Someone “has” “Friday the 13th”, I think I “had” “Monday the 13th” 😳

Hi ❣ It’s so nice to see you,- like always 😊 I hope all is fine with you 🧡

First of all I need to say I had a really great time together with my friend from Norway 🥰. It was good to see her again and “chat up” after so long time 🥰. And I hope I will get some more guests from Norway during the summer, but first of all I need to sort out some private challenges and issues.

For some people Friday the 13th is a kind of unlucky day,- but for me I think it’s Monday the 13th. Or maybe not unlucky, but challenges. In Spain it’s Tuesday the 13th, or some say also Monday the 13th, that is the “famous unlucky day”- so I’m actually not sure what’s correct. For me it feels more like it’s Monday the 13th that is a day that have this “touch” of this unlucky stuff.

Anyway,- I need to admit this day haven’t quite been my favourite day today. Actually it has been a day with different uncomfortable feelings. So I do feel it has been a bit like a “unlucky the 13th….Monday “.

My private computer collapsed, there’s no life in it no matter what I’m trying to do. That’s not to good, because I do my freelance work on that one,- a job I’m a bit financially dependent on having a while ahead. And I can’t buy a new one at the moment either because…..

…..also today all our things and stuffs suddenly was delivered on my door. I was not prepared for that one, and not my wallet either 😳. And I was really not prepared for the mental and emotional reaction either- that one was really hard. It was hard to “get” our life in Norway after so long time “delivered” on my door. Our past, memories- a lots of great and good memories,- but it’s because of bad memories and experiences all our things are here now. And I was not prepared it was so much things and stuffs either.

I’m very grateful my oldest son is “just around the corner”- because it became a bit to much for me to handle alone today- emotions, thoughts, feelings and worries, tears, so many tears,- and how to manage pay for this? I had a plan- but that one did work out. I haven’t payed for it yet- and that doesn’t feel very good either. It shouldn’t come yet,- and now I feel a bit like I have stolen my own things and stuffs, and past. Not a very good feeling that one either. Hopefully that feeling will past- and solutions showing and coming up too. And hopefully a solution will come very soon. I’m really trying to find a solution.

Luckily there’s different things we can sell- but how fast will it be possible to sell them?

I should also pay for the water to day, but that wasn’t easy to do. A old house with a old payment system, and they couldn’t find my home or the water bill in the system- that one felt very uncomfortable too. Will they turn off the water now? I really don’t hope so.

And then it’s also a strike in my job today at the customer service senter. Strike for higher salaries. I’m very agree that we need to get a bit better / higher salary,- but still it feels a bit like I have done that one illegal today- to not log me on the phone and do my job. I can’t say I felt it was like a great day off from work- more like a day where “all and everything” just “happen”, things I didn’t wanted or wished for to happen. I don’t like to be away from my job when it’s not because of holiday or illness or a legal approved appointment I have and have the right to be away from my job. I didn’t enjoy this day off from work at all for. It feels like i’ve skipped my job today, something I don’t like. So hopefully at least the salary will be higher- but I don’t know.

If it’s something that really stressing me out it’s when I don’t have the overview over the economy. I thought I slowly was getting there now- but with this computer crash, not be able to pay the water bill and also for our things and stuffs- phu- it’s stressing me a bit. And no- at the moment I have no overview over the situation at all.

In one way of course this day also was a good day just because of the reason that our things and stuffs from Norway actually are here now after so many, many years in Norway. And I know that,- but I need to admit that today I have a tiny challenge to see that and feel that. Feel happy and grateful- I feel most sad. Really , really sad, and I do cry too.

At the same time I also was “off from my job” today because of the strike when suddenly all our things was “standing” there. If I have been working I haven’t been able to take them. So maybe something with this day have a kind of meaning, I just don’t see it all yet 😊.

When I have got a bit more control and economic overview it will be better. It will feels better,- but today I’m not ready for any nice and great holiday guests from Norway- but I will be- I just need a tiny bit of time to sort things out a bit first 😊. The economic situation and when I don’t have the control and overview and don’t see the solutions- I don’t like that, it’s stressing me. Even I know it’s not “the end of the world”- it feels a bit like that for me.

