My daughter’s story

Hi ❣ It’s so nice to see you,- like always 😊 I hope all is fine with you 🧡

I know it is some days between my posts and it’s a reason for that- called “the life”. Things and situations in life that affects us and our time in different forms, shapes and area. Like my daughter’s story. And then it’s not easy to manage “all and everything”,- at least I don’t manage to do “all and everything” like, unfortunately, use my time to write in my blog at the moment, and a couple of more things 😔.

Her story, my daughter’s story, the story about why she is back in my nest she, me, we together has chosen to share it with you. But in our own way, splitted up on a couple of textes and posts. Something that means you will gets different parts of her story. Why we choose to share it part by part it’s because in general a story is in parts, but we often don’t think about it or see it. In one story it can be several small stories.

Just a tiny little “hands up”- of course there will be some “repit repit” in the different stories, just so you know. But that’s because they are natural enough connected to each other. At the same time it was a bit to much to tell you all in once, also for me as the writer and her mammi as well as for my daughter as the “story teller” and the one who have really lived and experience the story.

And by the way, she didn’t moved into my home in the end of October or the beginning of November when I posted she was back in my nest. She moved in closely straight after I was finish with my students and their exams in the middle of October.

But we needed to sort things out, organize, get an overview and also a get kind of distance before we, special she, was ready to share her story. But like I mention- share her story in our own way.

When my daughter moved back home to me she come pretty much “empty handed”, except from a couple of bags with clothes, some shoes and her toilet bag, and her job computer. When I write “empty handed” she had left different things in the apartment she did share with her, now, ex boyfriend, because the plan was to pick up this things a bit later. And it’s also a limit for how much she could manage to carry on her own as well as put in a taxi. I was working so I couldn’t help her- and she knew that. But I could pay the taxi for her and also help her out when I was off from work.

We have manage to pick up most of her things- but that’s a story in an other text.

“Empty handed” means also she had lost all her money. Not just lost them, her ex boyfriend, I’m going to continue call him NC- his name is Nathaniel (Caprino) Engbråten; had actually used her money little by little, but also stolen her money as well as misused her bank account information.

All her savings was gone, even all the cents she had put away in a box did he took. He had actually empty her for more and less all the cents she had in her box- except from 25 cent I did find a bit “here and there” when I did cleaned up the apartment they did rent. Also coming up in another text.

When I say used her savings little by little he used her money for food and Uber, and drinks and fun ( and probably drugs too) and with a promise to pay her back, because he was also working. Or was he actually working? 🤔 It’s difficult to know what’s true or not true when it comes to this man.

Like some of you know my daughter was very sick with Covid19 this summer so, unfortunately, it was easy for him to get her credit card information. And unfortunately not so easy for her to have control or to do to much at that time with the situation because she was to sick. And now she is struggling with this long Covid as well.

When she moved in to my home, she cried and what she said was that she felt NC has not just stolen all her money, but her whole life. Imagine what kind of feeling to feel that someone have stolen your life. I know exactly how that feels- because I have my own experiences when it comes to feel that someone actually steal your life.

She did felt on guilt and shame and that all her dignity was gone. And she is very frustrated over the situation, more frustrated and sad then angry. She feels on a very big lost. Her life. Not the boyfriend- she’s very happy he is an ex boyfriend. Me too- very, very happy for that.

Guilt because she “let” him do this. But like I told her- she was sick, and she does still struggling with long Covid19, so it’s a limit for how much she could manage to do.

She felt on shame because she did believed him, believed his stories. Trusted him when he “promised” to pay her back for what he did “borrow” when she was laying down filled up with fever and a virus tumbling around in her body.

And her dignity- she is a young woman with a pretty good economic control, but suddenly she didn’t had any control at all over her own money. And she had worked so hard to put of savings to a new passport, and for a train trip to the Norwegian Embassy in Madrid, dentist, plane ticket to Norway, spending money to her holiday in Norway and a new mobile phone. All was gone, every little cent was gone. So at the moment,- no new passport yet, no train ticket to Madrid, no holiday to Norway, no dentist, no spending money, no mobile phone. But we need to fix this passport as soon as possible as well as train ticket to Madrid and a new mobile phone to her. I’m trying my very best to help her at the same time as I support her.

She is really starting on zero again. The “lucky” thing is that it’s at least zero and not on a minus. But there has been, very natural enough, some tears fallen from my daughter’s eyes during the firsts weeks she moved back home to me. And many tears in my mammi heart because it’s hard to see your child in so much mental pain and it’s not very much I can do to remove her pain either. The money is probably long gone- she will never see them again. But I’m trying my very best to help her with what I can help her with.

She did manage to call into the bank and try to stop the transactions, but because of a delay in the system he – NC- actually manage to empty a bit more 😳. It was a delay between her call to her bank account and when her bank account actually was closed. This is- phu- something she also can show to the police and the bank- the time when she did call in for stopping the transactions and the time all was stopped, closed down.

And the police,- yes! This time she did went to the police and reported him. It’s going to be a court case in the beginning of December. And she is though now- I don’t think any man can fool around with her anymore.

And the police treated her so well. Also when she explained about the different mental issues NC has exposed her for the police took her very seriously and also had a back up team for women that also has been exposed for mental violence and not just physical violence.

We have been visiting the police station a couple of times during the lasts weeks 👮‍♂️. But I hope it will be a time before I need to call the emergency number again 😳. But a good thing is that my daughter’s limit to contact the police now is very low. It doesn’t cost her anything to call in something that’s not correct, right or not legal when it come to her, her life and things that’s happen in her life or around her.

But the thing is,- she isn’t so alone in this situation and this story as she first believed. Really not. But she is one of very few that went to the police and reported NC- maybe it will comes more police reports now? After she went to the police suddenly more and more stories about NC “rolled up”. Stories that have happen 3 years ago, maybe even more.

Young girls and young boys that had the same experiences, but they didn’t went to the police because of the shame, because of their lost dignity, because they felt stupid and alone in their situation. Something they are not. But to meet an manipulator does something not very good your mind and soul,- I know.

And even it’s a sad situation for this young girls and boys- I’m actually glad they have each other. It’s just a comfort to actually know you are not alone and the only one in this situation.

My daughter did loose totally “only” around 5000 euro, and there’s many other girls and boys that have lost their money “because” of him, as well as their dignity. Because of the ways he use their credit card information and bank account information, and because of all his lies and not true stories. The way he treated them.

He is police reported now- and my daughter feel relieved because the police took her so seriously and because she is absolutely not alone in this sad- bad economic situation. But there’s still many steps to walk.

This was a short summary of this part of my daughter’s story. It’s, unfortunately, closely impossible to write it all down. But I, we, will try our best to tell you it all – in a short summary version, little by little,- step by step, day by day 📝.

I’m proud of my daughter that went to the police and I’m proud of her for the way she deals with the situation at the same time as she also still struggling with long Covid19 and do her work as best as she can. And she doing good, very good- but I will come back to that story too – an other day 😊.

I wish you a great day or evening wherever in the world you are 🧡. Thank you so much for using your time and dropping by my blog today 🧡

See you soon 😊

My daughter’s box where she sampled and save her cent for “better days” was also empty 😔

Imagine how it feels if someone steel all your money? It wouldn’t be a very good feeling. Then imagine how if feels if you feel someone have stolen your whole life from you 💔.

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