😊. Hard work mentally because there have been so many things I didn’t understood and needed to work through as well as just learn to accept the situation, to let go. Learn to let go, and also a lots of hard economic work,- because I was “left” in a not very good economic situation after the relationship I was in in Norway.

That one is also starting to be better, my economic situation- but it doesn’t come “for free”- it’s a lots of hours with work behind me, and it will be a lots of more hours with work in front of me too. But I don’t mind when I see and feel and get the experiences that my hard work “gives fruits” 🍎. But I’m in the more economic correct way then I also have been during the last ten years- also that is a kind of big freedom for me, freedom to feel I’m on “the road” I want to be, and want to continue 🥰. And I’m in a more correct direction in my life when it comes to let go of what I can’t do anything with- like the past 🍂🍃.

So the black painful, “chains painting” is small for a reason- I want it to be small, I don’t want it to take more time, space and place in my life, thoughts, mind and emotions then just like a tiny black memorie behind there in the past 😊.

I wish you a great day or evening wherever in the world you are 🧡 Thank you so much for using your time and dropping by my blog today 🧡

See you soon 😊

On the way in the correct direction 😊

The size of my paintings is a conscious choice too- not just the colour and illustrations. I want the good in life to take up a lot of space, and the less good in life to take up less, as little space as possible 🧡😊.

#changes #challenges #positivefocus #inspiration #illustration #thelife #thougths #feelings #emotions #experiences #oneofakind #oilpainting #oilcolor #canvas #playingwithcolors #mentalhealth #lettinggo #paintings #process #creating #choices #space #place #feelinggrateful

“Breaking out in freedom” 🥀🍃

Hi ❣ It’s so nice to see you,- like always 😊 I hope all is fine with you 🧡

Will we ever be totally free? Free for the things we regret? The choice and acts we regret we did in our past? I don’t think so, but I still think it’s possible to feel free. And to feel free is also a kind of way to be free. Isn’t it? Feel free and accept that the past is the past- even you should wish something, some choices was made different.

I feel free in my own way now,- but I know there still will come days and periods in my life that will be and feel challenged, also when it come to choices I made in my past. My biggest regret is that I let my children be a part of it, the not to best past, the not to best version of their mammi, the not best choice in my life when it came to a boyfriend and living together partner. Hopefully that one will also change a bit one day. Still be there, but in a easier way to “carry” around and deal with.

I have different and new mental “tools” to use now, different from before. To use to handle my thought, emotions and feelings when they try to go into “a bit darker place” in my mind- and that feels good- so good that I will call it “Breaking out in freedom”:

“Breaking out in freedom”.

And that’s the way it feels,- like my past just broke out and gave me some inner colour peace and freedom 🍃.

Can you see how the flowers in the painting just flying out from the broken the chains and links? Just like they are “popping up” with happiness. That’s the way it feels. Like nice, peaceful colours is filling up my soul and mind with happiness and peace 🍃.

And the colours are also a very conscious decision.

The blue color symbolizes clarity, although I probably have to admit that I do not see everything as clearly yet, but still better than before 🤓.

The green color stands for security.  I feel more confident in myself, but a hundred present confident I am not yet.  I’m not quite sure where I’m going in my life – but I’ll probably find out.  In any case, I am confident that the road will continue, and I will be walking and following it as best as I can- and creat- create my life the way I want it to be- little by little, step by step.

Green stand also for growing, and I’m growing in my own way 🌱.

Yellow is the color of optimism, and I am optimistic.  I have actually always been optimistic – but now I also believe that I can get things in order in my life.  Both physically and mentally, and I work more consciously for that as well. “Clean” up the past and get ready for the day today and all the next days there in the future.

White stands for peace, and I have more peace inside me than I have had in a long time.  It feels peaceful, good, relaxing and not least calm.

And then there is the color purple – it stands for freedom.  And I feel free, free from many bad feelings and thoughts that have plagued me for many years, not least guilt and the view of myself – my self-worth.  I’m basically not that bad – even though I made the wrong choice , decision and struggled a bit mentally with that. I’m still not to bad 😘.

There will still come “down days”,- but not like before 😊.

So yes,- I do feel I’m “breaking out in freedom”- my own freedom in myself 🧡.

I wish you a great day or evening wherever in the world you are 🧡 Thank you so much for using your time and dropping by my blog today 🧡

See you soon 😊

“Breaking out in freedom “- it’s not perfect, but still the ways it should be for me 😊

There’s different ways to feel this “breaking out in freedom”. I have felt on different kinds of “breaking out in freedom” in my life,- as probably must of us have 🥀. It’s depends of what kind of situation we are “breaking us out in freedom” from.

#breakingout #freedom #feelinggrateful #happiness #relived #mentalhealth #colors #oilcolors #peaceinheart #oneofakind #inspiration #illustration #oilpainting #creating #symbolic #feelingfree #mind #thougths #feelings #choices #changes #challenges #positivefocus