And of course I know for many people my day, my unlucky Monday the 13th, and this different experiences and challenges doesn’t feel so much and so big and so challenged- and I understand that- but for me it feels like a tiny mountain with (money) challenges around me today.

And then just to “top it a bit more” my television stopped loading, the chrome caster didn’t wanted to cast, and I suddenly didn’t have any access to my blog either 😅. But both of that ones are fixed now. But of course then even tiny little small things that goes wrong can feel like a tiny mountain to move, and to get things correct again.

And I needed to write this today,- not for complaining- even I know I’m doing that- but in a way write a kind of distance to the things that’s feels a bit challenging and difficult today. And to be honest,- I do feel a bit more calm down then for just a tiny while ago- even I still not have any solutions or overview. I’m actually grateful for the strike today so I was able to take our things and stuffs into my home. And of course I’m grateful for that the things actually are here. And hopefully solutions will come for my private computer, the water bill and the payment for our things too.

Thank you so much for just letting me “squeeze a bit out” on “the paper” today- it helped a bit to be honest 🧡

I wish you a great day or evening wherever in the world you are 🧡 Thank you so much for using your time and dropping by my blog today 🧡

See you as soon as possible 😊

I’m trying to smile as best as I can- but I do feel a bit chaotic inside me today 😊

For some Friday the 13th is a unlucky day, for me it felt a bit like Monday the 13th was a bit uncomfortable day, with a touch of some lucky stuffs. But at the same time touched with some things, happenings, feelings, thoughts and emotions I was not prepared for- lucky ones at the same time as it feels a bit challenging too.

#mondaythe13th #fridaythe13th #challenges #overview #economy #plans #prepred #feelings #thougths #emotions #worries #thepast #memories #lifegoeson #solutions #possibilities

It needs to heal in it’s own way and tempo 🧩⚖

Hi ❣ It’s so nice to see you,- like always 😊 I hope all is fine with you 🧡

Like I mention in my last post,- to have some mental challenges in life is more and less like break a leg or get a sore throat. Sometimes a kind of treatment is necessary, other times the body heals it self. Sometimes you get a scar, other times not.

To compare mental challenges with physical challenges is probably the best way for many people to understand a bit about mental challenges in life.

Mental challenges happens if a person get some not to good experiences in life. The experiences can be many different things,- lose someone close to you, be in a bad relationship, even a bad friendship. It can be so many different things and experiences in life that can make a open, painful sore in a person’s soul and mind. Like the physical open sore needs time to heal, also the open sore in the soul and mind needs time to heal as well. But the healing process is different from person to person, as well as the treatment process also can be different from person to person.

This is not a open sore,- it’s a part of a painting I’m working on,- but it looks a bit like a open inflamed wound, right?

Other times the mental challenges can feels like a big, black, painful and empty holes inside you that you are trying to fill up with different things to both get rid of the pain and close the hole.  Get rid of the empty feeling inside you.

Other times it can be a mix of both the open inflamed sore and the open, empty black hole. And the treatment? It depends on the person, the day, the situation.

I know my daughter very well. I’m probably the one who knows her best, maybe even sometimes better then she knows her self. Because I’m her mammi, I have carried her around, in my stomach, in my arms, in my heart ❤.

And when I say I sometimes wish she was 10 months or 10 years old it’s because it was so much easier to comfort her when she didn’t feel very well. Now at days I’m not always sure what I can do for her so she feels well inside her after what she has been through.

I try to do her days in our home as easy as possible so she can focus on her self, get better, heal her pain, heal her mind, do a good job in her job, get as ready as possible for the big travel to Bali.

I know I can’t fuss too much, demand too much, arguing to much. It’s a lot inside her that must be in place after what she has been through. I know that, and I know things needs to be healed in a way that’s good for her, in her own tempo,- so the scars after her experiences will not be to big in her soul and mind when they are healed.

And I also want her to try to focus on good sleep, regular and healthy food and some exercise. Yoga, walks,- what ever that’s suitable for her. I know this three things are a very important part of getting better, let the mind heal faster.

But to focus on a as regular lifestyle as possible for her is not so easy when she works shifts. Days, afternoons, nights and weekends. It’s not so easy to split the house work between us either when she works like this and also needs to focus to heal her mind and soul.

So even if we have tried,- it’s mainly me that makes the dinners, do the shopping, clean the house, do the dishes and wash the clothes.

So yes,- I can get incredibly tired sometimes. Do different things in the home for two people, take care of her as good as I can and do my own work and my own things too. I actually don’t manage “all and everything”,- but I know this is just for an period. And I know that this is the best solutions for my daughter at the moment.

In about 4 to 6 weeks she will be on the way to Bali. Things will be different for her as well as for me. Hopefully her soul and mind will be more healed, and if she needs me or her psychologist,- I’m just a phone call away, and her psychologist just a Skype conversation away 😊. And her friends will also be available for a good chat,- I know that 😊.

And to be honest,- I need to “heal” a bit too after this period. My daughter know I needs it too,- that Im tired now it’s not a secret. And I’m going to have one week holiday when my daughter has travelled to Bali and in that holiday is just for myself and for to do absolutely nothing (wonder if I can manage that 😅?) 😁.

So,- we both needs to be healed a bit,- but just in very different ways and for very different reasons. I know my daughter will be fine,- she is a strong, young woman ❤. And I will be fine too,- it’s going to be fine to just clean my own cups and plates, wash just my sock and jumpers, clean up just after just my self for a while 😁. I don’t need to heal a open inflamed sore in my soul or a empty painful black hole inside me, likely daughter needs to do. So my “treatment” is very easy actually compared to what my daughter’s has to work with ❤. But she is getting there,- better and better after every “down trip” 🙏🧡.

And she have found her drawing book and colours too during the last days,- a very, very good sign that her mind and soul is starting to heal more and more. I’m so happy and grateful she’s starting to filling up the painful, black hole with colours 🎨🧡. And the inflation is getting better, but I know there still will be days that that one can be painful again.

I wish you a great day or evening wherever in the world you are 🧡 Thank you so much for using your time and dropping by my blog today 🧡

See you soon 😊.

Sometimes the pain inside can feel like a painful, open, black hole inside you that needs to be fixed or filled up with something,- it’s just not always easy to find out what.

Mental challenges can feels like a inflamed sore inside, or like a big, black, painful hole that’s needs to be filled up with something so the pain stops 🚫. My daughter has found her drawing book and her colours, and have slowly started to fill up the black, painful hole with colours 🎨. We all need different ways to find our own way for the treatment of our soul and mind 🧡🥀🙏.

#mentalhealth #treatment #differences #emotions #feelings #thougths #positivefocus #challenges #solutions #possibilities #lifestyle #healing #soul #mind #beingamammi #mydaugther #feelinggrateful

Reuse and recycling 🌍 ♻️

Hi ❣ It’s so nice to see you,- like always 😊 I hope all is fine with you 🧡

As some of you know I like “old” and “used” things, and I like to reuse and recycling. For example I really like to get a bag or two of clothes someone else are “finish” with, or can’t use anymore ( = reuse) , or I like to try to find some kind of “solutions” to use different things “over again” if that’s possible ( = reuse) . Many times it’s not possible. Even food I try to use in the best way as possible instead of throw it into the garbage 🗑.

I was also very good to recycling paper, plastic, glass, metal and so on until I moved last summer. The reason why I haven’t been very good to recycling this things after I moved is because it has been difficult to find the correct recycling garbage boxes here in the area. But now during the last weeks there’s some new recycling boxes in the street so it will be easier to do that kind of “job” for the nature again, recycling ♻️🌍.

I don’t need new things and fancy stuff. For me it’s most important that I like the things and stuffs I have, get or find ….or buy,- because now and then I also need to buy something 😊.

And when I’m painting on the glassbottles I in my own use a glassbottle over again instead of throwing it away 🎨. And I did also find a couple of solutions to use plastic bottles “over again” too 😊 (= reuse)

I made a kind of “gift- , “safe”-, carry- and possibility to hang up” bag for my painted glassbottles 🎨

Now and then, not very often, but it happens people “drops by” to take a tiny look at my art and also want to buy a glassbottle or two 🎨. Then it could be good to have something “safe” to put the glassbottle into, as well as carry in. So then I did cut up some plastic bottles and “created” some simple “gift- and carry bags” in plastic 🛍.

I have some “gift- and carry” plastic bags/ bottles ready in case someone is “dropping by” to buy a glassbottle or two 🛍

It’s a tiny way to reuse the plastic bottles, maybe not the best, but anyway better to throw them away.

It’s also possible to hang the glassbottles up on your clothesline too 😊. But on your own responsibility.

Look at this 😊. A bit cool,- isn’t it? 😊

I’m a bit better on reuse now at days then recycling, but now when there’s new recycling garbage boxes in the street it will be much easier to continue recycling too ♻️.

I have also planted a bit in the plastic bottles. Maybe there will come some more different kinds of onions, tomatoes and paprika in our kitchen during the next weeks? 🍅🌶

I like to find creative solutions and I like to be creative. And I slowly starting to realise that that’s probably a bit of my kind of lifestyle to do too- to be creative and find solutions 😊.

I wish you a great day or evening wherever in the world you are 🧡 Thank you so much for using your time and dropping by my blog today 🧡

See you soon 😊

Two different onions and tomatoes are planted,- and in just a couple of days I’m going to plant some paprika too 🌶

I haven’t been very good to recycling after I moved, but there wasn’t any recycling garbage boxes close by my home ♻️. But when it comes to reuse,- I try to do my best and find some kind of solutions on that one 😊.

#reuse #recycling #beingcreative #create #myart #giftbags #plastic #plants #kitchen #solutions #possibilities #lifestyle #garbage

Goodbye August 👋🌻,- and Hello September 🤞🥀

Hi ❣ It’s so nice to see you,- like always 😊 I hope all is fine with you 🧡

The best is to try to focus on the good moments and memories, even when you “crashing” out of one month, or a happening in your life and “crashing” straight into a new one 😳. But easy? No. But possible? Yes 😊.

We are already closely a week into September, but I actually did “crashing” out of August and just continue “crashing” into September. So I needed a couple of days to just sort out a couple of things before I was ready to write, to say Goodbye to August, and Hello to September 🥀.

At the moment I’m not quite ready to “welcoming” September, but I probably will be there, little by little, but I can at least say Hello September 😊.

August was a very warm month, “touched” up with some great moments worth keep in my mind and soul with happiness and a smile 😊.

I started in a new job, and I’m very grateful for having a job 🧡. I’m back in my home office, something I’m also very grateful for 💻🎧☎️. Pleasant guests has dropped by during August, and I even managed to do some baking too 🥨. I have try to enjoyed the sun as best as I can, but I need to admit it was a bit difficult under a sun with 43 +++ degree ( Celsius) 🌞. Then it’s good to live so close to the beach and ocean 🏖. And Natasja did dropped by too, it was so nice to see her again 🥰.

But August wasn’t just joy and happiness. I did find out that a person who I thought was a very good and trustworthy person was not that at all. I thought this person was a good friend I could trust, but it was just a person who used a friendship for it’s owns benefits.

I need to admit that to find out this was not to good, but at the same time it’s better to know then not know. But I have used a bit time to “get over it”. Get over that this person is not worth my time, energies or tears, but yes, I have used both times, energies and tears on this person, or more correctly, on the way this person did “treated” me. I know it is not worth it, but still it wasn’t so easy to control my tears or my disappointment.

I have choose to not use to much more time on “why”, or this person, or what happen. I have already use to much time, so I just leave it to that. Must of us has been there,- had people in our life that wasn’t the friends or people we thought they was. It’s not the first time for me either to meet a person like this, but hopefully I will meet less and less.

Then my bank account became closed again and I didn’t have any access to my money. Of course this happen on a Friday too, just in case. So I couldn’t reach the bank or any other office before after the weekend. And also I needed to get permission from my job to go to the bank as well.

And just in case,- this time when I went to the bank they couldn’t open it. I need help from some a bit “higher” up in the “system” 😳. Something that’s not to easy to do when “all and everyone” = all kind of office are open when I’m at work. But after a week with no access to my bank account, and actually no money either then, except from the money in my bank account that was “locked” and I couldn’t use, I was “allowed” to get money to pay the different expenses and buy some food. But that’s it.

Just in case I also got my period that week I hadn’t any money, and of course I didn’t have any tampons or something like that in my home either. Because my plan was to buy all this stuff that Friday my bank account was closed. And also just in case I was empty for shower soap too 🧽🧼. Fun? No, not at all.

Lucky for me I was at least working from my home so I didn’t need to go any office in my “condition”.

Solution for my period, – well I used toalett papir, but that wasn’t quite the best. Then I used washcloths,- not to comfortable, but better then the toalett papir or nothing at all. And I had shampoo, so I washed my body as best as I could with shampoo, and my hair too. And of course I manage to bleed during a couple of clothes too. Still very happy I was working from my home 😅.

My bank account is still not up and running as it should be, but I have got some days off from my job in the end of September to fix different kinds of things. Go to the different offices and a that kind of stuff.

As some of you know I was exposed to financial crime / financial fraud in Norway in 2012. Something that I’m probably going to struggle with for the rest of my life,- obviously no matter how hard I’m working to get back in my feet again 👣.

And of course I’m the one who get the “punishment” even it wasn’t me that did the economic fraud. The people who did it will probably never get any punishment if not karma kick their as one day.

It’s not any kind of financial crime that’s happen in my bank account at the moment,- that’s what my bank actually trying to avoid. That’s why even I haven’t any access,- but to get the access I need to visit offices and lawyers- phuha! That will be fun 😳. At least it will be fun, I hope, when I can use my bank account and my bank card normal again. But it’s a process that will take s bit of time and energy. And it has already took a lots of time and energy. Not just this last week, but the economic fraud has taken many years of my thoughts, feelings and energies. And I probably just need to start to accept the facts that this will probably following me and affect my life for the rest of my life.

All here Im telling you are very short version of what actually happened. It’s takes a bit of time to take the long version 😊. And it did took a big more then just a couple of days to been “through” this different things. The last week in August and the first one in September has been a bit challenging to be honest. I feel I crashed out of August and straight into September with out any control over my life, my time, my money.

But in the beginning of September I was able to pay my bills and buy some food, soap, and of course some tampons too, but then my period was over 😅.

And just in case,- when I feel I have a bit more then enough with my own things and stuffs in my life to sort out and fix, my oldest son is knocking on my door and need a place to sleep in between apartments 😳. And it was not just him, but of course his dog, Zorro and his friend too.

And just to “top it all”,- this French man I meet some years ago is back in Spain again 😅. As some of you know, – he was in Spain in the middle of my moving process this June, and now his back again and texting and texting and want to meet up. Well,- I’m not exactly “there” now at days to meet up for a “date”- and I also know what kind of “date” he wants to have. I don’t want to have that kind of date at the moment. It has been to much for me during the lasts weeks.

And yes, I have been praying and crying a lot, and asked for solutions, and at the same time tried to be grateful for everything that’s good in my life too 🧡. I need to admit I was very close to just give up all and everything a couple of days ( not suicidal- I’m not there anymore). But then I became a bit more “No, what the fuck- I’m not going to let this break me, I’m going to find solutions and do all the best I can with my “situation” and my life”.

softies home pajamas

I could have told you all this with a bit more dramatic, the real dramatic I have felt and experienced during the last 2 weeks, but it would take to much time,- and it’s probably not to much of interest for you either 😊. But that’s why I have been a bit “silent” on my blog and not quite ready to “Thanks August” or wish September welcome- because I felt more like a ” big crash” than something I wanted to say “Thank you for” or wish welcome to. I know I have a lots of things to be Thankful for during August, and I think I will have a lots of good things to welcome in September too. But at the moment I’m really not sure what it is. In that “place” I’m now I just see a lots of challenges and then not good challenges. But of course that can, and hopefully, will change 😊.

I don’t want to much drama in my life, or negative challenges. I just want my life to be nice, peaceful and quiet. Hopefully it will be like that too, soon 😊.

I’m sending you a lots of good thoughts and hope the life is good to you 🧡.

I wish you a great day or evening wherever in the world you are 🧡 Thank you so much for using your time and dropping by my blog 🧡

See you soon 😊

I felt and still feel a bit like this- a bit “broken” inside after “crashing” out of August and “crashing” into September.

The best is to try to focus on the good moments and memories, even when you “crashing” out one situation in your life and “crashing” straight into a new one 😳. Easy? No. Possible? Yes 😊. We are already closely a week into September, but I actually did “crashing” out of August and just continue “crashing” into September. So I needed a couple of days to sort things out a bit before I could both say Goodbye and Hello 😊.

#changes #challenges #lifeis #happeningsinlife #economicfraud #lifesituation #solutions #work #positivefocus

Thank you May 🌹Welcome unknown June 🏖

Hi ❣ It’s so nice to see you,- like always 😊 I hope all is fine with you 🧡

May is already soon over, and this month went even faster then the other ones this year 😳 😊.

My “life” in May has mainly contained four things : sleep, eat, work, pack down our life in this home I’m living in at the moment, and have been living in during closely 7 year.

And yes I’m very tired, but that’s the way it is. Soon it will be a bit more time to “fill” up with a bit more “exciting” and different things in my life like painting ( I have actually been painting in May too, some kind of “timeout” has been necessary 🎨), spend time with my friends and family, be in the sun and at the beach, read a book, write in my blog, watch some TV, do some work out, and hopefully a bit more too 😊.

Oh, I need to admit I miss this “things”, this part of my life, things that in a way are my life a bit more then my job and jobs are.

May started a bit “stressful” for me with trying to find a new home, and without knowing if I had a job to go to after 31. July too 😳.

But so fare, so lucky 🥰. I got a new home for at least the next 6 months, and I’m moving in 17. June 🏡. This- Thanks to my incredible good friend Natasja and her husband 🧡. And I also got the news that I will start in a other department 1. August,- so I still will have a job to go too 💻.

So ,- May,- I can be Thankful for fantastic friendship, the possibility for living in a new home and for my “new” job, and my online jobs too that “helps” me do some extra work to earn some extra money 🧡🌹.

But I need to admit it’s a bit hard to work between 9 to 11 hours 5 days a week, and between 6 to 8 hours in the weekends 😴. It’s not a complain, I’m incredibly grateful for having this opportunity, but the fact is, it is still hard 😊.

I’m earning between 6 to 8 euro pr hour in both the costumer service agent job and my online work. So to manage the different expenses I will have in June during this moving process it’s actually necessary for me to work as much as I do at the moment. But okay,- everything goes for a period, doesn’t it? 😊 And I actually have jobs. That’s not for all and everyone to have now at days 🥀.

I’m really looking forward to “meet” June now. I don’t know “all and everything” that will “shows up” during June. But I do know I’m going to pick up the key to the new home, and Im going to see Natasja too 🥰. And I’m going to move- something I’m really looking forward to do now😊. I’m very ready for saying Goodbye to this home now,- and the owner of this home “helped” me to even make it easier to say Goodbye and be ready for this moving- process 😊. They became actually mad because I can’t effort their new rent. So it feels a bit uncomfortable to live and stay here at the moment.

And I know I have a holiday week in June too, to just enjoy. The week after I have moved I have one week off from work 🥰. Just the thought of that feels a bit amazing 😊.

So I don’t have very much to tell you or write about at the moment. It’s not to much exciting things that has happen during the last 2- 3 weeks,- except from sleeping, eating, working, packing down a life. Or actually I have a bit to write about, but I need to “save it all” to days I have a bit more time to just enjoying writing in my blog instead 😊.

Today I just want to say Thank you so much May ( and Natasja 🌹) , for the incredible solutions that “showed up” in a time when I didn’t see so many solutions at all 🥰. I feel incredibly Grateful, lucky and happy for that 🥰.

And Welcome so much to you June, – I’m looking forward to “meet” you even I don’t know very much about you yet 🏖☀️.

And to you my dear readers, – I’m going to “drop by” my blog as much as I can, have the possibility and have the energy too during the nexts weeks. The time, my time will be a bit better and different in a couple of weeks when I’m “placed” close to the beach in a new home, and then you will “hear/ read” a bit more from me, that’s for sure 🏖😊.

I wish you a great day or evening wherever in the world you are 🧡 Thank you so much for using your time and dropping by my blog today 🧡

See you as soon as possible 😘

A bit tired Laila S- doing as best as I can at the moment 😊

I just want to say Thank you so much May for the solutions that showed up this month when I didn’t see so many solutions on my own 🌹. And Welcome June,- I don’t know very much about you, but I do know Im looking forward to meet you🌹, and I’m looking forward to move too 🏡

#lifeis #myblog #mylife #mypost #lifeexperiences #changes #challenges #movingout #dailylife #plans #theunexpexted #may #june #solutions #feelinggrateful #feelinglucky #positivefocus #friends #friendship